Taking myself on allowed me to strip away so much and to let go of the fearful attachment to "things". In fact, later on I gave away enormous amounts of belongings - probably about 98% of everything I had left after my business collapsed. It was so incredibly liberating, even beyond this entry made in 2005, the most recent acceleration of which "letting go" took place only three months before launching this blog. In a quest for happiness and freedom, this detachment from material possessions was very important for me.
All My Worldly Goods
I laughed at myself out loud today as I sat in quiet contemplation, planning my forthcoming move, the third in three years. I realised I need more boxes to carry things in and thought about the self-storage depot not 5 minutes walk away. Then it hit me: in many thousands of years of mankind, we have managed without self-storage, yet the proliferation of such facilities in recent years is plain for all to see in every town and city in the country. I put it down to an ever-increasing materialism and attachment to our vast array of often useless objects that, having invested in, we cannot bring ourselves to part with.
Having sold, given to charity and friends and even thrown away some 60-80% of my possessions, including all my furniture, in my last move, I felt free for once; free of the burden of “things” that reinforce the version of “me” that I created before I took myself on in order to fulfil the promise I made to myself to have a great life. Those “things” were reflections of my choices in life, my “image”, if you like. They both reflected it and reinforced it, like a vicious circle. That would have been fine if I was happy with that image, but actually I wasn’t. Life until 5 years ago was a struggle to prove to the world (and myself) that I was “successful” or had value. When I woke up to this charade and found that what really counts for me is love and friendship, the detritus of the now redundant image needed to fall away to free myself of this false prison and be my true self.
Since then I have bought things that please me that reinforce another image, for none of it is real, but at least it is in alignment with who I choose to be and is a happy choice. Also, these new “things” are not important to me and I could easily jettison almost anything at anytime. My most treasured possessions are photographs of family and friends and tokens of love and friendship. The rest I can do without, hence why I no longer insure the contents of my home. There is no point.
Please don’t get me wrong; I love “nice things”. If I am blessed with money to allow it, I will happily buy beautiful things to adorn me, my home and those whom I adore. I see nothing wrong with “nice things”, but they are simply not important to me anymore and so I no longer moan when I cannot have things and delight in what I can have.
For me this is freedom: may it live in me forevermore.
