The bottom of the well is full of water. It rises as water flows in from the surrounding land until there is plenty. Then it is gradually depleted until it is filled once more. In this way the gentle ebb and flow of nature is demonstrated. As it breathes in and out, we go from plenty to less but always there is enough to go around when things are in harmony, in balance. The skies fill with water in clouds and rain upon the earth when more is needed, filling up the coffers of reserves in the land. This is the way things work when we are happy and contented with our lot and take only what we truly need and leave the excess.
Now, as we observe a change and heat has scorched some lands and floods immerse and cleanse others, there is imbalance and drought and death as a result. For thousands of years we have slowly turned a heavenly planet into a desert where plenty that was once known throughout is now gone. We will again know our home on Mother Earth as heaven restored as we learn to respect and love first ourselves and then all that is around us, of which we are just part, sharing in everything in a harmonious dance of existence. I pray this time will come before too long.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Saturday, 14 January 2012
An Insane Life!
When I look at myself and ask, “What is it that sets me apart from others?” besides the fact that I am like everyone else, unique, I am drawn to one thing: my commitment, my absolute, seemingly undying commitment to myself, to fulfil myself at the highest possible level in this lifetime.
After all, I am just the same as everyone else in terms of my potential and indeed my source: we are all “chips off the old block”, shards of the universal consciousness. So, knowing that some people out-performing others is not about superiority, given that we each have infinite potential, it can only be one thing: commitment. Nothing else explains the difference between someone who is a couch potato all their life and someone who has an outstanding life.
But commitment to what? To having the best life I possibly can, to making the most of this life till the day I die. To making a difference in the world to the best of my ability.
Since I started writing this piece I also found out something else that sets me apart from others. I don’t live in fear. In fact, I refuse to live in fear. Such is my commitment to life that I expect mainly good things to happen to me and don’t expect bad things to happen very often. When they do there is usually a reason and I love my life this way.
How on earth have humans managed for a hundred thousand years or more without crash helmets, life insurance and medicare? Since when did we decide these were bare essentials of life? Who says I need a nest-egg for retirement - indeed, who says we need or even should retire?
What brought this to a head was listening a talk by a man who was arguing that we are too careful, too safety conscious these days, too scared and I agree. He even cited helmets you can now buy for toddlers to prevent the risk of head damage while children are learning to walk, for goodness sake! How I see it is, you may as well live in a bunker if you want to be that safe!
In fact, why bother to be born in the first place?!
The same question is valid not only for living a life in fear and not venturing out but also for not living a committed life. If we play safe for fear of harm, for fear of failure, for fear of success for fear of inadequacy, what point is there to life?
This may occur as a bold, even offensive, stance. Good! I don’t care! I want people to live wonderful fulfilled lives and, sure, they will die one day but they are likely to die a lot happier from that unforeseen accident (which was going to happen anyway when their time has come!) when they have lived life to the full.
Am I crazy? Probably, if you define sanity by reference to the collective agreement on what is “sane”. As I once said to someone I thought a friend (and now know to be its opposite), I would rather be crazy and this happy than supposedly sane and miserable like most people seem to be...indeed I would sooner die!
After all, I am just the same as everyone else in terms of my potential and indeed my source: we are all “chips off the old block”, shards of the universal consciousness. So, knowing that some people out-performing others is not about superiority, given that we each have infinite potential, it can only be one thing: commitment. Nothing else explains the difference between someone who is a couch potato all their life and someone who has an outstanding life.
But commitment to what? To having the best life I possibly can, to making the most of this life till the day I die. To making a difference in the world to the best of my ability.
Since I started writing this piece I also found out something else that sets me apart from others. I don’t live in fear. In fact, I refuse to live in fear. Such is my commitment to life that I expect mainly good things to happen to me and don’t expect bad things to happen very often. When they do there is usually a reason and I love my life this way.
How on earth have humans managed for a hundred thousand years or more without crash helmets, life insurance and medicare? Since when did we decide these were bare essentials of life? Who says I need a nest-egg for retirement - indeed, who says we need or even should retire?
What brought this to a head was listening a talk by a man who was arguing that we are too careful, too safety conscious these days, too scared and I agree. He even cited helmets you can now buy for toddlers to prevent the risk of head damage while children are learning to walk, for goodness sake! How I see it is, you may as well live in a bunker if you want to be that safe!
In fact, why bother to be born in the first place?!
The same question is valid not only for living a life in fear and not venturing out but also for not living a committed life. If we play safe for fear of harm, for fear of failure, for fear of success for fear of inadequacy, what point is there to life?
This may occur as a bold, even offensive, stance. Good! I don’t care! I want people to live wonderful fulfilled lives and, sure, they will die one day but they are likely to die a lot happier from that unforeseen accident (which was going to happen anyway when their time has come!) when they have lived life to the full.
Am I crazy? Probably, if you define sanity by reference to the collective agreement on what is “sane”. As I once said to someone I thought a friend (and now know to be its opposite), I would rather be crazy and this happy than supposedly sane and miserable like most people seem to be...indeed I would sooner die!
Friday, 13 January 2012
Walking My Talk, Not Running a Marathon!
It’s interesting how normally I like to live following my heart, doing what feels right moment by moment, yet when I get into something that I am excited about, it can be harder to listen to myself. I am so excited about the business I hope to launch later this year that I can find the excitement coupled with fears and doubts mix together and produce stress. I think I “should” be feeling a certain way or “should” be doing certain things. But that is rubbish and I know it only too well: it is no more true of this than anything else. In fact, I assert that it is a bare-faced lie that the ego tells to get us back under its wings, its tutelage, its misguidance.
What I found in allowing myself to get into this misguide state, somewhat uncharacteristically, earlier this week was that in forcing things it drained my confidence as I produce inferior work yet this does not happen when I go with the flow. It was very uncomfortable for a couple of days as I ploughed on regardless. However, yesterday I had the wisdom to “down tools”, not in rejection of anything but simply recognising I was not in a suitable state of mind to produce something enlightened and life-changing. When I look at it dispassionately, it is patently absurd to attempt to create something that will supposedly teach people how to access their inner greatness when I am doing the exact opposite! After all, if I practice what I preach, just maybe my customers will get it!
So, now it is the morning of the second day when I have vouched to do nothing unless I feel positively drawn to do it, inspired to do it. I will not resume any form of work until it feels right and I feel no guilt - guilt comes from the “shoulds”, things that common social agreement dictate; that we need to work hard and push ahead with things in order to deserve to succeed and in order to make a living for ourselves, a mentality that makes life a constant state of preparing to run a marathon! What utter nonsense is that?! I work for myself, owing no duty other than to myself and the universal life-force that I purport to serve. Indeed, to fulfil on my obligations to myself and “God” (as I will call that life-force for now), I must not allow myself to be driven by anything other than my heart and in that comes freedom, peace and ultimately effortless creativity. I have experienced this time and time again and yet how easily am I fooled by my ego into a different course of action!
You see, I know what I can do when I trust myself and God; I know I can make a difference to people just by my words when I come from my heart and am true to myself. So I will not sell myself (or God) short by one single ounce.
And the impact of this stand for my true worth? I feel great. No more nagging doubts., fear or guilt. Instead, I feel alive and creative and hungry for expression of the creativity in whatever way shows up for now. Who knows what the day may bring and it doesn’t matter if it has nothing to do with my work: if it doesn’t, I trust that there is a reason and it will work out when it is meant to and not before.
What I found in allowing myself to get into this misguide state, somewhat uncharacteristically, earlier this week was that in forcing things it drained my confidence as I produce inferior work yet this does not happen when I go with the flow. It was very uncomfortable for a couple of days as I ploughed on regardless. However, yesterday I had the wisdom to “down tools”, not in rejection of anything but simply recognising I was not in a suitable state of mind to produce something enlightened and life-changing. When I look at it dispassionately, it is patently absurd to attempt to create something that will supposedly teach people how to access their inner greatness when I am doing the exact opposite! After all, if I practice what I preach, just maybe my customers will get it!
So, now it is the morning of the second day when I have vouched to do nothing unless I feel positively drawn to do it, inspired to do it. I will not resume any form of work until it feels right and I feel no guilt - guilt comes from the “shoulds”, things that common social agreement dictate; that we need to work hard and push ahead with things in order to deserve to succeed and in order to make a living for ourselves, a mentality that makes life a constant state of preparing to run a marathon! What utter nonsense is that?! I work for myself, owing no duty other than to myself and the universal life-force that I purport to serve. Indeed, to fulfil on my obligations to myself and “God” (as I will call that life-force for now), I must not allow myself to be driven by anything other than my heart and in that comes freedom, peace and ultimately effortless creativity. I have experienced this time and time again and yet how easily am I fooled by my ego into a different course of action!
You see, I know what I can do when I trust myself and God; I know I can make a difference to people just by my words when I come from my heart and am true to myself. So I will not sell myself (or God) short by one single ounce.
And the impact of this stand for my true worth? I feel great. No more nagging doubts., fear or guilt. Instead, I feel alive and creative and hungry for expression of the creativity in whatever way shows up for now. Who knows what the day may bring and it doesn’t matter if it has nothing to do with my work: if it doesn’t, I trust that there is a reason and it will work out when it is meant to and not before.
Monday, 9 January 2012
A Second Dawn
Beckoned from dormant consciousness by the wise words of a distant friend, I stir from within as I remember who I am and let go of notions that I am less than that. Gone in a flash, I now sit in my haven of peace, the venue for my redemptive meditations and healings, my dog in semi-slumber at my side offering me the solace of his loyalty and love when tears welled up earlier in the pain of my “sleep”.
Now all I do is cast my mind aside and a subtle smile appears on my now peaceful countenance, for it betrays that the truth has returned to my waking state and lends a lie to the nightmares of the conscious mind that tortured me in the early hours of the day.
I feel slightly silly in fact, the thought that I was so carried away by my fears, so forlorn that I contemplated the release of an early death sooner than face a reality of great disappointment in myself. The foolishness is compounded by the notion that I had thought myself “well travelled” on this journey of life, yet still the ego interrupts and troubles me unchecked from time to time. But even that thought is designed by the ego to flail myself with and so is set free and forgotten, since it means nothing and I allow that I am human and may stray and all is well and as it should be.
The result of this re-awakening is a certain lightness of being, an awareness that the state of “less than” in which I have writhed for some time has caused some discomfort in my physical body caused by indigestion and consumption beyond my needs to fill a gap left by the dormant self, the true self. So now I crave nurturing for my body in the form of clean water to drink and pure juices to wash through this abused vehicle to replenish it and show penance for what has gone on before. So it is then that I pray and make offerings to the temple that is my body, the sacred vehicle of this incarnation. So begins the dawn of my day anew.
Now all I do is cast my mind aside and a subtle smile appears on my now peaceful countenance, for it betrays that the truth has returned to my waking state and lends a lie to the nightmares of the conscious mind that tortured me in the early hours of the day.
I feel slightly silly in fact, the thought that I was so carried away by my fears, so forlorn that I contemplated the release of an early death sooner than face a reality of great disappointment in myself. The foolishness is compounded by the notion that I had thought myself “well travelled” on this journey of life, yet still the ego interrupts and troubles me unchecked from time to time. But even that thought is designed by the ego to flail myself with and so is set free and forgotten, since it means nothing and I allow that I am human and may stray and all is well and as it should be.
The result of this re-awakening is a certain lightness of being, an awareness that the state of “less than” in which I have writhed for some time has caused some discomfort in my physical body caused by indigestion and consumption beyond my needs to fill a gap left by the dormant self, the true self. So now I crave nurturing for my body in the form of clean water to drink and pure juices to wash through this abused vehicle to replenish it and show penance for what has gone on before. So it is then that I pray and make offerings to the temple that is my body, the sacred vehicle of this incarnation. So begins the dawn of my day anew.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
The Lessons Learnt - Reporting a Shamanic Journey of Discovery
As we ventured forth on our journey, we began to notice animals everywhere, at out side, in front and behind us too. They watched as we roamed around looking for clues and found them too. These animals’ eyes were full of light that shone out and lit the way for us too, like torches in the night.
As we went farther, deeper into the abyss, we found more of the same: everywhere the same in fact, no exception, just light and animals in the place of darkness. It is as if they shone a torch of discovery on every dark patch around us until the dark was no more. In their eyes was the truth of our existence, of our oneness with everything, of the love that unites us all.
As our journey ended and we came back into the world of illusion we found ourselves once more separate and without light, but this time armed with what we saw we could make our own light and let it shine out upon the world and slowly but surely will unfold everlasting light, an end to the darkness illusion on Earth.
So, what we take from this experience, from this journey, is what follows: the light in the animals’ eyes is that which will be gleaned on each and every journey undertaken by the many you will engage in your endeavours and all you need do is be true to yourself on that journey and all else will follow as naturally as night follows day. Lead with inspiration, from the heart and never lose faith in who you are, for it will radiate from you like a beacon and bring light to the many who now seek it, forlorn in the dark worlds of their minds. That is all.
As we went farther, deeper into the abyss, we found more of the same: everywhere the same in fact, no exception, just light and animals in the place of darkness. It is as if they shone a torch of discovery on every dark patch around us until the dark was no more. In their eyes was the truth of our existence, of our oneness with everything, of the love that unites us all.
As our journey ended and we came back into the world of illusion we found ourselves once more separate and without light, but this time armed with what we saw we could make our own light and let it shine out upon the world and slowly but surely will unfold everlasting light, an end to the darkness illusion on Earth.
So, what we take from this experience, from this journey, is what follows: the light in the animals’ eyes is that which will be gleaned on each and every journey undertaken by the many you will engage in your endeavours and all you need do is be true to yourself on that journey and all else will follow as naturally as night follows day. Lead with inspiration, from the heart and never lose faith in who you are, for it will radiate from you like a beacon and bring light to the many who now seek it, forlorn in the dark worlds of their minds. That is all.
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Love and The Second Amendment
Today I want to share an anonymised version of something that took place on Facebook. Someone I respect greatly had started a thread relating to the Second Amendment to the US constitution that purports to grant the right to bear arms. Others exchanged views endorsing the bearing of arms to keep crime low, citing statistical evidence that it works. Born and bred as I was in a country where arms are seriously frowned upon and the example of the US in this regard is seen as essentially extremely negative, I was surprised at the stance of people I know are committed to a new golden age of man in which peace and respect for life are paramount and my “opinions” were tendered accordingly but were not popular, “reasons” for their opinions being cited right, left and centre.
In the end, I withdrew my posts which led to the “host” commenting that he was disappointed that I withdrew my comments as my view was as valid as any (which was kind of him) which prompted me to send him a private message which read:
Dear [Joe]
Sorry if my hasty withdrawal from the thread about arms disappointed you. I did it partly because I should not have been in the thread in the first place plus I genuinely felt shocked/disappointed at the stance taken by people I thought committed to a new age. However, such comments by me, even here, are judgmental and may be why spirit has actively discouraged me from any form of expression of opinion.
I stand for love in the world: no conditions, no “but what about...” or “what if...”, just love. As you are well aware, love is beyond the world of reason and debate is in the world of reason and leads us nowhere but towards separation. I believe that only in my standing in a position of absolute commitment to it in the face of all reason will the new age come about - I cannot change others and do not seek to do so and I forgive those who cannot yet see the implications of their own stand that is less than love. It will work out either way in the end, I believe - however, I also believe that in the absence of enough committed people, the path will be much tougher than it needs to be, but if that is the collective will at present, so be it. God’s will be done. To that I am wedded and my opinions mean nothing, my reasons no more than the logical end-game of the experiences of my ego.
So, I stand for love...no reasons, no apologies and no conditions, even in the face of not having a clue how it can happen in these admittedly compelling reasons...but it will. My faith is stronger than are my reasons.
As a closing point, what was interesting was the reaction of the ego-personality you know as Maitland. He was quite upset at the situation and I see that he fears that it may not happen and that is OK - he is human and forgives himself! I hope you forgive me too.
With love and peace always,
Maitland
In the end, I withdrew my posts which led to the “host” commenting that he was disappointed that I withdrew my comments as my view was as valid as any (which was kind of him) which prompted me to send him a private message which read:
Dear [Joe]
Sorry if my hasty withdrawal from the thread about arms disappointed you. I did it partly because I should not have been in the thread in the first place plus I genuinely felt shocked/disappointed at the stance taken by people I thought committed to a new age. However, such comments by me, even here, are judgmental and may be why spirit has actively discouraged me from any form of expression of opinion.
I stand for love in the world: no conditions, no “but what about...” or “what if...”, just love. As you are well aware, love is beyond the world of reason and debate is in the world of reason and leads us nowhere but towards separation. I believe that only in my standing in a position of absolute commitment to it in the face of all reason will the new age come about - I cannot change others and do not seek to do so and I forgive those who cannot yet see the implications of their own stand that is less than love. It will work out either way in the end, I believe - however, I also believe that in the absence of enough committed people, the path will be much tougher than it needs to be, but if that is the collective will at present, so be it. God’s will be done. To that I am wedded and my opinions mean nothing, my reasons no more than the logical end-game of the experiences of my ego.
So, I stand for love...no reasons, no apologies and no conditions, even in the face of not having a clue how it can happen in these admittedly compelling reasons...but it will. My faith is stronger than are my reasons.
As a closing point, what was interesting was the reaction of the ego-personality you know as Maitland. He was quite upset at the situation and I see that he fears that it may not happen and that is OK - he is human and forgives himself! I hope you forgive me too.
With love and peace always,
Maitland
Saturday, 31 December 2011
A New Year's Eve Ramble
Once again, a blank sheet before me and nowhere to go, no goal to achieve, no purpose in mind other than the free expression of my true self pouring onto the page before me uncontrolled and with heart-felt passion. So where will you lead me today my lovely inner self, what truths will unfold of the lies untold till now? Will you be mine, true and unlimited or will you withhold yourself until another time and thereby deny your power and grace to all, unseen, hidden, denied, a fraud on the self?
No, I will venture forth and discover what there is to know today, what beauty of revelation exists in simple flow, in letting go of the self in favour of the divine inner me, my own alma mater, my one true friend, myself. Spill it out, spew forth the regurgitated thoughts until they are new and fresh and reborn of I know not what, but reborn they will be anyway, will no end in sight, no purpose, just the quintessentially aimless ramblings of a futile mind and body surrendering to the soul once more.
So, here I am. Take me...for what I am and who I am and be me, the child of a flawless universe, the son of mankind and father of all things, the internal paradox in everything. I am me, all, everything, yet nothing in a vast existence beyond the stars and beyond even the realms of love. Floating aimlessly allows me to see the stars, the world, the universe, the coils sprung deep within life bursting forth in existence that is but transitory, a magical journey as if on drugs but in my case no drug is necessary as I shun pure rigid existence and instead flow within and without, weaving the tapestry of life, neither moaning nor screaming with joy, for in this state there is no point in either state of being, just so, heaven in a state of being beyond feelings, awareness as an observer and nothing more, yet so it is I know myself to be part of the divine order and in surrender to it I am more than I can ever be alone.
So now what...?
No, I will venture forth and discover what there is to know today, what beauty of revelation exists in simple flow, in letting go of the self in favour of the divine inner me, my own alma mater, my one true friend, myself. Spill it out, spew forth the regurgitated thoughts until they are new and fresh and reborn of I know not what, but reborn they will be anyway, will no end in sight, no purpose, just the quintessentially aimless ramblings of a futile mind and body surrendering to the soul once more.
So, here I am. Take me...for what I am and who I am and be me, the child of a flawless universe, the son of mankind and father of all things, the internal paradox in everything. I am me, all, everything, yet nothing in a vast existence beyond the stars and beyond even the realms of love. Floating aimlessly allows me to see the stars, the world, the universe, the coils sprung deep within life bursting forth in existence that is but transitory, a magical journey as if on drugs but in my case no drug is necessary as I shun pure rigid existence and instead flow within and without, weaving the tapestry of life, neither moaning nor screaming with joy, for in this state there is no point in either state of being, just so, heaven in a state of being beyond feelings, awareness as an observer and nothing more, yet so it is I know myself to be part of the divine order and in surrender to it I am more than I can ever be alone.
So now what...?
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Life is Good!
As I caressed the ever-diminishing remains of my “laughing Buddha” styled tummy, I felt a new love and closeness with my body, a strong urge to treat it as it deserves, with love and respect always. So long has it suffered my excesses, stresses and challenges, now is an awakening to the that part of me, the whole me, that has so sorely been neglected at times, the vehicle of this wonderful incarnation.
Then a short time later I took Lucky (my dog) out for a lunchtime walk and as I passed a neighbour a street away, he smiled and exchanged brief pleasantries in typical Thai style and as I left him I pondered the awareness of the loving way he was painting his front porch and painting pots to match. The colour choices would not have been mine but I saw a light form of love and respect for his home.
So, this second dose of loving respect, this time for an external inanimate object, reminded me of the love I had put into preparing a delicious meal for my partner last night and suddenly, amidst the tripartite experiences of honouring oneself and others and other things with loving respect, I felt a surge of bliss, a sense of wonder at life and the consciousness of love and being at one with everything. It all made sense to me, the love starts with oneself, one’s whole self, mind body and spirit and the more one feels it, the more one heals the lack of it, the greater it is.
Life is good!
Then a short time later I took Lucky (my dog) out for a lunchtime walk and as I passed a neighbour a street away, he smiled and exchanged brief pleasantries in typical Thai style and as I left him I pondered the awareness of the loving way he was painting his front porch and painting pots to match. The colour choices would not have been mine but I saw a light form of love and respect for his home.
So, this second dose of loving respect, this time for an external inanimate object, reminded me of the love I had put into preparing a delicious meal for my partner last night and suddenly, amidst the tripartite experiences of honouring oneself and others and other things with loving respect, I felt a surge of bliss, a sense of wonder at life and the consciousness of love and being at one with everything. It all made sense to me, the love starts with oneself, one’s whole self, mind body and spirit and the more one feels it, the more one heals the lack of it, the greater it is.
Life is good!
Don’t Give Things Up, Just Heal
In the strangest, perhaps most challenging of circumstances on several levels, I find myself truly blissful and indeed excited as I notice myself emerging free of bonds that have tied me for decades, bonds of unnecessary weight and regular alcohol consumption.
The traditional approach to such things is to “give things up” and this creates a tension within the whole self, the mind, body and spirit. The reason the weight and regular beers were there in the first place was to protect me from pain, to give me comfort and numb reality that I secretly perceived as deeply painful; secretly to myself as well, as I had no idea how much pain lay buried deep within my subconsciousness as I went about my life, often smiling even int he face of challenges. But now I face a future of real smiles and peace of mind.
I have prayed for several years to be able to be slim again and not to drink every day as I have, pretty much, for the last 30 years or more, not large amounts all that time but every day without fail for more than 25 of those years!
What I was seeking was, in effect, a healing of the issues that had me feel I needed to be this way and only now do I feel ready to shed this shell I wore to protect me from my heartache. It is a wonderful feeling: having done much work to heal myself and with considerable external help from the forces that help if we ask, this realisation that I am ready has been triggered by the detox diet I am undergoing in which I just don’t miss drinking at all and all I care about is healthy, delicious food, things that honour my body and fill it with energy and a lust for life.
The whole point about this is that doing it this way, healing the underlying causes, it is truly effortless and I have no sense of giving anything up - besides which, I have every intention of enjoying the odd glass of wine or beer, etc. I knew that in order to lead life-changing retreats I should be healed and whole to a level that has shed all addictions and here I am, now ready to receive all that I have been asking for.
I finally see that I am ready to step out into the world, free to yet another level, happy in my skin, yet all of this at a time when some aspects of my life are extremely challenging! What an adventure life is!
The traditional approach to such things is to “give things up” and this creates a tension within the whole self, the mind, body and spirit. The reason the weight and regular beers were there in the first place was to protect me from pain, to give me comfort and numb reality that I secretly perceived as deeply painful; secretly to myself as well, as I had no idea how much pain lay buried deep within my subconsciousness as I went about my life, often smiling even int he face of challenges. But now I face a future of real smiles and peace of mind.
I have prayed for several years to be able to be slim again and not to drink every day as I have, pretty much, for the last 30 years or more, not large amounts all that time but every day without fail for more than 25 of those years!
What I was seeking was, in effect, a healing of the issues that had me feel I needed to be this way and only now do I feel ready to shed this shell I wore to protect me from my heartache. It is a wonderful feeling: having done much work to heal myself and with considerable external help from the forces that help if we ask, this realisation that I am ready has been triggered by the detox diet I am undergoing in which I just don’t miss drinking at all and all I care about is healthy, delicious food, things that honour my body and fill it with energy and a lust for life.
The whole point about this is that doing it this way, healing the underlying causes, it is truly effortless and I have no sense of giving anything up - besides which, I have every intention of enjoying the odd glass of wine or beer, etc. I knew that in order to lead life-changing retreats I should be healed and whole to a level that has shed all addictions and here I am, now ready to receive all that I have been asking for.
I finally see that I am ready to step out into the world, free to yet another level, happy in my skin, yet all of this at a time when some aspects of my life are extremely challenging! What an adventure life is!
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Itchy Fingers!
So, it seems my fingers are itching to write something; no particular place to go but a strong desire to express myself from my heart and my fingers are listening, even when I am not!
“Why?”, I hear you say. No reason, just a feeling. Feelings have no reasons. They just are. If only we could live in the feelings of what is and just be. How simple and peaceful that would be. No place to get to, no past to lament or future to long for, just now: the beautiful ever-changing patterns on the clouds at dawn as the sun rises and bring new hues on subtle puffs of white to a myriad variations pink, grey and blue, of wondrous art hewn on the fleeting art of the skies.
As I wonder around in this state of awareness I see new buds and shoots rise amid dying and dead branches and leaves, the whole cycle of life before my very eyes in its own glory, without associated fear that usually accompanies the cycle in humans, so often unaware of their part in nature for all it is.
Next, a sound: the shrill whistling of a small group tropical birds as they call to each other and play as the day breaks and beyond, providing a regular chorus that reminds me not only of their presence and their beautiful song but also the immense beauty all around me in my simple tropical paradise.
Then later in the day as heavier clouds form, the forbidding dark grey tones that promise a heavy downfall are both cause for seeking protection but also for delight as the anticipation grows and shortly before the first drops come, a sudden rush of wind to stir things up and beckon the oncoming rains. Then, in a flash, there it comes, pouring down so fast it fills large tubs in minutes and washes away much of the accumulated detritus since the last storm and I watch as the torrential rains bring freshness to all that surrounds me and invigorates me with its electric energy, its passionate embrace of the earth an act of natural love.
By my very presence in being, I see this and not the sourness of grey skies or the ugliness of dead plants. I see life in all its beauty and I am content.
By way of gift, my fingers bring me beyond the many minor woes of my day to a state of gratitude and joy, the source of the woes, a creation of a busy mind looking at what it thinks should be rather than what is, soon swept aside.
“Why?”, I hear you say. No reason, just a feeling. Feelings have no reasons. They just are. If only we could live in the feelings of what is and just be. How simple and peaceful that would be. No place to get to, no past to lament or future to long for, just now: the beautiful ever-changing patterns on the clouds at dawn as the sun rises and bring new hues on subtle puffs of white to a myriad variations pink, grey and blue, of wondrous art hewn on the fleeting art of the skies.
As I wonder around in this state of awareness I see new buds and shoots rise amid dying and dead branches and leaves, the whole cycle of life before my very eyes in its own glory, without associated fear that usually accompanies the cycle in humans, so often unaware of their part in nature for all it is.
Next, a sound: the shrill whistling of a small group tropical birds as they call to each other and play as the day breaks and beyond, providing a regular chorus that reminds me not only of their presence and their beautiful song but also the immense beauty all around me in my simple tropical paradise.
Then later in the day as heavier clouds form, the forbidding dark grey tones that promise a heavy downfall are both cause for seeking protection but also for delight as the anticipation grows and shortly before the first drops come, a sudden rush of wind to stir things up and beckon the oncoming rains. Then, in a flash, there it comes, pouring down so fast it fills large tubs in minutes and washes away much of the accumulated detritus since the last storm and I watch as the torrential rains bring freshness to all that surrounds me and invigorates me with its electric energy, its passionate embrace of the earth an act of natural love.
By my very presence in being, I see this and not the sourness of grey skies or the ugliness of dead plants. I see life in all its beauty and I am content.
By way of gift, my fingers bring me beyond the many minor woes of my day to a state of gratitude and joy, the source of the woes, a creation of a busy mind looking at what it thinks should be rather than what is, soon swept aside.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Oneness Episodes: True Glimpses of Reality
I have noticed that since I began the very powerful pyramid sessions 7 days ago in which I receive very high frequency energies, I have had the usual feelings of tiredness but also a strange sensation occasionally that I find hard to put into words.
Usually it occurs when napping, just before I nod off. I have often experienced what is presumably the commonplace drifting into sleep when “reality” mixes with dreams but this is different. In that same time slot, perhaps immediately before it, everything is strange, very confusing, like nothing makes sense anymore.
Though I remain unable to express it in words properly, I suddenly saw it for what it is this morning: I am temporarily experiencing a total lifting of the veil of illusion that we call reality and suddenly it is gone. It lasts but a split second but is perhaps a little disconcerting. My first sense was that I was “losing it” but I now realise it is part of the process as I am almost literally re-wired by the high frequency energies that I am receiving.
I actually get the odd even shorter glimpse of it sometimes during the day - not much at all but just the tiniest split second in the middle of doing something. It started with lapses in my ability to connect quickly as I am used to being able to do, having a very quick, mercurial mind as I do, but it developed to this very interesting experience. I wonder where it will lead.
I don’t expect that these episodes will necessarily grow or expand I suspect they are merely symptoms of this process, of this “re-wiring” that I had already been warned would happen and would ultimately result in me seeing the entire nature of this world differently. I have also been told that the process with inculcate a sense of oneness not only at a mental level but at a body level too so again I suspect this is part of it.
The nearest experience I have had to this, on reflection, is very different and occurred 21 years ago after a year of regular meditation (once or twice a day) and involved me walking down the street when suddenly, I had a flash sense that I was just part of everything around me, the garden of the ordinary terraced house that I was passing at the time, just everything. It was a magical moment of oneness that I have never forgotten and kept open the possibility of a universal consciousness (that for shorthand I now sometimes call “God”), though i stopped meditating for 15 years and only when I started again did I suddenly find the strong faith that I now have.
So, strange though this experience is, I think it is wonderful and a sign of major internal shifts in my consciousness as well as my physical being, a move to open oneness consciousness, not merely as a intellectual concept but as an actual experience of “reality”.
Usually it occurs when napping, just before I nod off. I have often experienced what is presumably the commonplace drifting into sleep when “reality” mixes with dreams but this is different. In that same time slot, perhaps immediately before it, everything is strange, very confusing, like nothing makes sense anymore.
Though I remain unable to express it in words properly, I suddenly saw it for what it is this morning: I am temporarily experiencing a total lifting of the veil of illusion that we call reality and suddenly it is gone. It lasts but a split second but is perhaps a little disconcerting. My first sense was that I was “losing it” but I now realise it is part of the process as I am almost literally re-wired by the high frequency energies that I am receiving.
I actually get the odd even shorter glimpse of it sometimes during the day - not much at all but just the tiniest split second in the middle of doing something. It started with lapses in my ability to connect quickly as I am used to being able to do, having a very quick, mercurial mind as I do, but it developed to this very interesting experience. I wonder where it will lead.
I don’t expect that these episodes will necessarily grow or expand I suspect they are merely symptoms of this process, of this “re-wiring” that I had already been warned would happen and would ultimately result in me seeing the entire nature of this world differently. I have also been told that the process with inculcate a sense of oneness not only at a mental level but at a body level too so again I suspect this is part of it.
The nearest experience I have had to this, on reflection, is very different and occurred 21 years ago after a year of regular meditation (once or twice a day) and involved me walking down the street when suddenly, I had a flash sense that I was just part of everything around me, the garden of the ordinary terraced house that I was passing at the time, just everything. It was a magical moment of oneness that I have never forgotten and kept open the possibility of a universal consciousness (that for shorthand I now sometimes call “God”), though i stopped meditating for 15 years and only when I started again did I suddenly find the strong faith that I now have.
So, strange though this experience is, I think it is wonderful and a sign of major internal shifts in my consciousness as well as my physical being, a move to open oneness consciousness, not merely as a intellectual concept but as an actual experience of “reality”.
Saturday, 5 November 2011
Successfully Navigating the Chamber of Demons
Yesterday, I read somewhere a tale about some monks that had to pass through a chamber of demons before getting to the door on the other side that leads into the promised land, the highest state of inner peace. The tale went that monks often went into it never to emerge but when eventually one did so, he was asked how he did it, he said he just kept his eye on the door at all times.
This resonated with me as I pass through that chamber myself and feel the tugging of the demons around me, the demons of doubt and fear. Then later as I shared this with my best friend, I went deeper into the allegory and saw that the best way to live in the most fulfilled and happiest way is to set your sights on that intention without attachment to anything - how it should look and how one should get there - and then just take one step at a time, knowing one will pass through hurdles designed to strengthen us along the way, guided only by what feels right in the moment and NEVER losing sight of the door and ALWAYS following one’s heart.
The only addition to make to this simple way of living is to live in the moment, mindful of that door but present to all that is around you, looking for the good, the benefit in every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, grateful for what each one brings and happy to be on the journey.
With this I don’t need to know what step to take in two steps’ time or whether I will “succeed” - success is in every step, even when we feel we have taken the “wrong one”, for the wrong one never exists as each is perfect to teach us something new. Even persistently “failing” to learn the lesson is simply a set back that will eventually be corrected in this life or another.
So I am reminded to accept today’s challenges with gratitude, to notice my feelings that are unpleasant and know that there us a reason for them surfacing to be released and thereby empower me in the next step of the journey. Do I find this easy? No! Am I committed to this path and this perspective, however? Oh, yes indeed!
This resonated with me as I pass through that chamber myself and feel the tugging of the demons around me, the demons of doubt and fear. Then later as I shared this with my best friend, I went deeper into the allegory and saw that the best way to live in the most fulfilled and happiest way is to set your sights on that intention without attachment to anything - how it should look and how one should get there - and then just take one step at a time, knowing one will pass through hurdles designed to strengthen us along the way, guided only by what feels right in the moment and NEVER losing sight of the door and ALWAYS following one’s heart.
The only addition to make to this simple way of living is to live in the moment, mindful of that door but present to all that is around you, looking for the good, the benefit in every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, grateful for what each one brings and happy to be on the journey.
With this I don’t need to know what step to take in two steps’ time or whether I will “succeed” - success is in every step, even when we feel we have taken the “wrong one”, for the wrong one never exists as each is perfect to teach us something new. Even persistently “failing” to learn the lesson is simply a set back that will eventually be corrected in this life or another.
So I am reminded to accept today’s challenges with gratitude, to notice my feelings that are unpleasant and know that there us a reason for them surfacing to be released and thereby empower me in the next step of the journey. Do I find this easy? No! Am I committed to this path and this perspective, however? Oh, yes indeed!
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Nothing to Do But Wait
There’s nothing to do but wait...wait for my cold to get better, wait for the healing I am undergoing to be completed, wait to see what will come of me and my future, the future to which I have surrendered whilst not really knowing of what it will consist.
So, here I am sat in my “pyramid”, my “intergalactic vehicle for redemption”, to supercharge ‘ad infinitum’ and I am bored, not really tempted by the highly rated if somewhat old film that I have been watching. So, instead I turn to my electronic “pad” and start to scribble the words you are now reading. There’s no place to get to, no goal or end, just wherever they take me, a word-based ramble which is pretty much all I am capable of in this mixture of heat, humidity, fatigue and mucus!
I have become quite a patient man really. I obediently do what I am “told”, guided by words and feelings to do nothing but relax and rest for now. Days have past, perpetually tired but with passing moods that flit in briefly and leave as fast as they came to make room for the next one, the next eradication of past unhappiness from the deep recesses of my ageing mind. Yet, I do not complain too much, remarking on the varying states of being but knowing they are unreal and will soon pass, thereby freeing me of concerns about what it all means. I am therefore at liberty to pursue whatever entertainment I can find.
Now almost recovered from my online addiction to social media, I still peek into it frequently but now leave almost as fast, since I can see how trivial it has all become or is it that something is shifting in me, the petty observations and debates, the meaningless statements and assertions, the occasional conflicts and derisions. It all seems such a waste of time but I search still for something to fill the boredom of this temporary state. But why? Why not be contented with the free time and dwell in the moment rather than on dissatisfaction that has the ‘now’ occur as lonely and boring?
There is no reason, except perhaps for false expectations and disappointments, things I set my mind to that may or may not come to fruition. We shall see. It will slowly be unveiled when the time is right and patience is a virtue I have come to admire greatly. In the meantime, let nature take its course with my cold, my moods and my overall well-being, for tomorrow is another day made better by today’s patient acceptance.
So, here I am sat in my “pyramid”, my “intergalactic vehicle for redemption”, to supercharge ‘ad infinitum’ and I am bored, not really tempted by the highly rated if somewhat old film that I have been watching. So, instead I turn to my electronic “pad” and start to scribble the words you are now reading. There’s no place to get to, no goal or end, just wherever they take me, a word-based ramble which is pretty much all I am capable of in this mixture of heat, humidity, fatigue and mucus!
I have become quite a patient man really. I obediently do what I am “told”, guided by words and feelings to do nothing but relax and rest for now. Days have past, perpetually tired but with passing moods that flit in briefly and leave as fast as they came to make room for the next one, the next eradication of past unhappiness from the deep recesses of my ageing mind. Yet, I do not complain too much, remarking on the varying states of being but knowing they are unreal and will soon pass, thereby freeing me of concerns about what it all means. I am therefore at liberty to pursue whatever entertainment I can find.
Now almost recovered from my online addiction to social media, I still peek into it frequently but now leave almost as fast, since I can see how trivial it has all become or is it that something is shifting in me, the petty observations and debates, the meaningless statements and assertions, the occasional conflicts and derisions. It all seems such a waste of time but I search still for something to fill the boredom of this temporary state. But why? Why not be contented with the free time and dwell in the moment rather than on dissatisfaction that has the ‘now’ occur as lonely and boring?
There is no reason, except perhaps for false expectations and disappointments, things I set my mind to that may or may not come to fruition. We shall see. It will slowly be unveiled when the time is right and patience is a virtue I have come to admire greatly. In the meantime, let nature take its course with my cold, my moods and my overall well-being, for tomorrow is another day made better by today’s patient acceptance.
Saturday, 22 October 2011
Occupy “For”, Not “Against”
Having seen a friend’s link to a video entitled, “David Icke - Essential Knowledge For A Wall Street Protestor”, I took the time to listen for once. I am not an avid fan of Mr Icke’s, though he speaks a lot of sense at times, but it just felt right to do so and I must say that I very glad that I did, not because it says much I didn’t know already from him and others but because he succinctly explains what could happen if these valiant, peaceful protests succeed only to be met by the forces behind the current system.
I want to make something very clear: I am not against anything, because being against something is, by definition, negative and I have learned that all negativity breeds more negativity. So, does that mean that we all join hands and sing “Kumbaya” while Rome burns, so to speak? No, decidedly not!
Before I set out what I am for, I want to be clear that there is a distinction between focusing on a negative and beneficial discernment: the former is undesirable since it brings more of the same (negativity) whereas the latter allows us to be aware of what we are up against whilst standing for something positive. It is with discernment in mind that I advocate listening to the video, in order to watch out for ourselves individually and collectively, not to rouse anger and rebellion.
So, what I support is positive evolution of society and mankind by a firm yet peaceful stand for what we want as a collective, not against anything. I stand for:
Power of the individual and the collective
Freedom
Love
Peace
Social justice
And I advocate a stand for this in the face of anything that is less than these things.
I don’t stand for fighting for these things, as that itself is conflict and, therefore, negative. I see a simple image of me stood proudly in public, hand in hand with my fellow humans of equal dedication, saying what we stand for and want and approving only that which meets what we stand for and want and rejecting anything else. Now, once you have seen the video by David Icke, you will see that the protests could indeed be met by solutions that answer the call, solutions that answer stands against certain things. So, for example, to stand up against the banks would appear to be met by greater central regulation and perhaps later a central global bank as anticipated by Mr Icke. Regardless of whether a particular forecast of Mr Icke’s is the actual outcome, it is illustrative of what could happen if we stand against something and not for it.
Instead, we must stand firmly for what we want and what meets those exact broad principles, much as what the founding fathers of the original union of states in North America stood for in the face of the oppression their forebears left behind in Europe. The constitution, before it was tampered with, stood for higher level guiding principles and not for negative controlling laws that have become an ever-increasing mass intelligible only to an elite whose status, often based on manipulation of laws, has lost all public respect.
The simple reality is that we exist and we have power individually and collectively and anything that purports to grants us rights that we have by grace of God (or whatever you choose to call the benevolent universal life force) is a fraud upon the people who have power as a matter of fact: standing firmly but peacefully for what they want can never ultimately be resisted by any self-appointed “authority”. Failure to make such a stand, however, could indeed result in a negative scenario such as the one painted by Mr Icke.
Finally, I say, be not afraid, as fear begets fears; fear begets loss of power; fear empowers those whose values are opposed to what humanity deserves. So, I urge you to beware clarion calls for action against anything and boldly stand for what you want.
I want to make something very clear: I am not against anything, because being against something is, by definition, negative and I have learned that all negativity breeds more negativity. So, does that mean that we all join hands and sing “Kumbaya” while Rome burns, so to speak? No, decidedly not!
Before I set out what I am for, I want to be clear that there is a distinction between focusing on a negative and beneficial discernment: the former is undesirable since it brings more of the same (negativity) whereas the latter allows us to be aware of what we are up against whilst standing for something positive. It is with discernment in mind that I advocate listening to the video, in order to watch out for ourselves individually and collectively, not to rouse anger and rebellion.
So, what I support is positive evolution of society and mankind by a firm yet peaceful stand for what we want as a collective, not against anything. I stand for:
Power of the individual and the collective
Freedom
Love
Peace
Social justice
And I advocate a stand for this in the face of anything that is less than these things.
I don’t stand for fighting for these things, as that itself is conflict and, therefore, negative. I see a simple image of me stood proudly in public, hand in hand with my fellow humans of equal dedication, saying what we stand for and want and approving only that which meets what we stand for and want and rejecting anything else. Now, once you have seen the video by David Icke, you will see that the protests could indeed be met by solutions that answer the call, solutions that answer stands against certain things. So, for example, to stand up against the banks would appear to be met by greater central regulation and perhaps later a central global bank as anticipated by Mr Icke. Regardless of whether a particular forecast of Mr Icke’s is the actual outcome, it is illustrative of what could happen if we stand against something and not for it.
Instead, we must stand firmly for what we want and what meets those exact broad principles, much as what the founding fathers of the original union of states in North America stood for in the face of the oppression their forebears left behind in Europe. The constitution, before it was tampered with, stood for higher level guiding principles and not for negative controlling laws that have become an ever-increasing mass intelligible only to an elite whose status, often based on manipulation of laws, has lost all public respect.
The simple reality is that we exist and we have power individually and collectively and anything that purports to grants us rights that we have by grace of God (or whatever you choose to call the benevolent universal life force) is a fraud upon the people who have power as a matter of fact: standing firmly but peacefully for what they want can never ultimately be resisted by any self-appointed “authority”. Failure to make such a stand, however, could indeed result in a negative scenario such as the one painted by Mr Icke.
Finally, I say, be not afraid, as fear begets fears; fear begets loss of power; fear empowers those whose values are opposed to what humanity deserves. So, I urge you to beware clarion calls for action against anything and boldly stand for what you want.
A Release from the Prison of Right and Wrong
It’s funny how, even in the most surprising places, there lurk lessons and insights that lift our spirit, if we are open to receiving them. Today, a friend had posted what I would describe as the Facebook equivalent of a greetings card, that is a photo with an inspiring caption. Having thanked her for it, she later posted the following in response:
“With your words I feel good. I feel love. (I may not agree with all :^) )
Bless you bro...♥”
What is interesting is that those simple little words in brackets caught my attention and made me ask myself what she could be referring to, what I may have said in the past that she did not agree with. Being “right” was so important to me that it was a little unsettling but I didn’t let this stop me responding and I just went with the flow and was surprised by what came out:
“Thank you. Take, from anything I or anyone says, whatever feels right for you. What is right for me is not necessarily right for you. But I speak a basic truth. There is a difference between truth and right/wrong. In other words, I do not speak of right or wrong and therefore am not right or wrong. I speak only truth, the truth of the heart. This distinction is important and the right/wrong mentality is one born of a dualistic society run on ego. In that world one must be right or otherwise wrong. I no longer operate by those standards and live only according to my truth, so I am now free of the prison of right and wrong. Hooray! LOL!”
And later I added another follow-up post:
“When I wrote that post and I spoke from my heart without conscious involvement or planning and it just felt good and in my case it truly liberated me from being entrapped by worries about being right or wrong - God knows how trapped lawyers are in that little conundrum! The key thing is to speak from the heart. If we then extrapolate things from the experiences, they are interpretations and those may or may not be accurate but the experience itself cannot be right or wrong, it just IS, as long as the expression of it is words is at least reasonably close to accurate from a heart perspective.”
I find this exchange fascinating, for in it lies the realisation of how much we live in a world of right and wrong and that such a perspective is not real. It assumes things are black and white rather than a wonderful rainbow of truths and a black hole of falsehoods.
The realisation itself, the fresh awareness it brought to me, set me free and all discomfort left me. It also teaches me only to teach by example and leave others to choose those parts that feel right for them and discard the rest; also, to learn by experience and what resonates as right for me rather than what others tells me to think. Imagine if we were taught at school in such an empowering fashion, not filled with someone else’s interpretation of “facts” that become distorted according to the acceptable paradigm of the day: put another way, education is largely a lie, a process of brainwashing people into “acceptable” behaviours and beliefs.
Free of this process, we are at liberty to explore the universe at a whole new level, a level that expresses our true selves and expands it within what feels right for us and not according to what is acceptable to others. Thus the lid comes off the box and we can explode with creativity and confidence in who we are without the need for approval by others. How wonderful would it be for that to become the norm, the way we are trained to be! What wonders would mankind henceforth be able to perform!
“With your words I feel good. I feel love. (I may not agree with all :^) )
Bless you bro...♥”
What is interesting is that those simple little words in brackets caught my attention and made me ask myself what she could be referring to, what I may have said in the past that she did not agree with. Being “right” was so important to me that it was a little unsettling but I didn’t let this stop me responding and I just went with the flow and was surprised by what came out:
“Thank you. Take, from anything I or anyone says, whatever feels right for you. What is right for me is not necessarily right for you. But I speak a basic truth. There is a difference between truth and right/wrong. In other words, I do not speak of right or wrong and therefore am not right or wrong. I speak only truth, the truth of the heart. This distinction is important and the right/wrong mentality is one born of a dualistic society run on ego. In that world one must be right or otherwise wrong. I no longer operate by those standards and live only according to my truth, so I am now free of the prison of right and wrong. Hooray! LOL!”
And later I added another follow-up post:
“When I wrote that post and I spoke from my heart without conscious involvement or planning and it just felt good and in my case it truly liberated me from being entrapped by worries about being right or wrong - God knows how trapped lawyers are in that little conundrum! The key thing is to speak from the heart. If we then extrapolate things from the experiences, they are interpretations and those may or may not be accurate but the experience itself cannot be right or wrong, it just IS, as long as the expression of it is words is at least reasonably close to accurate from a heart perspective.”
I find this exchange fascinating, for in it lies the realisation of how much we live in a world of right and wrong and that such a perspective is not real. It assumes things are black and white rather than a wonderful rainbow of truths and a black hole of falsehoods.
The realisation itself, the fresh awareness it brought to me, set me free and all discomfort left me. It also teaches me only to teach by example and leave others to choose those parts that feel right for them and discard the rest; also, to learn by experience and what resonates as right for me rather than what others tells me to think. Imagine if we were taught at school in such an empowering fashion, not filled with someone else’s interpretation of “facts” that become distorted according to the acceptable paradigm of the day: put another way, education is largely a lie, a process of brainwashing people into “acceptable” behaviours and beliefs.
Free of this process, we are at liberty to explore the universe at a whole new level, a level that expresses our true selves and expands it within what feels right for us and not according to what is acceptable to others. Thus the lid comes off the box and we can explode with creativity and confidence in who we are without the need for approval by others. How wonderful would it be for that to become the norm, the way we are trained to be! What wonders would mankind henceforth be able to perform!
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Lessons in Aloofness
I want to share this email to a friend that contains a succinct summary of today's lessons for me on aloofness:
Hello sweetie.
I was feeling a little void today - all the rain and no major developments on the surface, not sure how to react to certain things including expressing opinions, supporting causes, etc. But then on the way back from [the supermarket] later I saw that what is being asked of me is not to get involved in things of this world, political, moral or otherwise, to stand aloof, to be in this world and not of it, to extricate myself from participation and with it came a peace, a strong wisdom.
I have since ventured into grey areas and this is fine since I then explore boundaries. But this is about mental discipline and not allowing the issues of this world to drag me down. It does not mean to condone behaviour and for others it may be OK to make stands for things but I must remain neutral and speak my truth and nothing more. I immediately removed a protest entry on FB about what my friend called state sanctioned murder (execution of an innocent man). I can stand for love but not against anything. I think this succinctly sums up what is asked of me and now I understand and am happy. It is not to give up on justice but to stand for it from on high, to manifest it from non-engagement because the engagement carries a serious risk of taking it out, of causing it to fail: it is just one step removed from anger and then loss.
I said to you earlier that the illness aspect of the anger was a new perspective but it isn’t really, just in this context, I haven’t seen it in action - but now I see that there is no difference between anger at a known individual from anger at some nameless entity who has let the road prematurely stripped road surface remain untreated and therefore dangerous or at some company whose unilateral change in terms literally steals from me. Every person involved in either situation is, I know, much more than this (individually and collectively) and as such is no better or worse than me at their true core. They deserve my love, compassion and forgiveness so that they too may find the light, not my anger, my “righteous indignation” that denies them everything and locks them up in judgment.
I wanted to share this with you, since I have struggled in the last 24 hours to see what is my lesson: now it is abundantly clear and very wonderful.
Love
Maitland
Hello sweetie.
I was feeling a little void today - all the rain and no major developments on the surface, not sure how to react to certain things including expressing opinions, supporting causes, etc. But then on the way back from [the supermarket] later I saw that what is being asked of me is not to get involved in things of this world, political, moral or otherwise, to stand aloof, to be in this world and not of it, to extricate myself from participation and with it came a peace, a strong wisdom.
I have since ventured into grey areas and this is fine since I then explore boundaries. But this is about mental discipline and not allowing the issues of this world to drag me down. It does not mean to condone behaviour and for others it may be OK to make stands for things but I must remain neutral and speak my truth and nothing more. I immediately removed a protest entry on FB about what my friend called state sanctioned murder (execution of an innocent man). I can stand for love but not against anything. I think this succinctly sums up what is asked of me and now I understand and am happy. It is not to give up on justice but to stand for it from on high, to manifest it from non-engagement because the engagement carries a serious risk of taking it out, of causing it to fail: it is just one step removed from anger and then loss.
I said to you earlier that the illness aspect of the anger was a new perspective but it isn’t really, just in this context, I haven’t seen it in action - but now I see that there is no difference between anger at a known individual from anger at some nameless entity who has let the road prematurely stripped road surface remain untreated and therefore dangerous or at some company whose unilateral change in terms literally steals from me. Every person involved in either situation is, I know, much more than this (individually and collectively) and as such is no better or worse than me at their true core. They deserve my love, compassion and forgiveness so that they too may find the light, not my anger, my “righteous indignation” that denies them everything and locks them up in judgment.
I wanted to share this with you, since I have struggled in the last 24 hours to see what is my lesson: now it is abundantly clear and very wonderful.
Love
Maitland
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Dawning of a New Awareness
I woke up at 5:45am this morning, a little earlier than usual and I lay there in the half light of the pre-dawn contemplating how, as I attune myself more and more with nature and the universe, my body also comes into line, feeling the disharmony of some of what I do like drinking beer and so on.
Anyway, within a few minutes my lovely dog, Lucky, had registered that I was awake (presumably noticing the shift if the sound of my breathing) and jumped onto the bed with his usual rush of intensely imploring licks, indicating a strong desire to relieve himself! I “fought him off” for 5 minutes or so, telling him “walkies” would follow shortly and commanding him in Thai, “Norn” (“lie down”) but he did so for less than a minute before going through the whole routine again and I think it was the beginning of the 3rd round when I finally surrendered to the inevitability of the forthcoming walk and got up.
Attending briefly to my own personal needs before leaving so that I was free to devote this time to him in comfort, I soon had his lead on him and was marching out the door into the beautiful cool air of the pre-dawn period some 10 minutes before sunrise. And what a beautiful morning it was (and is) too. Largely a blue sky, wisps of cloud streaked across the dawning blue expanse before me, a few huddles of cotton-wool-like clouds as well. As I came with Lucky to the end of our side-street in our “moo baan” (private housing estate) I chose to turn left and so indicated to Lucky by a gently pull on his lead as I wanted to see the beautiful canvas that the pre-dawn sky now presented before me. I love clouds. I mean I really love clouds. They are somehow heavenly, otherworldly, and lift my attention from the mundane to the sublime.
So, as I made my way towards the back of the “moo baan” on its east facing border, slowly but surely the sun burst forth in a splash of golds on the horizon, nearly blinding me as I persisted in soaking it up in its fullest glory! Lucky did his usual business, pottering about oblivious to the delights of my world as he sniffed and marked his territory, having given up attempts to force me to turn back to face his mortal enemy, the large dog who lives opposite who roams free, wreaking havoc on all dogs who dare to invade his domain.
This fleeting display of the dawning sun now complete, I led Lucky back in the other direction so that he could enjoy a fuller expression of his “doggy needs” and we went out, past the central island that greets visitors to our “moo baan” with the large golden statue of the Hindu god, Ganesh, and made our way out of the estate and down the hill past a garden centre and onto the main road that curves away from us to the north-west and in the distance I saw the mottled horizon of the numerous “karsts”, the large 300 million year-old limestone formations that once formed part of the world’s largest coral reef that is now much of South East Asia. Lit up by the sun, they looked stunning and I was totally alive to the wonders of nature, even in this otherwise somewhat bland immediate vicinity amidst ugly concrete constructions that sadly replaced the traditional wooden houses when wood became more scarce and concrete the cheaper option for building.
By this time I was feeling on cloud nine (cloud nine being that fluffy little number on the horizon that I mentioned earlier!): there I was in the cool morning sunshine, watching the beauty that is so abundant in Krabi, catching glimpses of the early morning dew in the short time before it evaporates, since the sun burns off all water so fast this near to the Equator, noticing its refreshing sparkles that quenches the thirst of the plants it blesses with its life-giving night-time blanket of moisture and how, in places, it reflects light so as to look like frost, yet the temperature is far too high at some 23-24 degrees Celsius for it possibly to be ice.
In this heavenly state of being, I felt at one with my surroundings, so happy to be alive and to live here in my new home country, Thailand, so grateful for its generous supply of natural beauty and comfortable climate. Attuned to nature in this way, and increasingly to my true self that is so at home in nature, I felt such intense joy, such deep happiness without a care in the world, a state of mind I find myself blessed to enjoy as the norm these days.
While Lucky was in his element, no doubt delighted that his impatient pulling to go in new directions had been successful, I turned my thoughts to what I had been contemplating so early on in bed, how my attuning or aligning with nature and my true self in this way was bringing me to new awareness and a prospect of new health and vitality; I could rally feel it, not just have it as some vague notion or concept. As a result of some fairly dramatic shifts in the last fortnight in my feelings about life and the people I know and don’t know, I have come to such a place of love and gratitude which feels sublime at the deepest possible level and I can feel my body’s reaction to such resonance with all that is, telling me that it is no longer comfortable with that which I had soothed up my inner aching, the beers at night, the early morning coffee one could stand a spoon in, the excesses of sugary delights and so on.
The dulling of the senses by these means was becoming unnecessary and I contemplated the prospect, indeed the probability, that as I march on and further attune myself to my true self, my natural self, when my new work begins next month, I can realistically anticipate that my body will reach new levels of vigour, of youthful balance and eventually fitness with the least of effort, because that, I realise, is our natural state when properly and finely tuned like a winning Formula One engine purring gently before the race.
Anyway, within a few minutes my lovely dog, Lucky, had registered that I was awake (presumably noticing the shift if the sound of my breathing) and jumped onto the bed with his usual rush of intensely imploring licks, indicating a strong desire to relieve himself! I “fought him off” for 5 minutes or so, telling him “walkies” would follow shortly and commanding him in Thai, “Norn” (“lie down”) but he did so for less than a minute before going through the whole routine again and I think it was the beginning of the 3rd round when I finally surrendered to the inevitability of the forthcoming walk and got up.
Attending briefly to my own personal needs before leaving so that I was free to devote this time to him in comfort, I soon had his lead on him and was marching out the door into the beautiful cool air of the pre-dawn period some 10 minutes before sunrise. And what a beautiful morning it was (and is) too. Largely a blue sky, wisps of cloud streaked across the dawning blue expanse before me, a few huddles of cotton-wool-like clouds as well. As I came with Lucky to the end of our side-street in our “moo baan” (private housing estate) I chose to turn left and so indicated to Lucky by a gently pull on his lead as I wanted to see the beautiful canvas that the pre-dawn sky now presented before me. I love clouds. I mean I really love clouds. They are somehow heavenly, otherworldly, and lift my attention from the mundane to the sublime.
So, as I made my way towards the back of the “moo baan” on its east facing border, slowly but surely the sun burst forth in a splash of golds on the horizon, nearly blinding me as I persisted in soaking it up in its fullest glory! Lucky did his usual business, pottering about oblivious to the delights of my world as he sniffed and marked his territory, having given up attempts to force me to turn back to face his mortal enemy, the large dog who lives opposite who roams free, wreaking havoc on all dogs who dare to invade his domain.
This fleeting display of the dawning sun now complete, I led Lucky back in the other direction so that he could enjoy a fuller expression of his “doggy needs” and we went out, past the central island that greets visitors to our “moo baan” with the large golden statue of the Hindu god, Ganesh, and made our way out of the estate and down the hill past a garden centre and onto the main road that curves away from us to the north-west and in the distance I saw the mottled horizon of the numerous “karsts”, the large 300 million year-old limestone formations that once formed part of the world’s largest coral reef that is now much of South East Asia. Lit up by the sun, they looked stunning and I was totally alive to the wonders of nature, even in this otherwise somewhat bland immediate vicinity amidst ugly concrete constructions that sadly replaced the traditional wooden houses when wood became more scarce and concrete the cheaper option for building.
By this time I was feeling on cloud nine (cloud nine being that fluffy little number on the horizon that I mentioned earlier!): there I was in the cool morning sunshine, watching the beauty that is so abundant in Krabi, catching glimpses of the early morning dew in the short time before it evaporates, since the sun burns off all water so fast this near to the Equator, noticing its refreshing sparkles that quenches the thirst of the plants it blesses with its life-giving night-time blanket of moisture and how, in places, it reflects light so as to look like frost, yet the temperature is far too high at some 23-24 degrees Celsius for it possibly to be ice.
In this heavenly state of being, I felt at one with my surroundings, so happy to be alive and to live here in my new home country, Thailand, so grateful for its generous supply of natural beauty and comfortable climate. Attuned to nature in this way, and increasingly to my true self that is so at home in nature, I felt such intense joy, such deep happiness without a care in the world, a state of mind I find myself blessed to enjoy as the norm these days.
While Lucky was in his element, no doubt delighted that his impatient pulling to go in new directions had been successful, I turned my thoughts to what I had been contemplating so early on in bed, how my attuning or aligning with nature and my true self in this way was bringing me to new awareness and a prospect of new health and vitality; I could rally feel it, not just have it as some vague notion or concept. As a result of some fairly dramatic shifts in the last fortnight in my feelings about life and the people I know and don’t know, I have come to such a place of love and gratitude which feels sublime at the deepest possible level and I can feel my body’s reaction to such resonance with all that is, telling me that it is no longer comfortable with that which I had soothed up my inner aching, the beers at night, the early morning coffee one could stand a spoon in, the excesses of sugary delights and so on.
The dulling of the senses by these means was becoming unnecessary and I contemplated the prospect, indeed the probability, that as I march on and further attune myself to my true self, my natural self, when my new work begins next month, I can realistically anticipate that my body will reach new levels of vigour, of youthful balance and eventually fitness with the least of effort, because that, I realise, is our natural state when properly and finely tuned like a winning Formula One engine purring gently before the race.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Virtuous Circle of Love
I have had the most beautiful morning of contemplation, relaxation and love! I was tired, having risen early to walk my dog desperate for immediate relief and had therefore taken a nap late morning. As I came downstairs with Lucky after my nap and put him down on the sofa next to where my partner too was snoozing, he snuggled in beside him to join him. I was touched by how much love he has to give and what pleasure he gets from showing his love by his snuggling close. He is such a deeply loving dog and as I made my way back upstairs to return to my contemplations in what you could describe as my meditation room, I was filled with warmth at this loving scene between two of the most important creatures in my life.
I went in armed with my laptop and once sat in my meditation pyramid, I saw a message a recent friend had sent me asking for loving prayers as she had been having a tough few days. Then, as I sent the following reply that felt relevant to give, I felt such love for her, this new friend who I know is on a sincere journey if self discovery herself:
“Aw, darling, I am sorry to hear that. I have indeed sent you loving energy to help you heal whatever it is you are healing at present - in times of healing it can feel worse than before, as things surface before finally leaving our energy field. Try not to despair or attach any meaning to it or to analyse it because nothing is wrong. I went through months of this just on one subject and through years of it in fact on and off, so I am now well acquainted with thee process. The good news is that in these times, it is all speeding up and healing so much quicker than before, so it will not last. Nurture yourself, follow your feelings - if you feel like sleeping, sleep; if you feel like eating, eat and don't worry about your weight, because right now it is more important to heal and to nurture yourself through it. Bless you darling, for ultimately all this is great news. Love, Maitland”.
I was so full of love by this time that another thought occurred to me to express to her to soothe her pain and help her along the way, so I sent her this too:
“By the way, there were many times I felt so bad, I felt I had taken several major steps back into darkness but these were just part of the process, so if you ever feel that way, remember my words: you never step backwards once you have chosen this path of self discovery and renewal as you have. Love to you sister X, Maitland”
By now full of love in my heart, something strange but wonderful happened, people who had hurt me so much in the past, people who had lied, cheated, betrayed and rejected me suddenly and unexpectedly came to mind, yet as I saw each one, each of whom I had already forgiven in order to free my soul from anger and resentment, I felt love for them: I felt I could have hugged each and every one if they had with me then. A step beyond forgiveness and compassion, this pure, unconditional love seemed to radiate from my chest, so powerful it was almost tangible; it is no exaggeration to say I felt it pouring from my heart and in its wake I felt a peace and calm euphoria, taking the healing of my own heart in forgiveness to yet another level altogether.
This upward spiral of loving energy, this virtuous circle of love that started with my gorgeous Lucky lifted my whole being and as I reflected on it, the words that came to me were, “This is who you really are” and I felt a profound peace and gratitude for all that had led me here including the injuries perpetrated upon me by those souls who I now saw for who they really are; that love that came from knowing who they are at heart and from a desire that they too find themselves as I have been blessed to do.
I went in armed with my laptop and once sat in my meditation pyramid, I saw a message a recent friend had sent me asking for loving prayers as she had been having a tough few days. Then, as I sent the following reply that felt relevant to give, I felt such love for her, this new friend who I know is on a sincere journey if self discovery herself:
“Aw, darling, I am sorry to hear that. I have indeed sent you loving energy to help you heal whatever it is you are healing at present - in times of healing it can feel worse than before, as things surface before finally leaving our energy field. Try not to despair or attach any meaning to it or to analyse it because nothing is wrong. I went through months of this just on one subject and through years of it in fact on and off, so I am now well acquainted with thee process. The good news is that in these times, it is all speeding up and healing so much quicker than before, so it will not last. Nurture yourself, follow your feelings - if you feel like sleeping, sleep; if you feel like eating, eat and don't worry about your weight, because right now it is more important to heal and to nurture yourself through it. Bless you darling, for ultimately all this is great news. Love, Maitland”.
I was so full of love by this time that another thought occurred to me to express to her to soothe her pain and help her along the way, so I sent her this too:
“By the way, there were many times I felt so bad, I felt I had taken several major steps back into darkness but these were just part of the process, so if you ever feel that way, remember my words: you never step backwards once you have chosen this path of self discovery and renewal as you have. Love to you sister X, Maitland”
By now full of love in my heart, something strange but wonderful happened, people who had hurt me so much in the past, people who had lied, cheated, betrayed and rejected me suddenly and unexpectedly came to mind, yet as I saw each one, each of whom I had already forgiven in order to free my soul from anger and resentment, I felt love for them: I felt I could have hugged each and every one if they had with me then. A step beyond forgiveness and compassion, this pure, unconditional love seemed to radiate from my chest, so powerful it was almost tangible; it is no exaggeration to say I felt it pouring from my heart and in its wake I felt a peace and calm euphoria, taking the healing of my own heart in forgiveness to yet another level altogether.
This upward spiral of loving energy, this virtuous circle of love that started with my gorgeous Lucky lifted my whole being and as I reflected on it, the words that came to me were, “This is who you really are” and I felt a profound peace and gratitude for all that had led me here including the injuries perpetrated upon me by those souls who I now saw for who they really are; that love that came from knowing who they are at heart and from a desire that they too find themselves as I have been blessed to do.
Friday, 2 September 2011
Coming to Ramadan
It’s interesting but I have been aware of Ramadan and its practices of personal sacrifice to show devotion to Allah since about 1983 when my sister fell in love and eventually married and Egyptian man but I have never really understood it in all its depth and purpose. Of course I understood its purpose superficially but not deep down, deep inside me. But now I do.
I am not a Muslim and have no desire to follow any specific religion but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect their values and practices or at least some of them. I live in a region of Thailand where Muslims make up over 30% of the population and will soon move to an island where the vast majority are Muslim and though there are problems between the Buddhist and Muslim communities nearer to the Malay border, the region formerly part of Malaysia until my country did a deal and carved it up many years ago, generally the communities live together in harmony.
As a man committed to world peace and mankind unified as a single whole, respecting the views of others, the rich diversity of mankind on earth, is vital. So, my opening to the richness of the Ramadan duties is particularly welcome.
I am no expert on Ramadan despite the family connection and the close proximity of so many of the faith of Islam, but I recall that during this period, Muslims are expected to show devotion by doing without drink of any kind (including water) and food during daylight hours and throughout the entire period to avoid physical contact (sex and even kissing or hugging) and alcohol (the latter being prohibited altogether for some of the faith). How it occurred to me before was as an obligation with more suffering than merit, especially for Muslim in Northern Europe where the daylight hours if Ramadan falls in summer are so long it is sheer torture.
But in recent years of my own hardships I have had to scrape by, though never once have I gone hungry, and I have been aware for some years that I am likely to earn large sums of money in the end and will be free to have anything material I may want, but the effect of the hardships has not been to drive me to want all those things and shower myself in possessions and excesses of food and drink.
Though I will undoubtedly have much of what I want if I am right about my future, I actually enjoy the restraint, the need to “make do” and be grateful for what I have. In fact, I am going through such a period right now and it is remarkable how well I can now “make do” and I am happy for it because it sharpens my sensitivity to the issue and above all it heightens my gratitude for what I have. And it is in this that lies the core of the benefit of Ramadan, to show devotion and gratitude and not to take for granted. That I have food and drink is at Allah’s grace and something I still too often forget, especially when money becomes tight, yet I am so blessed, so provided for that never once have I gone hungry even though there are many who do. It would be a “dis-grace” not to appreciate what Allah provides for me so loyally if I keep my faith. I don’t have anything as of right but only by His/Her loving grace.
Thank you Allah. Allah is indeed great!
I am not a Muslim and have no desire to follow any specific religion but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect their values and practices or at least some of them. I live in a region of Thailand where Muslims make up over 30% of the population and will soon move to an island where the vast majority are Muslim and though there are problems between the Buddhist and Muslim communities nearer to the Malay border, the region formerly part of Malaysia until my country did a deal and carved it up many years ago, generally the communities live together in harmony.
As a man committed to world peace and mankind unified as a single whole, respecting the views of others, the rich diversity of mankind on earth, is vital. So, my opening to the richness of the Ramadan duties is particularly welcome.
I am no expert on Ramadan despite the family connection and the close proximity of so many of the faith of Islam, but I recall that during this period, Muslims are expected to show devotion by doing without drink of any kind (including water) and food during daylight hours and throughout the entire period to avoid physical contact (sex and even kissing or hugging) and alcohol (the latter being prohibited altogether for some of the faith). How it occurred to me before was as an obligation with more suffering than merit, especially for Muslim in Northern Europe where the daylight hours if Ramadan falls in summer are so long it is sheer torture.
But in recent years of my own hardships I have had to scrape by, though never once have I gone hungry, and I have been aware for some years that I am likely to earn large sums of money in the end and will be free to have anything material I may want, but the effect of the hardships has not been to drive me to want all those things and shower myself in possessions and excesses of food and drink.
Though I will undoubtedly have much of what I want if I am right about my future, I actually enjoy the restraint, the need to “make do” and be grateful for what I have. In fact, I am going through such a period right now and it is remarkable how well I can now “make do” and I am happy for it because it sharpens my sensitivity to the issue and above all it heightens my gratitude for what I have. And it is in this that lies the core of the benefit of Ramadan, to show devotion and gratitude and not to take for granted. That I have food and drink is at Allah’s grace and something I still too often forget, especially when money becomes tight, yet I am so blessed, so provided for that never once have I gone hungry even though there are many who do. It would be a “dis-grace” not to appreciate what Allah provides for me so loyally if I keep my faith. I don’t have anything as of right but only by His/Her loving grace.
Thank you Allah. Allah is indeed great!
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
The Gift of Unbounded Patience
In the silence of the space between internet access periods, I find myself drawn to write once more. I haven’t done it in a while, just going with the flow with no particular point to make or place to go. Here I am sat in a pyramid, a haven of support for me at this critical time in my life and I feel comfortable, at home, as if to leave to resume connection with friends online would uproot me inappropriately so I won’t and will instead forego the delights of conversations with friends for the alternative delights of writing something simple from my heart.
I miss this, taking time aside to write down whatever comes into my mind, to search beneath the surface and see what transpires. With nothing in mind, I came to this and found myself not wanting, as one word followed after the next without plan or foresight. With it will begin an incandescence born of my hearts passionate desire for expression. The fury of missed opportunities for fulfilment has long since waned and in its place a singular determination not to let life pass by a moment longer without expressing myself clearly so that others too may find what I have, the freedom to be myself and the ability to make a difference.
Here again I find myself at odds with life in that I wait patiently until the detail of my new work has erupted in a frenzy so that I may then get on with what I have dreamt of for so long, the chance to reach into people’s hearts and show them who they really are. Give me the strength, the patience and ardour to carry on regardless of delays and unsupported expectations that carry within them the seeds of disaster.
In my heart I know I will not fail but in my mind I sometimes nurture doubts born of life’s past affronts that no longer have meaning but as a distant memory. You see, in my heart I know everything is there already, waiting behind closed curtains to emerge onto the stage of life and burst into euphoric song. Not long now, I sense, no point in looking behind the curtain to check and see everything is alright; better to wait and see what will emerge to surprise and delight the audience that is me and all in sundry. Much as I crave this new work and the new me with it, I am content to wait because the gift of patience knows no bounds and with it nor will I!
I miss this, taking time aside to write down whatever comes into my mind, to search beneath the surface and see what transpires. With nothing in mind, I came to this and found myself not wanting, as one word followed after the next without plan or foresight. With it will begin an incandescence born of my hearts passionate desire for expression. The fury of missed opportunities for fulfilment has long since waned and in its place a singular determination not to let life pass by a moment longer without expressing myself clearly so that others too may find what I have, the freedom to be myself and the ability to make a difference.
Here again I find myself at odds with life in that I wait patiently until the detail of my new work has erupted in a frenzy so that I may then get on with what I have dreamt of for so long, the chance to reach into people’s hearts and show them who they really are. Give me the strength, the patience and ardour to carry on regardless of delays and unsupported expectations that carry within them the seeds of disaster.
In my heart I know I will not fail but in my mind I sometimes nurture doubts born of life’s past affronts that no longer have meaning but as a distant memory. You see, in my heart I know everything is there already, waiting behind closed curtains to emerge onto the stage of life and burst into euphoric song. Not long now, I sense, no point in looking behind the curtain to check and see everything is alright; better to wait and see what will emerge to surprise and delight the audience that is me and all in sundry. Much as I crave this new work and the new me with it, I am content to wait because the gift of patience knows no bounds and with it nor will I!
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