Who Am I?

I wrote this piece a short while after doing some personal development work in the UK that was based on the thinking behind Zen Buddhism and focuses on what actually happened in our past contrasted with what we made it mean about us and now take as "true". It is very liberating to find we are not the things we thing we are: the ego is built up of many such decisions - they are the young mind's attempt to work out who we are by looking at how people treat and react to us. Not only has it nothing to do with us therefore, but worse still, we usually get it wrong because we don't usually know what other people are really thinking and so we make it all up! So it is that in stripping such things away, we find freedom, inner peace and happiness like never before.

The piece in verse format reads:

Who Am I?

Who am I?
All my life I have been who you say I am;
Or rather, who I believe you say I am.

Like the weeds at the bottom of the river
Pulled to and fro by changing currents,
Thrown against the rocks
And choked by silt and pollution.
As I grew older, the “me” that I was bent this way and that
But never stood firm and confident.
The “who I am” started as a blank canvas
That in time was filled with soft oils that set hard.

But now restored to my former potential,
Who am I in my midlife years?
I am who and what ever I say I am,
Whatever I commit to being, I am
And suddenly I am unbounded;
No longer anchored to the river bed
But flowing free in whatever direction I choose.

The canvas is now a mass of vivid colours
And yet there is space for still more of me
As one area fills, another becomes blank
And who I am now is glorious,
A celebration of life and freedom;
An inspiration to the weeds that still cling fiercely to the rocks;
A powerful presence that provides firm guidance
And offers hope for peace and harmony where before there was conflict.
And that is who I am.