Pondering Being Judgment-Free

If I am to stand before untold variations of characters, eventually in great numbers, and both speak and exude that each of them can be, do and have anything they desire, that truly anything is possible, I must have virtually no vestige of judgment, doubt or incredulity, no matter who they are and what their circumstances may be.

From this I deduce that I have yet a long way to go! At this stage I have become conscious of the matter more as a challenge than a resolution, more as an intellectual idea that a heart-felt way of being. Yet, as I cycled around the city today, I briefly looked at some people passing by who were quite ordinary with no particular “pull” or attraction to me, either physical or emotional, people who, in ordinary circumstances, I would probably only encounter briefly at best, whose daily lives probably have little in common with mine other than basic functions and needs and, suddenly, it hit me for just a second how profoundly sad it is that if judgments are removed and the basic commonality and great potential is accepted wholeheartedly, how crushing it is that they may never find their true selves in this life and fulfil the beauty and greatness within them.

This level of consciousness is too hard to bear for long and my mind swiftly retreats to a safer position of numbness that I may once more function rather than succumb to the overwhelming, heart-rending sadness that would pour forth choked tears in too humiliating a fashion.

Back then to the veil of reality that, though sad, hides the pain yet is suffering. But now I know this: I am not as far as I thought from both speaking and exuding that anything is possible for those who dare believe. I need merely re-connect with that pain, just briefly, let go of any nagging doubts born of ignorance and trust in the Source of all things, for only It knows what great things are possible and are but a tiptoe away in the infinite possibility that is life.

A Tantrum Observed

For a long time I wrote very little, while other things took place, lessons were learnt. For some reason I was not in the mood to write it down. I missed it as it makes my day when I write a piece, no matter how short it may be. Later I was busy working on my book and that took up weeks, only to go on ice while I soak up still more experiences to give substance to the book which is very much experiential non-fiction and so cannot simply be researched and run off quickly.

A Tantrum Observed

I start with these words, hoping to trigger something profound from within to lift my spirit and engage me. Lost, with nothing to do other than wander and fill my time with inconsequential things, I let my mind do the wandering now I am sat here, iced coffee in hand.

There’s no forcing things to do and, as my ego throws a tantrum and fidgets at its immense discomfort at the void, I seek the grounding solace of trees to contain my unsettled mind. The frustration it betrays flows from its annoyance at its lack of control, its utter powerlessness, attempting to force action and conclusions from its disquieting dilemmas. It jumps back and forth, resisting surrender and the acceptance of the truth, like a spoilt child that never grows up, a sort of ugly Peter Pan.

But, as it fights, I can now observe its struggle for what it is and thereby transcend the meaningless resistance, watching its powerless flailings fade away bit by bit and in its place a tender, loving state of inner peace slowly ensues and once again the sun begins to shine inside my heart and from there to a myriad different places.

Perfection now surrounds me, inside and out, the perfection in nature, in life, in everything, apparent flaws being nothing more than fleeting aspects of an ever-changing, wonderful universe.