Sunday, 24 April 2011

All the Silly Doubts

Amidst the challenges of waiting for past suffering to leave me and clear the way for my true role in life, I doubt myself so often and frequently feel the pain of past rejections and put-downs, yet it took a friend who reached out to me in fear and frustration to open my eyes to the real me whom I need never have these silly doubts, for deep down and beyond the illusory Maitland, the ego-personality version of Maitland, is this, an uncanny gift to both my friend and myself all at once that comes from trusting myself to say precisely what someone needs to hear without even realising it...

Hi Maitland,
 
I feel like I’m falling hard for [John Doe] – and I’m scared. I’ve been meditating on opening my heart throughout the day – and each time I do It feels like he’s wrapping love around me.
I’m practicing being open to receive but what if all of this is in my head. I know I’m supposed to just let go and trust and yet I really don’t want to spoil [our] relationship if all of this is just a fantasy.
The more I open my heart and receive the less control I have over how deeply I want him – not emotionally but like a heart connection.
I think I’m going crazy – and I can see you grinning and laughing as you read this. Of course I know the answer and soon I’ll be in so deep I’ll be a lost cause...shit I’m falling in love!
 
Sorry for the rant – I’m sure it will amuse you!
 
Happy Easter
 
Love
 
[Anon]

Hi [Anon]

No I didn't laugh either literally or in my heart. I felt a mixture of concern and the very gentlest form of amusement, not laughter but more love and compassion.

I am pleased you have opened yourself up and I get that this is scary for you. Now you are open to it and allow yourself to feel for him, the very normal and human fear or rejection kicks in. I don't know what is best for you to do right now but if you would just breathe, I am confident that you would know. My request is that you stand back from yourself and see yourself as I see you now, with a loving heart and with compassion for your reaction and focus on the love, for yourself for now, fill yourself with love for the girl who has been so hurt that, now open to love, she is terrified. Really focus on it (and as I type hairs are standing up on my aims) and be that love for yourself and all else will flow from this. You need nothing more. Don't think, just do this and then relax and again don't think. Let feelings come and let actions flow when and only when they feel right as always. Be love, be love, be love. How can he resist that?!

Love

Maitland

Thank you so much Maitland. You’ve got me in tears again J

I’m being and feeling love and letting go of the thoughts. I hadn’t really acknowledged the fear of being hurt or really how deeply I had been hurt. I mean I knew, but I hadn’t acknowledged it.

Thanks you so much for this Maitland. I wish I could hug you with all my love right now. Feel it anyway J
 
Love

[Anon]

Sunday, 17 April 2011

My Real Motivation

In tonight’s meditation I had a conversation with God, Allah, the Universal Consciousness, the One, the Source of All Things and in this conversation I first asked for what wisdom it might wish to impart to soothe my temporary suffering as I shed the past and free myself of its shackles.

And it replied simply that anything I can conceive will be mine and not to trouble myself with fears from the past. So it led me to describe to it exactly what it is I want for myself. Far from all the things I may “own” as part of my journey, beyond recognition for my work I saw the real me, the real motivations for my life and they are these: to see mankind develop so far beyond the 3rd dimensional paradigm that anything is possible. Even ambitions for a car have little meaning: if I must use transport it I want it to be durable and hovering, maybe even flying, and not damaging to Mother Earth in any way but then I saw that I really wish to fly - not astral travel of my spirit but actually teleporting by thought as well as the ability to manifest on demand, to put out my hand and have before me the delicious orange of my mind’s eye. I saw that I wanted to experience these things, not just observe them from spirit after my departure from this realm. I saw that I wanted a home as a beautiful haven, an example of man and nature in harmony, to witness the sunrises, the sunsets, the rain pouring down, natural beauty in all its forms, but not to show off or create a mini empire of wealth.

These are the things that ignite my soul and give me a reason to live, not the outward manifestations of success that so marked my past aspirations born of fear of being worthless. When there is no fear, anything becomes possible, or, as God said in my meditation, anything that you can conceive and believe in shall be yours in time. Why waste such awesome power with mere material possessions? So much better to strive for experiences that lift the soul beyond the stars.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Goodbye to Expectations

While I go through this protracted period of "cleansing" I am rarely inspired to write, though I miss it a great deal. Last night, after meditation and during much needed reflection these words came to me:

"Expectations harness the soul and do not expand it: have no expectation of yourself; simply be free and do whatever comes to mind and do whatever feels right for YOU. There is NO other rule by which to lead your life. Put simply, follow your heart always."