All the Silly Doubts

Amidst the challenges of waiting for past suffering to leave me and clear the way for my true role in life, I doubt myself so often and frequently feel the pain of past rejections and put-downs, yet it took a friend who reached out to me in fear and frustration to open my eyes to the real me whom I need never have these silly doubts, for deep down and beyond the illusory Maitland, the ego-personality version of Maitland, is this, an uncanny gift to both my friend and myself all at once that comes from trusting myself to say precisely what someone needs to hear without even realising it...

Hi Maitland,
 
I feel like I’m falling hard for [John Doe] – and I’m scared. I’ve been meditating on opening my heart throughout the day – and each time I do It feels like he’s wrapping love around me.
I’m practicing being open to receive but what if all of this is in my head. I know I’m supposed to just let go and trust and yet I really don’t want to spoil [our] relationship if all of this is just a fantasy.
The more I open my heart and receive the less control I have over how deeply I want him – not emotionally but like a heart connection.
I think I’m going crazy – and I can see you grinning and laughing as you read this. Of course I know the answer and soon I’ll be in so deep I’ll be a lost cause...shit I’m falling in love!
 
Sorry for the rant – I’m sure it will amuse you!
 
Happy Easter
 
Love
 
[Anon]

Hi [Anon]

No I didn't laugh either literally or in my heart. I felt a mixture of concern and the very gentlest form of amusement, not laughter but more love and compassion.

I am pleased you have opened yourself up and I get that this is scary for you. Now you are open to it and allow yourself to feel for him, the very normal and human fear or rejection kicks in. I don't know what is best for you to do right now but if you would just breathe, I am confident that you would know. My request is that you stand back from yourself and see yourself as I see you now, with a loving heart and with compassion for your reaction and focus on the love, for yourself for now, fill yourself with love for the girl who has been so hurt that, now open to love, she is terrified. Really focus on it (and as I type hairs are standing up on my aims) and be that love for yourself and all else will flow from this. You need nothing more. Don't think, just do this and then relax and again don't think. Let feelings come and let actions flow when and only when they feel right as always. Be love, be love, be love. How can he resist that?!

Love

Maitland

Thank you so much Maitland. You’ve got me in tears again J

I’m being and feeling love and letting go of the thoughts. I hadn’t really acknowledged the fear of being hurt or really how deeply I had been hurt. I mean I knew, but I hadn’t acknowledged it.

Thanks you so much for this Maitland. I wish I could hug you with all my love right now. Feel it anyway J
 
Love

[Anon]