I want to share this email to a friend that contains a succinct summary of today's lessons for me on aloofness:
Hello sweetie.
I was feeling a little void today - all the rain and no major developments on the surface, not sure how to react to certain things including expressing opinions, supporting causes, etc. But then on the way back from [the supermarket] later I saw that what is being asked of me is not to get involved in things of this world, political, moral or otherwise, to stand aloof, to be in this world and not of it, to extricate myself from participation and with it came a peace, a strong wisdom.
I have since ventured into grey areas and this is fine since I then explore boundaries. But this is about mental discipline and not allowing the issues of this world to drag me down. It does not mean to condone behaviour and for others it may be OK to make stands for things but I must remain neutral and speak my truth and nothing more. I immediately removed a protest entry on FB about what my friend called state sanctioned murder (execution of an innocent man). I can stand for love but not against anything. I think this succinctly sums up what is asked of me and now I understand and am happy. It is not to give up on justice but to stand for it from on high, to manifest it from non-engagement because the engagement carries a serious risk of taking it out, of causing it to fail: it is just one step removed from anger and then loss.
I said to you earlier that the illness aspect of the anger was a new perspective but it isn’t really, just in this context, I haven’t seen it in action - but now I see that there is no difference between anger at a known individual from anger at some nameless entity who has let the road prematurely stripped road surface remain untreated and therefore dangerous or at some company whose unilateral change in terms literally steals from me. Every person involved in either situation is, I know, much more than this (individually and collectively) and as such is no better or worse than me at their true core. They deserve my love, compassion and forgiveness so that they too may find the light, not my anger, my “righteous indignation” that denies them everything and locks them up in judgment.
I wanted to share this with you, since I have struggled in the last 24 hours to see what is my lesson: now it is abundantly clear and very wonderful.
Love
Maitland
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Dawning of a New Awareness
I woke up at 5:45am this morning, a little earlier than usual and I lay there in the half light of the pre-dawn contemplating how, as I attune myself more and more with nature and the universe, my body also comes into line, feeling the disharmony of some of what I do like drinking beer and so on.
Anyway, within a few minutes my lovely dog, Lucky, had registered that I was awake (presumably noticing the shift if the sound of my breathing) and jumped onto the bed with his usual rush of intensely imploring licks, indicating a strong desire to relieve himself! I “fought him off” for 5 minutes or so, telling him “walkies” would follow shortly and commanding him in Thai, “Norn” (“lie down”) but he did so for less than a minute before going through the whole routine again and I think it was the beginning of the 3rd round when I finally surrendered to the inevitability of the forthcoming walk and got up.
Attending briefly to my own personal needs before leaving so that I was free to devote this time to him in comfort, I soon had his lead on him and was marching out the door into the beautiful cool air of the pre-dawn period some 10 minutes before sunrise. And what a beautiful morning it was (and is) too. Largely a blue sky, wisps of cloud streaked across the dawning blue expanse before me, a few huddles of cotton-wool-like clouds as well. As I came with Lucky to the end of our side-street in our “moo baan” (private housing estate) I chose to turn left and so indicated to Lucky by a gently pull on his lead as I wanted to see the beautiful canvas that the pre-dawn sky now presented before me. I love clouds. I mean I really love clouds. They are somehow heavenly, otherworldly, and lift my attention from the mundane to the sublime.
So, as I made my way towards the back of the “moo baan” on its east facing border, slowly but surely the sun burst forth in a splash of golds on the horizon, nearly blinding me as I persisted in soaking it up in its fullest glory! Lucky did his usual business, pottering about oblivious to the delights of my world as he sniffed and marked his territory, having given up attempts to force me to turn back to face his mortal enemy, the large dog who lives opposite who roams free, wreaking havoc on all dogs who dare to invade his domain.
This fleeting display of the dawning sun now complete, I led Lucky back in the other direction so that he could enjoy a fuller expression of his “doggy needs” and we went out, past the central island that greets visitors to our “moo baan” with the large golden statue of the Hindu god, Ganesh, and made our way out of the estate and down the hill past a garden centre and onto the main road that curves away from us to the north-west and in the distance I saw the mottled horizon of the numerous “karsts”, the large 300 million year-old limestone formations that once formed part of the world’s largest coral reef that is now much of South East Asia. Lit up by the sun, they looked stunning and I was totally alive to the wonders of nature, even in this otherwise somewhat bland immediate vicinity amidst ugly concrete constructions that sadly replaced the traditional wooden houses when wood became more scarce and concrete the cheaper option for building.
By this time I was feeling on cloud nine (cloud nine being that fluffy little number on the horizon that I mentioned earlier!): there I was in the cool morning sunshine, watching the beauty that is so abundant in Krabi, catching glimpses of the early morning dew in the short time before it evaporates, since the sun burns off all water so fast this near to the Equator, noticing its refreshing sparkles that quenches the thirst of the plants it blesses with its life-giving night-time blanket of moisture and how, in places, it reflects light so as to look like frost, yet the temperature is far too high at some 23-24 degrees Celsius for it possibly to be ice.
In this heavenly state of being, I felt at one with my surroundings, so happy to be alive and to live here in my new home country, Thailand, so grateful for its generous supply of natural beauty and comfortable climate. Attuned to nature in this way, and increasingly to my true self that is so at home in nature, I felt such intense joy, such deep happiness without a care in the world, a state of mind I find myself blessed to enjoy as the norm these days.
While Lucky was in his element, no doubt delighted that his impatient pulling to go in new directions had been successful, I turned my thoughts to what I had been contemplating so early on in bed, how my attuning or aligning with nature and my true self in this way was bringing me to new awareness and a prospect of new health and vitality; I could rally feel it, not just have it as some vague notion or concept. As a result of some fairly dramatic shifts in the last fortnight in my feelings about life and the people I know and don’t know, I have come to such a place of love and gratitude which feels sublime at the deepest possible level and I can feel my body’s reaction to such resonance with all that is, telling me that it is no longer comfortable with that which I had soothed up my inner aching, the beers at night, the early morning coffee one could stand a spoon in, the excesses of sugary delights and so on.
The dulling of the senses by these means was becoming unnecessary and I contemplated the prospect, indeed the probability, that as I march on and further attune myself to my true self, my natural self, when my new work begins next month, I can realistically anticipate that my body will reach new levels of vigour, of youthful balance and eventually fitness with the least of effort, because that, I realise, is our natural state when properly and finely tuned like a winning Formula One engine purring gently before the race.
Anyway, within a few minutes my lovely dog, Lucky, had registered that I was awake (presumably noticing the shift if the sound of my breathing) and jumped onto the bed with his usual rush of intensely imploring licks, indicating a strong desire to relieve himself! I “fought him off” for 5 minutes or so, telling him “walkies” would follow shortly and commanding him in Thai, “Norn” (“lie down”) but he did so for less than a minute before going through the whole routine again and I think it was the beginning of the 3rd round when I finally surrendered to the inevitability of the forthcoming walk and got up.
Attending briefly to my own personal needs before leaving so that I was free to devote this time to him in comfort, I soon had his lead on him and was marching out the door into the beautiful cool air of the pre-dawn period some 10 minutes before sunrise. And what a beautiful morning it was (and is) too. Largely a blue sky, wisps of cloud streaked across the dawning blue expanse before me, a few huddles of cotton-wool-like clouds as well. As I came with Lucky to the end of our side-street in our “moo baan” (private housing estate) I chose to turn left and so indicated to Lucky by a gently pull on his lead as I wanted to see the beautiful canvas that the pre-dawn sky now presented before me. I love clouds. I mean I really love clouds. They are somehow heavenly, otherworldly, and lift my attention from the mundane to the sublime.
So, as I made my way towards the back of the “moo baan” on its east facing border, slowly but surely the sun burst forth in a splash of golds on the horizon, nearly blinding me as I persisted in soaking it up in its fullest glory! Lucky did his usual business, pottering about oblivious to the delights of my world as he sniffed and marked his territory, having given up attempts to force me to turn back to face his mortal enemy, the large dog who lives opposite who roams free, wreaking havoc on all dogs who dare to invade his domain.
This fleeting display of the dawning sun now complete, I led Lucky back in the other direction so that he could enjoy a fuller expression of his “doggy needs” and we went out, past the central island that greets visitors to our “moo baan” with the large golden statue of the Hindu god, Ganesh, and made our way out of the estate and down the hill past a garden centre and onto the main road that curves away from us to the north-west and in the distance I saw the mottled horizon of the numerous “karsts”, the large 300 million year-old limestone formations that once formed part of the world’s largest coral reef that is now much of South East Asia. Lit up by the sun, they looked stunning and I was totally alive to the wonders of nature, even in this otherwise somewhat bland immediate vicinity amidst ugly concrete constructions that sadly replaced the traditional wooden houses when wood became more scarce and concrete the cheaper option for building.
By this time I was feeling on cloud nine (cloud nine being that fluffy little number on the horizon that I mentioned earlier!): there I was in the cool morning sunshine, watching the beauty that is so abundant in Krabi, catching glimpses of the early morning dew in the short time before it evaporates, since the sun burns off all water so fast this near to the Equator, noticing its refreshing sparkles that quenches the thirst of the plants it blesses with its life-giving night-time blanket of moisture and how, in places, it reflects light so as to look like frost, yet the temperature is far too high at some 23-24 degrees Celsius for it possibly to be ice.
In this heavenly state of being, I felt at one with my surroundings, so happy to be alive and to live here in my new home country, Thailand, so grateful for its generous supply of natural beauty and comfortable climate. Attuned to nature in this way, and increasingly to my true self that is so at home in nature, I felt such intense joy, such deep happiness without a care in the world, a state of mind I find myself blessed to enjoy as the norm these days.
While Lucky was in his element, no doubt delighted that his impatient pulling to go in new directions had been successful, I turned my thoughts to what I had been contemplating so early on in bed, how my attuning or aligning with nature and my true self in this way was bringing me to new awareness and a prospect of new health and vitality; I could rally feel it, not just have it as some vague notion or concept. As a result of some fairly dramatic shifts in the last fortnight in my feelings about life and the people I know and don’t know, I have come to such a place of love and gratitude which feels sublime at the deepest possible level and I can feel my body’s reaction to such resonance with all that is, telling me that it is no longer comfortable with that which I had soothed up my inner aching, the beers at night, the early morning coffee one could stand a spoon in, the excesses of sugary delights and so on.
The dulling of the senses by these means was becoming unnecessary and I contemplated the prospect, indeed the probability, that as I march on and further attune myself to my true self, my natural self, when my new work begins next month, I can realistically anticipate that my body will reach new levels of vigour, of youthful balance and eventually fitness with the least of effort, because that, I realise, is our natural state when properly and finely tuned like a winning Formula One engine purring gently before the race.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Virtuous Circle of Love
I have had the most beautiful morning of contemplation, relaxation and love! I was tired, having risen early to walk my dog desperate for immediate relief and had therefore taken a nap late morning. As I came downstairs with Lucky after my nap and put him down on the sofa next to where my partner too was snoozing, he snuggled in beside him to join him. I was touched by how much love he has to give and what pleasure he gets from showing his love by his snuggling close. He is such a deeply loving dog and as I made my way back upstairs to return to my contemplations in what you could describe as my meditation room, I was filled with warmth at this loving scene between two of the most important creatures in my life.
I went in armed with my laptop and once sat in my meditation pyramid, I saw a message a recent friend had sent me asking for loving prayers as she had been having a tough few days. Then, as I sent the following reply that felt relevant to give, I felt such love for her, this new friend who I know is on a sincere journey if self discovery herself:
“Aw, darling, I am sorry to hear that. I have indeed sent you loving energy to help you heal whatever it is you are healing at present - in times of healing it can feel worse than before, as things surface before finally leaving our energy field. Try not to despair or attach any meaning to it or to analyse it because nothing is wrong. I went through months of this just on one subject and through years of it in fact on and off, so I am now well acquainted with thee process. The good news is that in these times, it is all speeding up and healing so much quicker than before, so it will not last. Nurture yourself, follow your feelings - if you feel like sleeping, sleep; if you feel like eating, eat and don't worry about your weight, because right now it is more important to heal and to nurture yourself through it. Bless you darling, for ultimately all this is great news. Love, Maitland”.
I was so full of love by this time that another thought occurred to me to express to her to soothe her pain and help her along the way, so I sent her this too:
“By the way, there were many times I felt so bad, I felt I had taken several major steps back into darkness but these were just part of the process, so if you ever feel that way, remember my words: you never step backwards once you have chosen this path of self discovery and renewal as you have. Love to you sister X, Maitland”
By now full of love in my heart, something strange but wonderful happened, people who had hurt me so much in the past, people who had lied, cheated, betrayed and rejected me suddenly and unexpectedly came to mind, yet as I saw each one, each of whom I had already forgiven in order to free my soul from anger and resentment, I felt love for them: I felt I could have hugged each and every one if they had with me then. A step beyond forgiveness and compassion, this pure, unconditional love seemed to radiate from my chest, so powerful it was almost tangible; it is no exaggeration to say I felt it pouring from my heart and in its wake I felt a peace and calm euphoria, taking the healing of my own heart in forgiveness to yet another level altogether.
This upward spiral of loving energy, this virtuous circle of love that started with my gorgeous Lucky lifted my whole being and as I reflected on it, the words that came to me were, “This is who you really are” and I felt a profound peace and gratitude for all that had led me here including the injuries perpetrated upon me by those souls who I now saw for who they really are; that love that came from knowing who they are at heart and from a desire that they too find themselves as I have been blessed to do.
I went in armed with my laptop and once sat in my meditation pyramid, I saw a message a recent friend had sent me asking for loving prayers as she had been having a tough few days. Then, as I sent the following reply that felt relevant to give, I felt such love for her, this new friend who I know is on a sincere journey if self discovery herself:
“Aw, darling, I am sorry to hear that. I have indeed sent you loving energy to help you heal whatever it is you are healing at present - in times of healing it can feel worse than before, as things surface before finally leaving our energy field. Try not to despair or attach any meaning to it or to analyse it because nothing is wrong. I went through months of this just on one subject and through years of it in fact on and off, so I am now well acquainted with thee process. The good news is that in these times, it is all speeding up and healing so much quicker than before, so it will not last. Nurture yourself, follow your feelings - if you feel like sleeping, sleep; if you feel like eating, eat and don't worry about your weight, because right now it is more important to heal and to nurture yourself through it. Bless you darling, for ultimately all this is great news. Love, Maitland”.
I was so full of love by this time that another thought occurred to me to express to her to soothe her pain and help her along the way, so I sent her this too:
“By the way, there were many times I felt so bad, I felt I had taken several major steps back into darkness but these were just part of the process, so if you ever feel that way, remember my words: you never step backwards once you have chosen this path of self discovery and renewal as you have. Love to you sister X, Maitland”
By now full of love in my heart, something strange but wonderful happened, people who had hurt me so much in the past, people who had lied, cheated, betrayed and rejected me suddenly and unexpectedly came to mind, yet as I saw each one, each of whom I had already forgiven in order to free my soul from anger and resentment, I felt love for them: I felt I could have hugged each and every one if they had with me then. A step beyond forgiveness and compassion, this pure, unconditional love seemed to radiate from my chest, so powerful it was almost tangible; it is no exaggeration to say I felt it pouring from my heart and in its wake I felt a peace and calm euphoria, taking the healing of my own heart in forgiveness to yet another level altogether.
This upward spiral of loving energy, this virtuous circle of love that started with my gorgeous Lucky lifted my whole being and as I reflected on it, the words that came to me were, “This is who you really are” and I felt a profound peace and gratitude for all that had led me here including the injuries perpetrated upon me by those souls who I now saw for who they really are; that love that came from knowing who they are at heart and from a desire that they too find themselves as I have been blessed to do.
Friday, 2 September 2011
Coming to Ramadan
It’s interesting but I have been aware of Ramadan and its practices of personal sacrifice to show devotion to Allah since about 1983 when my sister fell in love and eventually married and Egyptian man but I have never really understood it in all its depth and purpose. Of course I understood its purpose superficially but not deep down, deep inside me. But now I do.
I am not a Muslim and have no desire to follow any specific religion but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect their values and practices or at least some of them. I live in a region of Thailand where Muslims make up over 30% of the population and will soon move to an island where the vast majority are Muslim and though there are problems between the Buddhist and Muslim communities nearer to the Malay border, the region formerly part of Malaysia until my country did a deal and carved it up many years ago, generally the communities live together in harmony.
As a man committed to world peace and mankind unified as a single whole, respecting the views of others, the rich diversity of mankind on earth, is vital. So, my opening to the richness of the Ramadan duties is particularly welcome.
I am no expert on Ramadan despite the family connection and the close proximity of so many of the faith of Islam, but I recall that during this period, Muslims are expected to show devotion by doing without drink of any kind (including water) and food during daylight hours and throughout the entire period to avoid physical contact (sex and even kissing or hugging) and alcohol (the latter being prohibited altogether for some of the faith). How it occurred to me before was as an obligation with more suffering than merit, especially for Muslim in Northern Europe where the daylight hours if Ramadan falls in summer are so long it is sheer torture.
But in recent years of my own hardships I have had to scrape by, though never once have I gone hungry, and I have been aware for some years that I am likely to earn large sums of money in the end and will be free to have anything material I may want, but the effect of the hardships has not been to drive me to want all those things and shower myself in possessions and excesses of food and drink.
Though I will undoubtedly have much of what I want if I am right about my future, I actually enjoy the restraint, the need to “make do” and be grateful for what I have. In fact, I am going through such a period right now and it is remarkable how well I can now “make do” and I am happy for it because it sharpens my sensitivity to the issue and above all it heightens my gratitude for what I have. And it is in this that lies the core of the benefit of Ramadan, to show devotion and gratitude and not to take for granted. That I have food and drink is at Allah’s grace and something I still too often forget, especially when money becomes tight, yet I am so blessed, so provided for that never once have I gone hungry even though there are many who do. It would be a “dis-grace” not to appreciate what Allah provides for me so loyally if I keep my faith. I don’t have anything as of right but only by His/Her loving grace.
Thank you Allah. Allah is indeed great!
I am not a Muslim and have no desire to follow any specific religion but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect their values and practices or at least some of them. I live in a region of Thailand where Muslims make up over 30% of the population and will soon move to an island where the vast majority are Muslim and though there are problems between the Buddhist and Muslim communities nearer to the Malay border, the region formerly part of Malaysia until my country did a deal and carved it up many years ago, generally the communities live together in harmony.
As a man committed to world peace and mankind unified as a single whole, respecting the views of others, the rich diversity of mankind on earth, is vital. So, my opening to the richness of the Ramadan duties is particularly welcome.
I am no expert on Ramadan despite the family connection and the close proximity of so many of the faith of Islam, but I recall that during this period, Muslims are expected to show devotion by doing without drink of any kind (including water) and food during daylight hours and throughout the entire period to avoid physical contact (sex and even kissing or hugging) and alcohol (the latter being prohibited altogether for some of the faith). How it occurred to me before was as an obligation with more suffering than merit, especially for Muslim in Northern Europe where the daylight hours if Ramadan falls in summer are so long it is sheer torture.
But in recent years of my own hardships I have had to scrape by, though never once have I gone hungry, and I have been aware for some years that I am likely to earn large sums of money in the end and will be free to have anything material I may want, but the effect of the hardships has not been to drive me to want all those things and shower myself in possessions and excesses of food and drink.
Though I will undoubtedly have much of what I want if I am right about my future, I actually enjoy the restraint, the need to “make do” and be grateful for what I have. In fact, I am going through such a period right now and it is remarkable how well I can now “make do” and I am happy for it because it sharpens my sensitivity to the issue and above all it heightens my gratitude for what I have. And it is in this that lies the core of the benefit of Ramadan, to show devotion and gratitude and not to take for granted. That I have food and drink is at Allah’s grace and something I still too often forget, especially when money becomes tight, yet I am so blessed, so provided for that never once have I gone hungry even though there are many who do. It would be a “dis-grace” not to appreciate what Allah provides for me so loyally if I keep my faith. I don’t have anything as of right but only by His/Her loving grace.
Thank you Allah. Allah is indeed great!
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