Itchy Fingers!

So, it seems my fingers are itching to write something; no particular place to go but a strong desire to express myself from my heart and my fingers are listening, even when I am not!

“Why?”, I hear you say. No reason, just a feeling. Feelings have no reasons. They just are. If only we could live in the feelings of what is and just be. How simple and peaceful that would be. No place to get to, no past to lament or future to long for, just now: the beautiful ever-changing patterns on the clouds at dawn as the sun rises and bring new hues on subtle puffs of white to a myriad variations pink, grey and blue, of wondrous art hewn on the fleeting art of the skies.

As I wonder around in this state of awareness I see new buds and shoots rise amid dying and dead branches and leaves, the whole cycle of life before my very eyes in its own glory, without associated fear that usually accompanies the cycle in humans, so often unaware of their part in nature for all it is.

Next, a sound: the shrill whistling of a small group tropical birds as they call to each other and play as the day breaks and beyond, providing a regular chorus that reminds me not only of their presence and their beautiful song but also the immense beauty all around me in my simple tropical paradise.

Then later in the day as heavier clouds form, the forbidding dark grey tones that promise a heavy downfall are both cause for seeking protection but also for delight as the anticipation grows and shortly before the first drops come, a sudden rush of wind to stir things up and beckon the oncoming rains. Then, in a flash, there it comes, pouring down so fast it fills large tubs in minutes and washes away much of the accumulated detritus since the last storm and I watch as the torrential rains bring freshness to all that surrounds me and invigorates me with its electric energy, its passionate embrace of the earth an act of natural love.

By my very presence in being, I see this and not the sourness of grey skies or the ugliness of dead plants. I see life in all its beauty and I am content.

By way of gift, my fingers bring me beyond the many minor woes of my day to a state of gratitude and joy, the source of the woes, a creation of a busy mind looking at what it thinks should be rather than what is, soon swept aside.

Oneness Episodes: True Glimpses of Reality

I have noticed that since I began the very powerful pyramid sessions 7 days ago in which I receive very high frequency energies, I have had the usual feelings of tiredness but also a strange sensation occasionally that I find hard to put into words.

Usually it occurs when napping, just before I nod off. I have often experienced what is presumably the commonplace drifting into sleep when “reality” mixes with dreams but this is different. In that same time slot, perhaps immediately before it, everything is strange, very confusing, like nothing makes sense anymore.

Though I remain unable to express it in words properly, I suddenly saw it for what it is this morning: I am temporarily experiencing a total lifting of the veil of illusion that we call reality and suddenly it is gone. It lasts but a split second but is perhaps a little disconcerting. My first sense was that I was “losing it” but I now realise it is part of the process as I am almost literally re-wired by the high frequency energies that I am receiving.

I actually get the odd even shorter glimpse of it sometimes during the day - not much at all but just the tiniest split second in the middle of doing something. It started with lapses in my ability to connect quickly as I am used to being able to do, having a very quick, mercurial mind as I do, but it developed to this very interesting experience. I wonder where it will lead.

I don’t expect that these episodes will necessarily grow or expand I suspect they are merely symptoms of this process, of this “re-wiring” that I had already been warned would happen and would ultimately result in me seeing the entire nature of this world differently. I have also been told that the process with inculcate a sense of oneness not only at a mental level but at a body level too so again I suspect this is part of it.

The nearest experience I have had to this, on reflection, is very different and occurred 21 years ago after a year of regular meditation (once or twice a day) and involved me walking down the street when suddenly, I had a flash sense that I was just part of everything around me, the garden of the ordinary terraced house that I was passing at the time, just everything. It was a magical moment of oneness that I have never forgotten and kept open the possibility of a universal consciousness (that for shorthand I now sometimes call “God”), though i stopped meditating for 15 years and only when I started again did I suddenly find the strong faith that I now have.

So, strange though this experience is, I think it is wonderful and a sign of major internal shifts in my consciousness as well as my physical being, a move to open oneness consciousness, not merely as a intellectual concept but as an actual experience of “reality”.

Successfully Navigating the Chamber of Demons

Yesterday, I read somewhere a tale about some monks that had to pass through a chamber of demons before getting to the door on the other side that leads into the promised land, the highest state of inner peace. The tale went that monks often went into it never to emerge but when eventually one did so, he was asked how he did it, he said he just kept his eye on the door at all times.

This resonated with me as I pass through that chamber myself and feel the tugging of the demons around me, the demons of doubt and fear. Then later as I shared this with my best friend, I went deeper into the allegory and saw that the best way to live in the most fulfilled and happiest way is to set your sights on that intention without attachment to anything - how it should look and how one should get there - and then just take one step at a time, knowing one will pass through hurdles designed to strengthen us along the way, guided only by what feels right in the moment and NEVER losing sight of the door and ALWAYS following one’s heart.

The only addition to make to this simple way of living is to live in the moment, mindful of that door but present to all that is around you, looking for the good, the benefit in every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, grateful for what each one brings and happy to be on the journey.

With this I don’t need to know what step to take in two steps’ time or whether I will “succeed” - success is in every step, even when we feel we have taken the “wrong one”, for the wrong one never exists as each is perfect to teach us something new. Even persistently “failing” to learn the lesson is simply a set back that will eventually be corrected in this life or another.

So I am reminded to accept today’s challenges with gratitude, to notice my feelings that are unpleasant and know that there us a reason for them surfacing to be released and thereby empower me in the next step of the journey. Do I find this easy? No! Am I committed to this path and this perspective, however? Oh, yes indeed!

Nothing to Do But Wait

There’s nothing to do but wait...wait for my cold to get better, wait for the healing I am undergoing to be completed, wait to see what will come of me and my future, the future to which I have surrendered whilst not really knowing of what it will consist.

So, here I am sat in my “pyramid”, my “intergalactic vehicle for redemption”, to supercharge ‘ad infinitum’ and I am bored, not really tempted by the highly rated if somewhat old film that I have been watching. So, instead I turn to my electronic “pad” and start to scribble the words you are now reading. There’s no place to get to, no goal or end, just wherever they take me, a word-based ramble which is pretty much all I am capable of in this mixture of heat, humidity, fatigue and mucus!

I have become quite a patient man really. I obediently do what I am “told”, guided by words and feelings to do nothing but relax and rest for now. Days have past, perpetually tired but with passing moods that flit in briefly and leave as fast as they came to make room for the next one, the next eradication of past unhappiness from the deep recesses of my ageing mind. Yet, I do not complain too much, remarking on the varying states of being but knowing they are unreal and will soon pass, thereby freeing me of concerns about what it all means. I am therefore at liberty to pursue whatever entertainment I can find.

Now almost recovered from my online addiction to social media, I still peek into it frequently but now leave almost as fast, since I can see how trivial it has all become or is it that something is shifting in me, the petty observations and debates, the meaningless statements and assertions, the occasional conflicts and derisions. It all seems such a waste of time but I search still for something to fill the boredom of this temporary state. But why? Why not be contented with the free time and dwell in the moment rather than on dissatisfaction that has the ‘now’ occur as lonely and boring?

There is no reason, except perhaps for false expectations and disappointments, things I set my mind to that may or may not come to fruition. We shall see. It will slowly be unveiled when the time is right and patience is a virtue I have come to admire greatly. In the meantime, let nature take its course with my cold, my moods and my overall well-being, for tomorrow is another day made better by today’s patient acceptance.