Nothing to Do But Wait

There’s nothing to do but wait...wait for my cold to get better, wait for the healing I am undergoing to be completed, wait to see what will come of me and my future, the future to which I have surrendered whilst not really knowing of what it will consist.

So, here I am sat in my “pyramid”, my “intergalactic vehicle for redemption”, to supercharge ‘ad infinitum’ and I am bored, not really tempted by the highly rated if somewhat old film that I have been watching. So, instead I turn to my electronic “pad” and start to scribble the words you are now reading. There’s no place to get to, no goal or end, just wherever they take me, a word-based ramble which is pretty much all I am capable of in this mixture of heat, humidity, fatigue and mucus!

I have become quite a patient man really. I obediently do what I am “told”, guided by words and feelings to do nothing but relax and rest for now. Days have past, perpetually tired but with passing moods that flit in briefly and leave as fast as they came to make room for the next one, the next eradication of past unhappiness from the deep recesses of my ageing mind. Yet, I do not complain too much, remarking on the varying states of being but knowing they are unreal and will soon pass, thereby freeing me of concerns about what it all means. I am therefore at liberty to pursue whatever entertainment I can find.

Now almost recovered from my online addiction to social media, I still peek into it frequently but now leave almost as fast, since I can see how trivial it has all become or is it that something is shifting in me, the petty observations and debates, the meaningless statements and assertions, the occasional conflicts and derisions. It all seems such a waste of time but I search still for something to fill the boredom of this temporary state. But why? Why not be contented with the free time and dwell in the moment rather than on dissatisfaction that has the ‘now’ occur as lonely and boring?

There is no reason, except perhaps for false expectations and disappointments, things I set my mind to that may or may not come to fruition. We shall see. It will slowly be unveiled when the time is right and patience is a virtue I have come to admire greatly. In the meantime, let nature take its course with my cold, my moods and my overall well-being, for tomorrow is another day made better by today’s patient acceptance.