I am sat in the shade on a warm, humid afternoon, at peace despite a night of fear-invoking dreams and thoughts and fearful mood swings by “my other half” who struggles to cope with his own fears following his recent redundancy. That his fears superficially mirror mine at a time of financial drought is but a further test of my ability to transcend fear and seek refuge in internal harmony and faith in the Universe.
He, however, denies his fears and thereby feeds them, also preventing him from transcending them, reduced to a more than usually moody person, swinging from loving concern for me (probably better aimed at himself!) and dark moods with fear, bad temper and long silences prevailing.
I offer what I can and try to show him what I see, but he is not open to discussion or to acknowledging his fears, so I sooner leave him in peace to deal with it in the best way he can, thereby also protecting myself from being drawn into his negative, fatalistic view of life, no doubt fuelled by a society with strict structures that inhibit true freedom of expression and fulfilment of human potential.
Our journeys may be together yet they differ, there to provide mutual love and comfort as we venture forth, to complement and balance each other at times yet at others to serve to test each other unwittingly but surely, expanding each other’s self awareness and advancement.
This perspective on our relationship helps free me of burdensome expectations, allowing silence and space to soften the edges of the less beautiful interactions between us, acknowledging an overall beauty, however, in the love and freedom we offer each other that of itself unties our hands and allows love to flow more freely, even in the face of sometimes extreme adversity.
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