Temporary Seclusion

Temporary seclusion has its merits in life: it allows for reflective contemplation that in time expands and becomes a haven in an otherwise busy world. Here I am sat outside in the early evening as the sun sets and I feel peace and contentment in this space created for reflection, all this despite the recent challenges and upheavals, especially my brother’s recent illness and death.

Here in my haven there is space for me, for remembrance of my brother and for quiet contemplation of my feelings, even for release of pain. So it is that I while away the period of dusk until darkness falls and mosquitoes begin to distract me from my state of inner peace. Before I go back inside, I call to my brother’s spirit to join me to enjoy the moment together and to allow him to watch me pen these words, he who, as a baby, used to call me “Pen” (for some inexplicable reason) and who so loved my ability to write movingly from the heart.

As I talk away (just in my head!), I share my happiness with him (the only exception to it being my losing him). I show him my new home which I had hoped he and his wife would one day visit, our lovely dog and this tranquil setting that so soothes me and feeds my creativity.

The choice to include him in my new life here is one I make from time to time in the days since his death as it comforts me to know he is there and to express things I would have done had he survived to make a trip that I know he would have loved so very much.

It is not for him that I do it but for me since I know he is happy and free and moving on beyond the struggle of this, his latest life and incarnation. For me, sad though I am, I take solace in this healing time spent alone with my thoughts and my dear brother in this temporary seclusion, in my latest haven.