The Endless Flight

As my heart slowly has me take a leap over the edge and beyond all meaningless norms, I see all life in slow motion as my entire body floats downward towards a distant but unforgiving floor, yet never to land and somehow dancing forever, trusting and soaring for ever-increasing episodes, though doubting and falling from time to time, but never hitting rock bottom.

As if by magic, my faith in my constant well-being lifts my heart’s wings and has me reach new heights amidst the ups and downs of life’s challenging flight. Above all, the terrifying leap now made, the journey becomes an exciting adventure, an apparently suicidal mission at first that in fact brings new meaning to my life, new horizons beyond accepted reality as a reward for having courage beyond logic, faith beyond proof and me beyond my mortal form.

As my limbs slowly dance and glide in timeless, beauteous bliss, by my very awareness of their grace, I transcend all inauthentic reality as if intoxicated by a powerful hallucinogen but free of all harm and expense. This is, after all, the ultimate free gift, available to all whose heart’s sincere craving is answered by the universal good within each and every one of us if we but know and commit.

Gift of Faith - Peace of a Mind

I have woken up full of why’s and how’s and the consequential unsettled feeling inside for not knowing the answers to any of the cascade of insecurities that have rained on me from nowhere with no apparent reason other than that they just ‘are’. Not so pleasant, this feeling I have awakened to. Not the same peaceful state I have become used to but it need not last and, as I prefer my mind to relax into my daily ritual free of flow writing, I turn my mind away from the unanswerable questions and allow the anxiety to slip away slowly from inside. I resist the temptation to force the process, close my eyes and breathe deeply, soaking up the calmer energy in the morning light and letting it work its way into my body and heart.

The odd sip of tea supports the gradual restoration of order and calm within, a healing of old wounds that generate doubt and the need to know, and in its absence, a vacuum forms in which anxiety builds a nest unless I scatter the branches which form its structure. I do this by not letting a question or fearful feeling take hold. I do not fight it, accepting the mind’s attempt and desire to be secure through certainty (however misguided it may be), but I let it go with gratitude for its good intentions, preferring the inner peace and ease of effort that comes when we simply trust and accept the moment, moment by moment, hour by hour and so on till whatever happens happens and our future is mapped out at a deeper level from within.

This surrender to the natural order is a recipe for peace and happiness and with it comes love, love for people, love for so many things that the Universe provides freely to those who wait for It to deliver what they want instead of taking over and forcing their own will upon the situation. It is hard not to drive things forward, for the strength of belief and unquestioning acceptance which is needed to bring about ones dreams so easily slip into will-powered determination, born of past experiences and pushing against the natural flow, causing it to slow down or even reverse, leaving us exhausted, perhaps wounded.

And now, only minutes since I started, calm has returned and I feel contented, disinterested in the why’s and how’s that brought suffering, preferring the joy of acceptance and surrender to the pain of futile attempts to know and control. How quickly peace of mind resumes with the tools of faith in the Universe.

Simply Divine

“Simply Divine!” It sums up everything, for when we are have peace of mind and life is therefore good, it is simple, uncomplicated and definitely of the Divine, so it is a succinct statement of the truth of my life. How nice! How lucky I am to have been able to see it for what it is. It does not relieve me of dreams and requests for even better things but blesses me with an awareness and resultant gratitude for what I have already.

This is joy. My awakening to it this fine, sunny morning carries the blessing of a great day ahead as I venture to take on the challenges of work and study amidst chaos and beauty, scorching heat and invigorating light. Mine is a strange existence at present, bereft of structure and routine, dependent on only me and the Universe. I cannot imagine how utterly weird, even mad, I must look to those for whom habit and security are so important. Even my beloved does not understand but his love is deep enough to allow me to be myself, most of the time at least, and he does to seek to change too much in the realisation that I am not one to be tamed!

My simply divine existence will bring me what it will today, gradually answering my prayers and fulfilling my dreams at its own pace, not mine, sometimes slowly and sometimes with almost shocking speed. The request for abundance, so long coming, now so fast arriving, with more almost by the day. Such contrast with just weeks ago and not once did I actually go hungry, even at its worst, for I am well loved and protected from above, all the more so as I surrender to what comes to me, knowing if not understanding how it all works for my ultimate well-being.

I desire so many things and experiences, yet I am happy here and now, not at some distant future time. I sit here, my beloved sleeping, his arms and embrace awaiting a wake up call I will soon give that will further feed my unlimited happiness, as loving words and touches are exchanged before the dawning of a fresh day of love’s opportunity. How rich am I that I have all this and no need for lock and keys to protect it from the envious eyes of others, for happiness is true yet intangible, not the product of false beliefs in material security and control. No insurance can cover its loss and its loss is not in prospect as long as I keep my eyes open to the truth.

Freedom Apace

Late today, I am out on the open-air landing in the mid-afternoon, now rested, hair groomed at last after weeks of delay, calm in spirit once again, contented with my lot. I prepare to put myself into ‘free-flow gear’ and accelerate to that wonderful place of freedom, fastening the mental seat belt to allow me to let go completely. So, here goes!

One, two three, bang! I explode once more, nodes of understanding forming quickly as I release again. Crystal pure thoughts ejaculate from nowhere, my thinking obscured as the flow releases to me whatever it wishes to reveal and again I find myself able to trust and, therefore, to hear that all is well with the world, my world in particular, no need to fear scarcity any more, the river of plenty coursing through my every cell, bringing me whatever I desire at a pace that astounds. There is nothing rare or unique that I cannot have if I set my mind to it. As that generous thought melts away, I am left to contemplate what I could have, like a distant, curious observer, unsure of where to look next, excited but confused by the infinite choices available to it.

How splendid! The motor of the flow still running smoothly, I step up the pace and loosen the wheels still further so they run as if on air, oiled by my freedom and my refusal to accept anything less than the fulfilment of my dreams. It really heats up inside me now as the flow gets going and boosts itself towards the greatness it contains quite naturally and without effort. Racing ahead, unstoppable now, I see on the horizon great things to be shared in future as events unfold and call me truly into being at a whole new level. This is great, for I too am great when greatness within us is allowed to breathe and sustain its life within us all. No exceptions, each of us paints a false picture of reality that, once found out, fades away, leaving in its wake a beautiful reality whose power is truly great. This, then, is what I shall convey to the world in my books, that the great may become great and freedom ensue.

Yet Another Perfect Day

“Yet another f…..g perfect day!” The words come back to me from a film with Sarah Miles called “White Mischief” as I once again indulge myself with an early morning writing meditation to start my day. This time alone, my beloved now working again, I relish the beautiful start to my day, from the email I awoke to bringing news of imminent profitable work to the positive email from a close friend endorsing what I am doing, to the joy of seeing my beloved off to work in good spirits, to the cold I surrendered to that has now gone after only 2 days, to the taste of strawberry jam signalling a return of my sacred sense of taste and, above all, to the joy of early morning sun on the landing outside our apartment. Yes, I feel on top of the world today, succeeding in accepting and, in so doing, being blessed with so many things – all this in the face of illness and injury. Not bad for a once whinging pom!

I am so thrilled with my day and the good news that it brings on so many levels that I can hardly contain myself. Where joy has been missing for the 4 weeks since my accident, it is now present in abundance even though I have not yet recovered. Doing as I am told (for once!) and accepting everything without complaint for days on end has produced what I was told it would: joy in the moment with resultant good fortune.

I see that I have squandered so much precious energy suffering and then moaning about doing so. More importantly, I have deprived myself of much, even more precious, happiness and well-being in the process. No point in lamenting it but let it be a lesson for the future, for every moment that is less than joyful is a waste and one for which I alone am responsible.

This being the case, I close my eyes, feeling the intense heat contrasting with the somewhat cooler breeze, not seeking a particular line of thought and instead just savouring the moment. As my tea is nearly finished, I countenance the continuance of this blissful state in whatever activity I am next drawn to. This daily indulgence of writing out of doors is but part of the joyful experiences on offer and soon must give way to another part. Will it be preparations for our forthcoming move to another room or will it be the review of that helpful email about work in readiness for a full and rewarding reply? I do not know and as my tea is still not quite finished, it does not matter. I do as I feel in the moment and refuse to worry about something in the future, no matter how soon – to do so is just too wasteful of this precious joy!

Surrender to a Cold Flow

It seems to get hotter every morning at the moment, as summer takes bite before the rainy season begins. My streaming cold feels out of place in such extreme heat and the hot air teases the lining of my now hypersensitive nose, bringing still more sneezes and a rush of clear liquid the supply of which appears infinite! Discomfort and minor irritation aside, I apply my new practice on accepting everything to alleviate my sense of suffering and instead take it for what it is, part of a gradual process of cleansing and renewing to allow me to flourish once more.

It is not easy to accept these discomforts for what they are but once I do so I am less stressed and upset by them as they pass by soon enough, some things faster than others. Long ago, I learnt not to fight a cold with medicine and to surrender to it to allow it to run its course. In so doing, it ended sooner - recovery was thus facilitated by this casual, trusting approach to minor illness. Medicines sometimes made me feel better but they usually prolong the illness and also they prevented the body shedding whatever it felt it needed to shed that had it ignite the dormant illness within. After all, illness comes when we resist something or have something to remove that we have taken into our body through trauma or emotional distress. With illness our body communicates the acts and omissions that bring it pain. If we listen, we learn and move on.

So with this in mind, tissues galore piling up in my waste bin, I am starting yet another hot day in this week I began so well by choosing calm. For the most part that chosen state has prevailed, allowing me to rest and recover. When fears, doubts and anxieties flutter by, once I see them for what they are they pass on, disinterested in this erstwhile victim they had targeted, leaving me just to be – peaceful, tame, unquestioning.

That last one is interesting: as many of us humans do, I seek to understand and know through many questions that set me on a path first of discovery and then control. So, when I simply make myself aware of what is but not question what I may or may not become (or if I stop when I notice I have started to question), I leave myself with no need to rack my brains and challenge everything, to be annoyed, resentful or frustrated. Instead, I savour the moment, sometimes just the very nothingness of an unused mind and wait until my feelings point the way to the next thing to be, do or have, to observe with curiosity but not to question. This then is the secret to much of inner peace – let go; do not question or challenge but be contented with whatever you have and wherever you are, for surely other things will follow when the time is right and resistance just delays their arrival still further.

So I am here, mug of tea nearly finished, pleased once more to have reached peaceful acceptance through my writing this stream of thoughts that come unprovoked, though welcome. This regular mental exercise is building a powerful muscle, peace through acceptance, and in time I will expand my ability to regenerate peace at will, on noticing the state that is less than peaceful and its probable cause, freeing me once more from a prison of anxieties and suffering, limiting my once questioning mind to curiosity, an observer of myself from a short distance rather than a drowning child without hope.

Living in the Flow

Here I am once more, alert to the beauty around me, aware suddenly that I differ from most people in that I seek to create the world around me as I would wish it to be, as much from dreams as from faith. Whilst I sometimes allow myself to be dragged down by some of my life’s circumstances, when I wake up and breathe the easy air all around and dwell on nothing else, it no longer has any meaning and instead curiosity prevails: what will I do today, how can I enjoy my day within the time available and the physical state of me and the world around me? I can never know for sure until the day is past, so I do not waste energy answering these questions and instead focus on just one which is ever-present during an enlightened day: what do I feel like doing now?

This simple question, when respected for its enormous contribution to my happiness, allows me to tap into a higher knowing within that guides my actions and my thinking wisely and still has me do the daily chores that are so important to function in life. So it does not ignore the otherwise tedious tasks that so often bother me but instead it allows me to do it when it feels right and thereby brings effortlessness to the whole activity.

When things are not forced but chosen for the obvious benefits, there is joy and satisfaction in everything. When others question this, if I am solid within my true self I am unshaken by the challenge to my wisdom and then, on less centred days, I may wobble for a while as my upbringing, based on obligations (“shoulds”), allows guilt to creep in and I either surrender to the guilt and ignore my wishes or I defend myself to no effect or purpose. Such negative surrender is, I am pleased to say, rare these days. Perhaps less so, however, is that deep rooted trait of mine, defensiveness. Fortunately, usually the happier state of inner peace prevails and I do as I wish, what feels right in the moment, and life then poses fewer threats and obstacles.

Choosing Inner Peace

This is it: a glorious, hot, sunny day; awake but not ready to go anywhere; is this not paradise? Why question such perfection for not fitting the mould of convention and expectation, for to do so surely destroys the joy in the moment, the realisation that everything is perfect if you let it be? Nothing is wrong; there are just temporary distortions and complications that mould our character but beyond that there is no purpose in resisting the inevitable. Just let it happen with curiosity as to what benefits it will bring your future life, if they cannot be seen already.

This natural state of acceptance and surrender allows me to soak up the morning light and take in the peaceful air that surrounds me this Monday morning. When I stop to notice, it is peaceful and the peace pervades me too, no longer wrestling with the thoughts and doubts to which I arose only to be distracted by shallow fantasies to avoid the pain and boredom.

Now I am free to enter whatever state of awareness I choose for my day and I choose eclectic calm, calm drawn from many sources: the early morning air, the sunshine, the trees in the inner courtyard, the birds singing, almost chanting, the slight clatter of dishes as the restaurant next door prepares for the day ahead, hopeful of more custom in these quiet times. As I look around me, becoming present to the many potential sources of peace and calm around me, I see the list is actually unlimited as I extend my awareness to the bright green new leaves on the trees, to the flowers, to the large colourful fish in the pond below, to the many people also beginning their day, their week, uncertain of what it will bring, perhaps wishing for fun and happiness, perhaps anxious and fearful of the challenges ahead. But for me, breathing deeply as I drink up the calm, the anxieties ebb and leave the mental beauty equivalent to the near-perfect smoothness of a white sandy beach as the latest tide withdraws.

This, then, is a lucky state of mind for a Monday morning, one that sets a happy tone for the day and week ahead. The choice is mine as to whether it continues or I let the noises of life break the inner peace like a delicate glass dropped to the floor by careless hands. I now make the obvious choice and patiently wait to see what the day actually brings.

Empty-headed and Conscious

I let my mind wander once again, for the joy in the freedom it entails. Alone with my thoughts, conscious of nothing in particular other than the intense heat around me, I absorb only the thoughts as they occur to me and wallow in their glory, as they come freely and without association or condition. It is as though each time I do this I tap into a channel within me, an inner stream of consciousness that appears to have no prompt or guide and just flows effortlessly. As I consciously now request of this inner stream something bold and inspiring for others, I await whatever comes to me from within with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension: curiosity for what it might offer forth; apprehension in case it is not as interesting or special as I would wish, having no control over the topic to be chosen or its content.

As I now start to write down whatever the stream has elected to reveal, I am now amidst still greater emptiness as I allow my mind to follow the direction it has been given by my heart and I discover the thought that has been chosen relates to my expertise in future times, the topics I will embrace as part of my journey in a foreign land in which I currently feel lost. This topic frightens my conscious mind, for fear that in future nothing worthy may flow and then I am done for, lost to the sands of time till death brings inevitable release. However, these thoughts from the inner stream are not constrained by fear and so I go on to discover the purpose in this flow and its purpose in my life.

I am freed by this practice and it shows me who I am by default rather than by design or pressure to perform: I am skilled, loving and careful. I wish to bring joy to the life of millions of my fellow humans and, in so doing, to my own. I will do this when time and experience allow and all that I have created for myself as dreams will be mine in reality. This I find intriguing since I feel ever more remote from such dreams at this time of extreme hardship and discomfort, but I know it is for the best overall and I welcome its end when the time is right but seek it not to end early, for therein would lie a challenge to fulfilment of my desires. This I cannot abide: I have suffered so much, a little more won’t hurt, especially if I am empowered by the experience, as I am sure I will be.

So, this text reveals to me from within that despite my very human fears and doubts, all that I have asked for will be mine in time and to neglect or ignore that fact is the root of my suffering, for when I surrender to the process, even in pain, the arousal of the mind’s doubts and fears ends and, with it, inner peace and tranquillity are restored once more.

Rediscovering the Past

The logic of thought is an escape from reality designed to inhibit the flow of truth from the higher consciousness. It alienates us from what is so, leaving us exposed to trials and traumas of life worsened by their unreal interpretation taken as real by its logical roots. This is no mean assault on humanity, for in it lies the truth behind the façade that clouds every thought in every moment and leaves nothing to the imagination or to the desire from within. It is torture by another name that distorts our reality in any given situation and increases the chance of exposure to risk and, therefore, suffering.

This is not normal but has become so thanks to the official blanket of ideas in current societies. No longer able to manifest truth in ideas, the heart is left alone and isolated beyond endurance and becomes the victim of a lie called “truth” which is not served by logic in ways which we assume to be the case. We suffer inordinately from this over-exposure to verification rather than placing reliance on the natural radar for truth within our being.

This alienation of our true selves serves to hurt us and makes us feel alone, unprotected and exposed in error to a false reality that has no basis in truth. This pain of loneliness exposes our hearts once more to the fear of birth and death at the hands of another whom we cannot control or manoeuvre as we will.

Long gone are the archives of true societies that eclipsed our current ones for their faith in justice and truth. Their return is but a distant dream at best for those whose wish is to return once more whence we came, those who are but lonely prophets of doom for the many who eschew their values and dreams. Yet return they will, for it is an inevitable consequence of years of suffering at the hands of nothingness that currently prevails. Long may it then reign, for good and for ever!

Tapping into the Inner Self

The thought in each moment imposes an obligation on the writer to transcribe whatever thought enters his mind, free of all constraint and judgment, liberated by the desire for truth to emerge, free of all thoughts and controls by third parties, thereby releasing the inner self to the ether of freedom exalted by self belief and trust.

This new freedom asserts itself with increasing regularity as the trust builds and becomes a normal way of being in future. The release is final, the return seemingly impossible to countenance once the freedom has been tasted and enjoyed at this level. The thought that it might be otherwise terrifies, as the prospect of mental imprisonment is as repulsive as the prospect of physical entrapment once the joy of freedom has been tasted and appreciated in all its glory.

Nothing I espouse is more important than this notion of mental freedom and creativity. Through this medium our heart learns to express its deepest emotions and concepts with profound clarity that no-one can surpass or undo. This joy of inner freedom tastes divine in every sense of the word and nothing you can say or do can undermine the special significance of true self expression.

Rejoice in the freedom and never forget that it is a gift as natural as time itself and as much valued as gold and silver in abundance. Reflect on this: without this new found freedom, what value or purpose has your life remaining? None, for once savoured, anything less meaningful is distasteful and unwelcome, at best a reminder of the hell from whence we all came.

So rejoice then in each moment of freedom we are blessed with, that it may last longer and give our life its true meaning and purpose. Rest not assured of comfort in its absence, for it is not real or true, just a sham designed to hide the pain of what is not real that you may survive in its absence. But it is not long before this false wall crumbles and reveals the falsehood behind its stature that, once disclosed, leaves us forlorn and without purpose or true desire, until the very façade is renewed and falls once more ‘ad infinitum’ until the moment of death and release surely follows.

This is no game, no apology for life, but an expression of possibility that lurks beyond our mind in hopeful resistance to the anarchy and darkness that prevails amongst the many who eschew the truth and the joy it brings. Think then of what you will do, released from your chains, the burdens of your false life, only to feel the joy expressed openly and in abundance. What could your heart enjoy and achieve, freed from false limitations and resultant fears? What would you do if your heart set you free and no longer accepted any limits on your future growth?

Reflect on this and let your true voice speak out loud, unafraid of what it could or would mean, instead delighted by its unencumbered nature, free to breathe in life and give of yourself, for this is all there for you who dare give up the notion that you are free and allow you to seek the freedom your head fears will bring pain and suffering, for it is not true and is designed to keep you from joy permanently. This is not the true you but some false edifice built up over years of suffering and of demands in payment for love and attention received. This is not real nor worthy of you, so fear not giving it up and surrender instead to your true will and desires from within and it will free you slowly but as surely as night follows day. Enjoy!

Random Flow Writing

In March 2009, I got into the habit of doing a short piece of "flow writing" every day for a while and some of these are set out in this blog where the exercise elicited something I think is worth sharing. Flow writing is often used to train people who want to learn to write effectively and creatively, to free the mind of its thoughts and limitations: it involves putting pen to paper (preferably not using a computer) and writing whatever comes into one's head without comment, though, judgement or even correction. At first it was sluggish and I find myself writing things like "I haven't a clue what to write at the moment...!" because the only rule is literally to write whatever comes forth. Anyway, though I have used this method many times before, so readers will be spared such dull material - some pieces never even made it to getting typed up and others that would not add anything to this blog.

The first in this series is somewhat descriptive but it shows how it can start, so I decided to include it anyway.

Random Flow Writing

Random scribbling on this page will, I hope, elicit something profoundly useful and meaningful to help me transcend my circumstances and the self-limiting beliefs that have me suffer more than I need. These words emerge freely and without thought as I put pen to paper with the intention to write in free flow. This process elicits more than when I try to produce “something of value” because it is unlimited, unlike my thinking.

This process of freeing the mind is a technique used by many who seek to rise above their own limitations to reach new heights of awareness and produce something truly revealing and helpful to mankind. It is a channel of consciousness that comes through when our thoughts end and we allow our mind to wander wherever it may go, like a stroll in a park or forest with no predetermined destination.

Expanding on this process for a minute, take the example of thinking in an organised fashion: it produces predictable results because it is limited to what it already knows, whereas this process is unlimited precisely because it is free and able to select consciousness at a random but high level. There is no need to go beyond what you know because what you know has no bearing on what you write. It will simply produce the best possible outcome for the thread of thought attached to. This process is easy and enjoyable as it elicits surprising things that stretch the mind’s traditional perceived boundaries into realms hitherto hidden from the mind.

Go back for a moment and look at what it is that has the mind limit itself in the first place: it is the belief that it is everything and merely seeks to know more to control its environment. This belief is an illusion and stifles its own development, for with freedom of thinking, the mind wanders blind on a journey within borders. It is not colourful or exciting in the way the free mind is, not able to roam and explore at will perceptions and restrictions hitherto thought real.

This process is therefore a very powerful one for findings oneself and one’s potential for fulfilment, for scholarly greatness as well as for practical uniqueness. It is the one method that has our true nature come forth.

Is This Not Heaven In Another Guise?

Another day, another experiment with flow writing.

Is This Not Heaven In Another Guise?

Is this not heaven in another guise? As I look out onto the courtyard beneath my simple but comfortable apartment in a glorious sunny morning, I feel serene, in love with life. Blessed with simple yet delicious food to sustain my body, a gorgeous companion and the chance to indulge myself in research for a book and in its actual writing, what more do I really need? In the face of total uncertainty I am happy, at peace, realising that in this state I am creative beyond my norm and ready to conceive that in time the solution to my challenges will come only when I am in this forgiving, calm place beyond the mind and its constant barrage of questions and doubts.

The words of the One, the source of all things, say it all:

“In every waking moment is an opportunity for life to be joyous or tortuous. Choose what you want for yourself, for the choice truly is yours and no-one else’s.

These thoughts are yours to use, to dwell upon for your betterment. They I offer to you in your despondency, for it is here that you will find your salvation.”

And so I choose joy today and for all days if only I can muster the energy to rise above my circumstances simply by being present to the miracles of life around me, the joy in the moment, even when the thought of the moment could as easily invoke fear. Astounding to some, this is indeed possible, even for a mind as busy as mine! This must be that elusive inner peace that I have sought for so long!

Peace Beyond the Noise

As I began to "go with the flow" in my new life, so did I experiment with "flow writing", writing without thinking, just spewing out whatever words came to mind unplanned, free of judgment, and I found great freedom of expression in doing so as my inner self threw up its most intimate thoughts, fears, doubts and delights.

Peace Beyond the Noise

As I detach myself from planned endeavour and put pen to paper, the ink flows easily as each word follows the last in an effortless surrender to my nature, my inner self whose voice is expressed freely in this way.  There is no "need", no pressure to achieve, just a loving effortlessness that is the expression of faith in myself and nature, another form of the ease with which night follows day.  At peace with myself in the early morning sun, the cool winds slowly giving way to warm breezes as the sun moves inexorably first towards its highpoint then on to its sleeping escape beyond the eye's reach.

I haven't a care in the world as I sit here and write, joy pouring from me in the face of worldly matters that somehow, almost magically, resolve themselves in time.  The doubtful voice within that whispers obligation gently slips away as I float on past the words and feel the truth of the moment whose voice is gentle yet powerful beyond all noise that would challenge my peaceful heart.


As I revel in this idyllic state and observe, as if from afar, the supposed challenges before me, I am almost amused, certainly curious, about how things will work out, as I am aware that at this time there is little else I can do but wait patiently for a signal, a call to the next step the powerful impact of which will come first from a feeling that turns into conscious thought and from there to plans and action.

As patience dictates my attitude and generates a creative vacuum of a peaceful mind and heart, I am in a fit state to notice the feelings so that in time they may become the actions that bring about my future, my dreams.  Each step enjoyable, nearly effortless, the surrender of the will to the self ends the struggle caused by false expectation and replaces it with blissful content.


Later, as I go about my day showered with the sense of inner peace and joy from my early morning reflections in the sunshine, my partner, who is not in the same state of mind and is indeed troubled in his thoughts, observes, "You look like a boy!", said without rancour or compliment but perhaps a little perplexity since we both face the same circumstances and uncertain future yet one of us is happy and the other distressed.  As I reflect on his words I am pleased, for in a space of peace, youthful vigour and childlike innocence and wonder are free to return.  How worry robs us of youth, of dreams, of joy!  How quickly peace restores them!