The Pain of Wrongful Attachment to a Solution

I tried so hard not to get attached to what I perceived was a possible source of funds to allow me to rent suitable accommodation when we move in 3 weeks, but I seem to have failed! When it did not work out as I had hope yesterday, I tried to remain calm and stable and indeed seemed to do well at first, if I was also a little disappointed. But having slept on it, I feel unsettled and quite upset, even a little sad and scared.

It simply means I have allowed myself to get attached to one of a million possible solutions because this was the only visible one and the others are not yet in sight. I only need one, after all. But my ego craves security and comfort and it is the source of this temporary suffering as it is running scared, afraid to trust the universe.

Even by my own logic, without the faith I normally enjoy, I can see that the universe has clearly mapped out the desired path and it is hardly likely to go to such pains to do that and then let me down at the last post! I can see that with this it is highly likely it will be supported in what a friend rather charmingly calls “Divine Time”.

At least by owning my pain, I can start to rise above it; denied, it would lie buried, gnawing away at me in secret. So, better the honesty about my fears and doubts as I can then choose to let them go and, indeed, as I write these words and thereby cast my doubts to the wind, the pressure eases and I feel a hint of peace that is ready for me to build on by bringing may attention to the universe and its undying love and support that I feel always when I am conscious of it. So, trust resumes as I recall the universe has never let me down and I believe will never desert me: if its plan should differ from the picture I have built of how it will look, so be it.

Divine presence within

Moving in wholeness

Living in joy and love

I surrender to your will.

Bring the radiance of your Light

Into my heart and mind

And merge with me
To manifest your will upon the Earth.*

* Source unknown