Another day dawns and the physical pain is still strong and extremely debilitating as the healing process continues to eject all the pent up negative energy from decades of subconsciously feeling worthless. As I stand back and observe myself undergoing this painful healing, I recognise that I am better off peacefully accepting the process, going with its natural flow, since it is ultimately in my best interests and, after all, nothing last forever.
Then, as I sat here poised to write today’s blog entry, a strong surge of sadness surfaces and I immediately see it for what it is, a deep sadness, the emotional pain of years of feeling worthless and all that it has cost me in life until now. It is quite breathtaking as I feel the buried sadness emerging from the depths of my being and I allow myself to be with the pain, to experience it and no longer deny it, and as I do so I fight back the tears that would otherwise flow, since I am for now in a public place!
However, I welcome this surfacing of hidden emotions (energy) that has been locked deep inside me for so long: I welcome it also for the firm evidence that it constitutes for the effectiveness of the healing process and for the prospect it offers for flourishing at long last in the wake of all the pain both physical and emotional. For this reason, again I say, I would not swap this important if unpleasant experience for anything.
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