Inner War and Peace

Pre-requisite for handling every situation in life is an ability to be centred and focused so that the correct solution is soon forthcoming and not blocked by fears and doubts that cloud the mind. To settle internal ‘disputes’, those imbalances within one’s whole self, is essential in this process: where internal war rages, peace is unknown and inconceivable and centredness goes out of the window.

By “war”, I am referring to the state of imbalance between the often conflicting needs of each and every part of us, mind body and spirit. When one or more parts run amok, regardless of the others, chaos reigns and pain ensues, unsettled and even on the rampage, we almost feel out of control. Taking back control in fair fashion first requires that we notice: noticing is the process of becoming aware that we are out of sorts, in other words, in a state of imbalance: the worse the feeling, the greater the chance that there is all out internal war!

Secondly, it requires identification: that is, the process of identifying what parts of our whole self are on the rampage or in revolt; it may be one part or it may be more and, indeed, the worse the crisis or discomfort, the more likely it is that the war involves more than one disgruntled part. For me, that part is usually the ever-fearful ego, though today an angry inner child has added his cries in the wake of more legal work which he fears will always be needed to make a living.

Once identified, the third step is to adopt diplomatic skills to bring the war to an end, addressing each part that is in revolt and hearing what it has to say, asking it what is wrong that it is so out of balance with the rest of one’s self. Listen and it will be told: you already know deep down so it merely has to surface to the conscious mind. Then find ways to reassure it, to negotiate with it to fulfil its needs and placate its anger and provide it with hope enough to allow it to accept your invitation to cease its sometimes selfish revolt and restore balance with the other parts.

So this is what I did today when, still feeling somewhat down about my apparent lack of success in getting myself known online: the ego had become afraid I might not ever succeed, fearful of my not being up to the task, of not being special enough to stand out in such an enormous online crowd. When I asked that part of me whether it acknowledged that with patience and persistence I had always come through in the past, it conceded that it had (I heard a feint “yes”!) and as I asked it to “back off” and restore balance, I felt somewhat better immediately.

But there was more and I knew it: it was the little me aged about 8, the inner child still angry at decades of denial of its dreams in favour of a life to prove my worth to the world as a lawyer, in revolt over the most recent spate of much needed income-producing work yesterday that, far from pleasing him, had made him angry and fearful that it would always be the same. So I took him too “aside” and reiterated my promise to follow our heart and do what I have always dreamed of and pointed to the forthcoming move as evidence of that commitment. Once accepted, i asked for his support in doing the remaining legal work today as well as I possibly can and in good heart for the sake of the loyal client who deserves the best from us and our self respect. Then, as quickly as the ego had signed its treaty of inner peace, so did my inner child, and harmony thereby restored, I felt a huge burden lift from my shoulders and calm returned, ready for the day ahead.

Fascinating: from near depression to healthy balance in just minutes and by diplomatic means, not a drug in sight! This relatively new method of mine really works!