Today our trip to visit my partner’s second cousin has brought us out into the country for the first time in many weeks, thus feeding my craving for nature, that source of sustaining energy, energy that feeds my heart and my connection with the universe. Just being among trees, in peace and with clean air lifts me like a refreshing drink or healthy meal. How ever did I manage to live for so long in the choking energy of London, such a large, intense presence that drains sooner than nourishes. Yet for all that, I still love London; I just cannot live there any more.
The much quieter and smaller Chiang Mai has also become too much for me and I cannot wait until we make the leap at last into nature in the relative paradise that is Krabi. That thought sustains me as I slowly address the issues that need resolving before that leap can be made, now just five short weeks away.
As the co-creator of my existence, I do what I can when it feels right but, as for the things that are beyond me to change, I simply make the request of the universe, knowing it will sort things out when the time is right. I can accept that and be at peace or I can fight it and the futility of doing so will cause me stress, which is suffering by another name, suffering that I can choose to experience or not. The choice is mine and mine alone and I choose inner peace.
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