“You are not welcome here anymore!”

“You are not welcome here anymore!” These words sting as surely as a deadly snake and they keep me in my place for far too long. They show me how gullible I have been and how disconnected from my true self. The pain of realising that I led my life in the belief that I was somehow worse than others because I was not welcome in the life of someone dear to me had caused me to pause and reflect and somehow synthesise all that took place as a result so that I may move forward and be free.

I found the source of much past pain and it was ugly. It shocked me and touched me at the same time. I feel so loathed, so rejected and yet I also see that in time I will be able to manage the pain and move beyond the false decisions I made about myself, about who I am.


Oh, gosh, this was so far removed from anything I expected, from my known world, no wonder the pain lay buried so deep, so decked in the paraphernalia of life so as to ignore the real source of suffering, the indignation caused by the awareness at what took place and what I made it mean.

I am shocked and it will take time to adjust to this alternate reality that nature has laid at my door. With it will come freedom I never though possible, that much I can tell. Now let it rest and settle and see what transpires. Tomorrow is another day and it will bring new hope as the dust settles and the emotions are free once more.

A Christmas Birthday

It has never been told before, but I have suffered immeasurably over the years due to past decisions about my innate worth and “lovability” and secretly they have gnawed away at me, day in and day out, until one day the pain was too much to bear any longer and and it burst open, a flood of tears and buried pain that spewed forth, wretched in appearance, an ugly truth no longer denied.

It is hard at first to be with the truth yet it also sets me free and opens up fresh opportunity in life. Now as I await further fresh insights and understanding to complete the picture, I am calm, trusting that with it will come inner contentment with who I am and what I have become, pleased beyond words by the enormous changes in me that leave me in love with life and ready to venture forth, unafraid, inspired by the truth and the light and all this it has brought to me and may now bring to others.

God is so kind to me, its gentle, loving and protective arms firmly wrapped around me now, never letting me go, yet I am free and no longer burdened by what I saw of myself as a child, the ego personality, that mirror of other people’s thoughts and opinions rather than my true self. Now I am ‘me’ at last, loving, generous of spirit and committed to our growth into the forthcoming new age of man.

May this Christmas be the birthday of a new spirit within me, a free spirit no longer weighed down by unreal doubts and fear, in love with life itself and the wonders that lie ahead.

On the Twelfth Day

Eleven days out of twelve shall you suffer your own creation and on the twelfth day there will be a reckoning, a balancing of man with nature. There will be no more harrowing tales of exploitation and rigid thinking; instead, all will be flexible and fluid, a natural ebb and flow like a beautiful dance with nature that lifts you so you can soar to new heights.

Eleven days out of twelve shall you toil and in the end, when it is over, relax and watch unfold a miracle of existence, a Divine show of power and love that thenceforth no man may put asunder, for the wealth of the human spirit will flow with abundance and joy and know no bounds. No more aching hearts adrift in a sea of knowing, only peace and tranquility, the dawn of a new age of man.

Eleven days out of twelve shall you know yourself through your denials and ever-present fears. Then on the twelfth day shall you know your greatness once more and be free to pursue your heart’s contentment. Nothing shall obstruct your quest for truth and fulfilment and instead shall you be at peace in heaven on earth.

A Time to Cherish Forever

If ever there was a time that I could cherish forever, it is now. As I grow beyond my troubles and strife to reach new heights of awareness, I learn new things that open my eyes more fully, this time to reveal an ugly reality that leaves me feeling hurt to my core: the awareness that I have given too much and have been exploited as a result hurts me a great deal, yet it empowers me too, as I am responsible for it, driven by a need to prove my worth to everyone.

There is no reason for me to continue with it; I can simply let them go, they who would abuse me and exploit me and still rail me for my inadequacies. In time, the pain of the realisation will fade, leaving in its wake a clear space in which to build a truly magnificent future and that is precisely what I will do and I feel relieved of this burden, liberated once and for all, no turning back.

Connectivity and Maximising our Lifetime’s Potential

Connectivity is something given special focus in the universe. It is something of paramount importance to our understanding of our existence: we are all one, connected with everything around us. We are only in separate existence by dint of a mind that compartmentalises for purposes of experience and growth, for expansion of our energy field and, therefore, of the whole universe. As we expand, we once again connect with ourselves and that in turn allows us to add to our experience at ever greater levels until we achieve what our spirit set out to achieve in our lifetime.

This constant expansion is a reality that belies all human and other existence. It is the background to everything. Without it life would have no purpose. By it we come to know ourselves in time as God itself, as the co-creator of everything in our world. When we step up and claim our power, our voice for the universal consciousness, we enable ourselves to function at optimum capacity and to maximise growth and awareness.

The choice to do so is ours: we can hide away for a whole lifetime if we want, even for many, but in the end we will move forward to expand the known universe in ways we shall one day marvel at. I, for one, have chosen this path of maximum fulfilment, “supercharged” by nature and the universal consciousness that lies at its heart, a choice made rock solid by my commitment to it.

Forever and a Day?

‘Forever and a day’ is how long I thought it would take for me to feel truly connected with the One, the universe, and with life itself, but it has come much faster than I ever thought possible. Since I aligned myself with nature all around me, my spirit has lifted enormously and the pace of change increased beyond all recognition. It is this that underpins my growth and freedom in all areas, personal, business, spiritual and creative.

Now, without it, I would feel lost and without purpose or direction. It is as if I have transformed myself from a lost and lonely soul to a shepherd gathering sheep, gently and lovingly tending them, blissfully tranquil and in tune with nature from within as much as from without. The toll for this exquisite lifestyle is non-existent, the cost nil. It is open and free to us all who would seek it and my joy will be to share it with the world and for my trouble I will be handsomely rewarded.

Taken by storm as I have been by the latest revelations on my path, I am at peace, confident, alive, vibrant and full of creative energy and excitement, all this in a matter of two days since my healing began and the final shackles fell away; all this through aligning myself with nature, attuning myself to its pure, distinct and very loving vibration. There is a God...inside us all.

How to Dream Without Suffering

A natural characteristic of being human is to wish for things, for happiness, fulfilment, for possessions and even status, yet to do so brings us so much unnecessary suffering. Why? It has to do with how we wish and pray: we expect it or hope for it “someday”, yet we fail to prepare ourselves to receive, to ‘allow’ our wishes into reality.

It is born of a desire to have, fuelled by a myriad different inauthentic beliefs about ourselves and life. Once we make a wish, we risk disappointment through a whole series of potential pitfalls that befall us all at some time: impatience, self doubt, lack of belief, frustration, ingratitude and even annoyance at the lack of fruition.

If you want something for yourself or your life, better to prepare yourself properly, first by clearly imagining your choice of desire, then feeling it vividly as if it were already real. Once this is done, write it down and ‘park it’: leave it alone, perhaps just revisiting it from time to time (with equal vividness of imagination and feeling) to reinforce your desire, but leave it at that.

Don’t lament it still not being real or curse the time it is taking; trust it will be real in time and let go of your desire. This way it will eventually be real, without doubt. Fall into a trap, a pitfall, and your dream will be delayed or may even vanish into a pit of foiled desires. The choice is yours.

The Wonders of Nature

When the sound of nature gets itself heard at a deep level, there is a peace, a profound tranquility that exudes from it, whether it be the sound of rain as it beats down on the ground and on leaves of bushes or trees or the gushing of water flowing in a busy brook or the crashing of waves onto the shore. Each carries a charge of peace which is injected into our spirit to ignite in us inner tranquility and satisfaction.

Just look for a moment at sunshine streaming through the tree canopy and the joy as the vivid colours and gleaming, crystal-like sparkling rays pierce the moment and leave in their wake a soothing gratitude for life and nature. Even as the cloud then obscures the sun and rain pours forth, feel the vibrant energy of the storm that bring life to almost everything it touches and creatures of all groups stir into action, whether for safety, for shelter or for nourishment, it is a moment of extreme life, a burst of energy that stirs in me a sense of wholeness within myself and oneness with the whole universe.

How wonderful is nature, in all its aspects, the balance and the purity. Nothing is at odds; all is precisely as it should be, for even when the sun and rain bring death to plants and animals, new life is also born and the whole cycle begins once more. Nothing is every truly lost or broken, it merely passes into a new phase, a new beginning.

Begin at the Beginning

“Begin at the beginning and take one step at a time”. There are many reasons why it is better to choose a path and then start on it without hesitation, even if the path is not clear beyond the first few yards. To take these steps one at a time is easy and painless, since to contemplate the entire journey may be to sabotage it before it has begun.

This is why the universe generally gives, at best, a brief glimpse of the goal but only casts light on the path in small, bite-size pieces. It is a kindness that prevents fear of insufficiency or inadequacy from aborting the whole journey and also a test of one’s fortitude, patience, faith and commitment.

I used to want to see clearly ahead with everything mapped out and even unforeseen eventualities allowed for as much as possible in the false expectation of ease and security. In fact, far greater ease comes from going with the flow, one step at a time, blind though one may be to most of what lies ahead.

Forgiveness and its lack...the collective result

I have been reflecting on something a longstanding Jewish friend said about forgiveness recently and how, if he were able to forgive the Holocaust, he would know he had really reached a high level of consciousness. I have no answers and know relatively little about the Jewish community though my roots some 125 years ago may have been Jewish. I have always been fascinated by what took place and naively believed for a long time that it was the only example of of such severe atrocities but my knowledge of history plus subsequent events in places like Cambodia and the former Yugoslavia proved that to be very wrong.

So, when such atrocities occur, how can one forgive and what are the impacts on the collective community of not doing so? I don't have many answers and so I posed the question in an email to that friend and copied it to two other mutual Jewish friends in the hope that they could cast some light on the subject for me.

The email read:

Dear Craig

In quiet moments, a couple of times I thought about what you said about forgiveness of the Holocaust and how you will know you have truly mastered forgiveness and yourself when you can achieve that. Though I have nothing to add as to how to do it or anything useful (since it is such a big subject), I did however wonder what the impact of lack of forgiveness was likely to be doing to the Jewish community as a whole (not each and every individual but the generic group or majority).

I start from an individual perspective on forgiveness (as I said, I did 3 short videos on the subject that are on YouTube) and the reason I chose it was because, in my life, forgiveness was what liberated my spirit to allow me to find my true self, freedom and happiness, allowing my spirit to soar to new heights of awareness.

On an individual basis, a lack of forgiveness eats at the person from inside and also holds them back in life. As I often say, it is like swallowing poison expecting the person you are angry or resentful at to drop down dead! It is a silent poison, one that may not be at all apparent in its impact and its impact will indeed vary according to the intensity of the anger and resentment and the nature of the individual concerned but my brother's disease of cancer was a typical reaction for being "eaten away" - the body reflects its energetic balance or imbalance and how the imbalance is typically expressed (as in "he is eaten away with...") is often a clue as to how it will show up.

One further step beyond this is the fact that in reality everyone and everything is connected, all one, part of a greater whole that some call God, Allah or the universe. That oneness means that whatever applies on an individual level will also apply on a collective level, whatever the size of the relevant collective group involved (be it just 5 people, a million or hundreds of millions).

So this then begs the question, "What could be the hidden impact on the Jewish community or at least those that are still affected by the Holocaust?" I have no answers for you or even ideas on how it shows up (though it must have an impact and that the impact must be a negative one), but I thought I would share my intrigue with you and if you have a moment of quiet reflection, perhaps you could dwell on it and perhaps share any insights or observations with me.

Incidentally, I am not suggesting anyone "should" forgive the Holocaust: I don't believe in "shoulds" and people must always do what feels right for them. I am just intrigued to understand forgiveness at a still deeper level, on a collective level, and if I too get any further thoughts on it I will let you know.

Best wishes

Maitland

PS I am copying this to June as I would like to hear what she and Leon have to say on the subject.

Temporary Seclusion

Temporary seclusion has its merits in life: it allows for reflective contemplation that in time expands and becomes a haven in an otherwise busy world. Here I am sat outside in the early evening as the sun sets and I feel peace and contentment in this space created for reflection, all this despite the recent challenges and upheavals, especially my brother’s recent illness and death.

Here in my haven there is space for me, for remembrance of my brother and for quiet contemplation of my feelings, even for release of pain. So it is that I while away the period of dusk until darkness falls and mosquitoes begin to distract me from my state of inner peace. Before I go back inside, I call to my brother’s spirit to join me to enjoy the moment together and to allow him to watch me pen these words, he who, as a baby, used to call me “Pen” (for some inexplicable reason) and who so loved my ability to write movingly from the heart.

As I talk away (just in my head!), I share my happiness with him (the only exception to it being my losing him). I show him my new home which I had hoped he and his wife would one day visit, our lovely dog and this tranquil setting that so soothes me and feeds my creativity.

The choice to include him in my new life here is one I make from time to time in the days since his death as it comforts me to know he is there and to express things I would have done had he survived to make a trip that I know he would have loved so very much.

It is not for him that I do it but for me since I know he is happy and free and moving on beyond the struggle of this, his latest life and incarnation. For me, sad though I am, I take solace in this healing time spent alone with my thoughts and my dear brother in this temporary seclusion, in my latest haven.

Death ... an Opportunity for Reappraisal and Renewal

It is an endless journey we undergo, from one life to another, with limitless possibilities for each of them, yet when all is said and done, each life contains a core purpose or goal. That purpose or goal is set aside by the soul as a main aim that is never forgotten whilst other intrusions perhaps cloud the picture for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime. This purpose then lies buried beneath the surface and, if not uncovered, frustrates the soul whose aim is self betterment and growth.

If we venture far off track and find it too hard to get back to the chosen path, we may eventually lose the desire to live altogether, as our soul, frustrated, decides to “cut and run” and try for another life in which to fulfil the goal in due course since it seems to be “getting nowhere fast” in the current life. This explains why some otherwise happy individuals sometimes suddenly die with no apparent explanation or cause, clearly long before the normal time for expiry.

To understand this allows recognition of the “bigger picture” of life and can heal those left behind, since they then know that their loved one has, at a higher self or soul level, chosen to leave in order to continue their journey in another mortal form in later years. It is this comforting thought that is then available for others to soothe their pain of loss and to move on with their own life.

More importantly, they have cause for reflection and assessment of their own life and journey, a moment to take stock, learn lessons and make choices that are empowering and uplifting. It is that aspect of death that is a cathartic healing for others left behind, indeed a sort of gift amidst all the pain. In time, their wounds will heal and they will have been blessed with an opportunity for reappraisal and renewal, bringing fresh energy and light to their own journey. So death is more than an end of a life, it is a wholesale spring-cleaning of the mind, body and soul for those left behind, if they would but seize the opportunity for what it is.

Julian Robert Kalton 1962-2010...may he rest in peace

The following are the words I have asked to be read at my brother's funeral today just 24 hours after he passed away after a painful struggle with cancer:

"Thank you for coming today to pay your respects to my dear brother Julian. Please know that, although I am some 6,000 miles away, my heart is with you all, as will be my brother as he watches over this sad goodbye with curiosity and gratitude.

Julian’s relatively short life had more than its share of “downs”, but there were also many “ups”: his colourful if chequered career, his love of cars and his life in Spain all brought him much joy. But nothing can match his total love for his adoring wife, Susana, his lovely daughter, Johanne, and her equally lovely sister Rocío whose absence for so long broke his heart. In this love, he truly excelled.

Julian spent half of his short life in Spain and was indeed more Spanish than English: despite remaining an ardent Chelsea supporter, he was an equally ardent supporter of Real Madrid. My brother may have been no angel, but above all he was a loving, passionate and honest man. I only wish he could have cared for himself as much as he cared for Susi and his lovely girls. That his anger at his extreme and unjust treatment was too strong to allow him to find room for forgiveness meant that it literally ate him from inside. May his death be a lesson to those of us who harbour buried anger and resentment, because forgiveness, as I have found, is a gift to oneself, maybe more than for the person we forgive. Unaddressed, it is a poison we swallow, expecting the other person to die.

On behalf of my brother, I thank Susana and her wonderful family whose love, friendship and patience saw him through so many unhappy years. I too am extremely grateful to you all for everything that you have done for my brother: you will always be welcome in my home. In this I know that I speak for my family too. I ask you to care now for dear Susi whose heart is broken: help her find reason to find herself and reason to live beyond Julian’s passing. Susi, I love you and invite you to come and stay with us as soon as you feel ready to travel so that we can give back to you some of the undying love and comfort you gave to Julian for so long and now need for yourself.

I now wish to address Julian himself:

You are at peace now, my dear brother, and may God hold your hand and comfort you always. There are no places to hide anymore and no need to do so any longer. Now recharge your batteries and give yourself time to recuperate form the challenges of your journey in this life, as there will be another time for you to find what was missing in this life that called you home so abruptly.

Please visit us often and give us the comfort of knowing you watch over us who love you and mourn your loss. Let us feel your presence, your love and your playfulness; let us take solace in knowing that you are now happy and that we will one day be reunited when our time too is up; let us feel your warm, tight hug whose energy spoke a thousand words. Bless you Julian, you will be sorely missed and I love you very much."

The following is my imperfect attempt to translate it into Spanish:

Spanish version:

"Muchas gracias a todos por haber venido aquí hoy para presentarle últimos respetos a mi querido hermano, Julian. Por favor sepan que, aunque sea 6,000 millas de distancia de vosotros, mi corazón está con todos vosotros, como será mi hermano como él vela por este triste adiós con curiosidad y gratitud.

La vida relativamente corta de Julian había más que su parte de "bajas", pero también hubo muchos buen momentos: su carrera colorida y con muchos altibajos, su amor de coches y su vida en España le trajo mucha alegría. Pero no hay nada que a la igualdad de su amor total para su esposa adoranda, Susana, su hermosa hija Johanne y su hermana igualmente hermosa, Rocío cuya ausencia durante tanto tiempo le partió el corazón. En este amor, él se destaca verdaderamente.

Julian pasó la mitad de su corte vida en España y es que él fue más español que inglés: a pesar de seguir ardientemente el Chelsea, fue un hincha igualmente ardiente del Real Madrid. Sea que mi hermano no era un ángel, pero más que todo, era un hombre cariñoso, apasionado y honesto. Sólo deseo que podría haber atendido a sí mismo tanto como le importaba Susi y sus chicas encantadoras. Que su ira en su tratamiento extremo e injusto era demasiado fuerte para que pudiera encontrar espacio en su corazón para el perdón significa que literalmente se lo comió por dentro. Que su muerte sea una lección para aquellos de nosotros que albergan enterrada ira y resentimiento, porque el perdón, como yo lo he encontrado, es un regalo para uno mismo, tal vez más que para la persona que perdona: sin tratarlo, es un veneno que nos tragamos, esperando que la otra persona a morir.

En nombre de mi hermano, le agradezco a Susana y su familia maravillosa que el amor, la amistad y la paciencia lo vieron a través de años infelices tantos. Yo también estoy muy agradecido a todos vosotros por todo lo que habeis hecho por mi hermano: siempre serais bienvenido en mi casa. De este, sé que hablo para toda mi familia tambien. Vos pido que cuideis ahora querida Susi cuyo corazón está roto: ayudarla a encontrar razones para encontrarse a sí misma y la razón de vivir más allá de Julian pasar.

Susi, te quiero mucho y te invito a que venga y se quede con nosotros tan pronto como se sienta listo para viajar para que podamos devolverte algunos de los amor eterno y el confort que le dios a Julián por tanto tiempo y ahora necesita de ti mismo.

Quiero ahora dirigirme a Julian mismo:

Estás en paz ahora, mi querido hermano, y que Dios tome tu mano y te conforte siempre. No hay lugares para esconderse y no hay necesidad de hacerlo por más tiempo. Ahora recargue las baterías y darte tiempo para recuperarte forma los retos de tu viaje en esta vida, ya que habrá otra oportunidad para que encuentre lo que faltabas en esta vida que te llamó a tu “casa” de manera tan abrupta.

Por favor visítenos a menudo y nos das la tranquilidad de saber que velas por nosotros que te aman y lloran tu pérdida. Que sintamos tu presencia, tu amor y tu alegría; que tomemos consuelo en saber que estás contento y que algún día nosotros reunirán cuando nuestro tiempo se ha acabado; que sintamos tu abrazo cálido, apretado cuya energía se habló más que mil palabras.

Que Dios te bendiga Julian. Te echaremos mucho de menos y te quiero mucho."

The Unstoppable Path to True Freedom

Freedom entails two things: first, the realisation that in order to be free one must be free of false constraints or perceptions based on assumptions and rigid rules designed to complicate in order to dominate and control; secondly, the awareness that to be free is a treasured state to be guarded fiercely at all costs., so that nothing can sway you or bring you back into a lesser state of mind, for freedom is an attitude of mind as much as anything else.

It is the culmination of consciously choosing to rise above the false perceptions of the mind and the rigid rules and standards set by others who would contain or control you, no matter what the consequences. Until you can say you have truly attained this state of mind, of inner peace, freedom is just another illusion, a vague and distant hope. There is but one freedom, absolute freedom, and it is one of the highest states one can achieve, only one step short of the ultimate state, that of unconditional love, so its attainment is not easy yet it is a most worthy endeavour and commitment since to aim wholeheartedly at achieving it will set the spirit free and allow great things to occur along the way.

Don’t be daunted by its achievement: all great things are done one step at a time, not all at once. Once in motion, the journey acquires a momentum of its own and there can be no turning back, only forward: once started, reversal would seem inconceivable and truly repulsive. For me, I would sooner die that give up or go backwards, since ‘en route’ the commitment is unequalled by any other ambition as it opens up so much potential and brings such enormous satisfaction.

On the Verge of Paradise

There can be few good reasons for having left a life of relative comfort in the West for a life of constant challenges in the East but one of them is satisfaction or fulfilment, an opportunity to develop oneself beyond the bounds of conventional living. Having done so, I feel less than inclined to return to ‘normality’ since it is very restrictive, robbing one of time and excitement in the short stint we call life.

Having now abandoned past attachments to country and friends, to career and even loved ones, I venture forth on a new track, remote from the world of security and familiarity I once knew, in favour of an adventure worthy of my life’s effort.

Starting again as I did at 50 has certainly had more than its fair share of challenges and every day brings lessons on life that before lay buried beneath the rubble of a collapsed empire that was my life, until I wrestled them free of the wreckage and took them on board wholeheartedly.

It is there for anyone who chooses a full life, a life of inner fulfilment and outer expression of self through the worthy pursuits of a heart’s desires. There is nothing worthy in chasing fame or fortune at the cost of inner contentment and fulfilment. So equally there is nothing worthy in denied desires. A balance is found between the material and the spiritual when uncovering one’s true desires and acting upon them with fortitude and grace, with patience and faith.

It takes courage to give up all one has known to pursue a new and less certain path, yet to do so brings untold joy and learning to expand the soul. I have never looked back with envy or desire, only forwards towards a dream fulfilled in the moment every day in almost every way, from the freedom to be whatever I want to its very expression in everything I create for myself along the way.

There is no shortfall in expectation in the end: it all comes to order in time. You just need to trust and be patient. So it is that I sit here on the banks of the Mekong River between Laos and Thailand and on the verge of a move of home to a paradise I have dreamed of but never expected so soon, with all the joys to come from a lifestyle in nature and by the sea and from the pursuits of the heart that will soon reward me generously.

Is that not worth a risk or two, a leap of faith here, a dash of courage there? Of that I have no doubt. What I find hard to understand is why anyone would choose otherwise!

Throwing Down the Gauntlet

Here I am on my way to Laos once more, possibly for the last time for a visa run at least, and I am alone with my music and my beloved Macbook Pro! Our affair began but a few months ago and I fear it may be a lifetime thing. It is like having a portable office, studio and entertainment centre all wrapped into one gloriously sexy package! It is pretty much everything they say it is but I fear I am in danger of looking like an Apple salesman, so enough said!

I am tired yet not ready to sleep since there is another 11 hours before we arrive and I am buoyed up by things at home. I just ran through our recent photos of the Loi Kratong Festival and there were the two main focuses of my private life, my two other beloveds whose loyalty is not flaunted by my dalliance with another love, my Apple Mac! Those other two beloveds are my partner Than and my 8-month old dog, Lucky. Just the expressions on their faces, that tongue hanging long and thirstily from Lucky’s over-cute face melts my heart and I look forward to my return home in less than three days.

I left a challenge for my partner, an invitation for him to step up and claim his own greatness in life, seeking from him and for him a promise to go for it, for the best life he can possibly have, for true freedom and self expression. I need someone equally committed to themselves to be strong together, to support each other on our journeys that are not always easy to say the least. I love him dearly and so much that I really want that for him, yet it is his choice, not mine. One thing, however, is that if he does not choose himself, he does not choose me. I cannot live with someone who is not growing alongside me.

Far from rejecting my recent raising of this as an issue, he saw that I was right and this gives me great hope for our future together. It takes a lot to step into such a role and it is not for everyone, yet the potential rewards are great, greater than the inevitable challenges along the path. Thought it is his own journey, when two people share such a commitment to themselves they can care for and share for each other in ways that are not possible with others less committed, less caring about their own future and their fulfilment of their life purpose.

He has yet to find his own and it will take time and patience from us both to allow him the space to grow and find his path, his vocation, but that is my commitment in return, if he makes that promise to himself, to support him one step at a time and to be patient as he takes each step, sometimes making inevitable mistakes along the way, just as I have done many times since I made a like choice nearly 8 years ago now. I have a head start perhaps and can help him in that yet his path is his and it will differ from mine and what a mistake it would be to impose myself on him as a mere copy rather than a beautiful expression of the uniqueness that is him.

So, I await my return and his considered response with more than a little anticipation and yet in my heart I know he will make it and, therefore, so will we.

The Fall of the Human Empire

There will soon be a period of mourning as we awaken to what we have done to each other and to our planet. During this period of mourning we will grieve the lost ones, the races, species and plants; we will grieve the injured and the maimed, the scars left by mankind’s abuse of power and control, scars on humanity and scars on the face of our dear Mother Earth.

To awaken to this is to awaken to a nightmare and find oneself in hell, a hell of our own making and one whose end is not as easy as the awakening itself and will involve many years of devoted recompense and toil until we understand what we have done and how to avoid its recurrence. It is not only the governments and the corporations but we the people who have sat silently back and let this happen, turning a blind eye time after time, we who treasure our comfortable lifestyles and conveniences the real cost of which is way beyond the money we pay for them since it costs us our very humanity and our connection with nature, with all there is.

As I slowly awaken to my own responsibility, my role in this, I see it is everywhere, pervading almost every aspect of my life from the clothes I wear to the tools I use in my daily life, from my hygienic home environment to the roads I travel and the means by which I do so. Indeed, there is little I do that is not part of this complex, almost ubiquitous web of exploitation and abuse. I cannot handle it all in one go, so overwhelming would it be, but just one step at a time: for me, it started with a deep sadness at all the detritus of a well-packaged and branded material addiction, all the plastic bottles, bags and cartons piled ever higher and buried in shallow graves, forever a testament to this era, perhaps the darkest period in human history, an era we once thought so advanced (“You’ve never had it so good”!).

I suppose the Romans must have felt equally arrogant in their glory until their Empire fell about their ears. So now we face the Fall of the Human Empire and from what remains will be sculpted a land of Pan, a garden of Eden, inhabited only by those who now stand for something better and respect the true sources of our abundance and surrender to it our need to control and dominate.

Standing back from this piece, it is interesting to note that my last few blog entries, drawn from my inner self without conscious thought, have repeatedly shown the folly of our current world and lifestyle and the need to stand for something altogether better and more enlightened.

The Search for the Missing Something

There is a strong will, at present, to be more spiritual in life, to fill the gap left by the abandoned religions, people seeking something more from life than mere material satisfaction, people seeking inner peace and happiness, a respite from the relentless onslaught of attacks from the media in the form of advertising and other inappropriate images of a material obsession with skin-deep beauty and with possessions rather than things that really matter, that lift our spirit.

Once people begin to feel this loss, this missing something, there is no turning back as people fear drowning in a sea of nothingness, inconsequentialities that surround us at every turn, from Press and television to films and even theatre, awash with trivia, with shallow expectations that neglect the heart and soul and focus instead on feeding us with sickening schmaltz.

Rigour is what is wanted: a rigorous review of values held dear for too long that lack the tenacity or depth required to heal our pain and allow us to step beyond this world into a new reality encompassing all that it takes and means to be truly human and free. As we start to peel away the layers of illusion, of false gods and values, we begin to see a new, natural beauty emerge that was, in fact, there all the time yet hidden from our view.

It is no easy task, this stripping away of our past and our societal norms, but when we do so, what slowly emerges is a vision of how Utopia can become ‘now’, how near and yet how far away is a world that now seems to be a dream or even fantasy, just around the corner yet still elusive for the time being. But it will not be long before we are free to see things for what they are and to emerge triumphant in a land of responsibility in which we see we are all, each of us, together responsible for manifesting the world in which we live and just one step further and we will then give birth to that world we have secretly craved for so long.

The time is nigh; time for us to wake up and pursue our collective heart’s desires, to take responsibility for our world, to consciously express our choice and committedly turn it into reality.

Stand up Now for the World YOU Want

In time there will be many ways in which to pursue a lifetime, from simply emerging and allowing nature to take its course to grander pursuits born of commitment and courage. These various paths will be chosen at birth and pursued vigorously throughout life without the distractions in the current paradigm, distractions that emanate from all the dark energy pervading much of the planet. Once this is gone, the barriers to fulfilment downed, it will allow growth at a rate never seen before: humanity will rocket forward in a civilised fashion, having regard to the interests of others including those of the planet itself, everything in harmony at last.

A thousand years will see mankind transform itself from the relatively primitive present state to an advanced condition, enlightened and benevolent, trustworthy and superconscious. It will no longer be necessary to guard oneself against evil: a state of trust will be universally prevalent with nothing hidden, no agenda for self aggrandisement. It will truly be Heaven on Earth, a great adventure long awaited.

That is what we are working toward; that is what we have in prospect and the time has now come to begin a rapid transition away from the darkness of our recent history, to take responsibility for what we really want our world to be like and not simply to shrug our shoulders in disheartened resignation. Unless we do so, we will not only get more of the same but worse on a rapid downward spiral to certain collapse. That cannot be allowed to occur, the opportunity too precious to waste, so stand with me and the others already committed to this brave new world, if you dare, for what YOU truly want and refuse to settle for anything less.

Freedom is my God

I need time to absorb the things I have learnt recently. I feel the need to do so, to rest and do nothing and not to fill my day with endless things to justify my existence, my very presence on Earth. It is enough that I am here, willing to explore myself and to do what comes naturally, not to follow blindly what others say I should do. There is no need for this and in fact it drains me of vitality, of passion, because when I “do” from obligation, I do not do what really matters to me and that makes me sad beyond belief.

I have no need of others telling me what I should do and I now consciously shun such people, since they drain me too, sucking the lifeblood out of my tender heart. No more! I am free and will conform to no norms, for norms are a rigid, set pattern of beliefs and actions that inhibit and try to control me. Tell me no norms, for I may spew them in your face, as they make me sick to my core. Freedom, once tasted is a positive, empowering addiction that breathes life into me; vigour and enthusiasm. From this there is no going back.

Freedom thus honours and nurtures my soul and has me be the very best I can be. Freedom is my god and God gives me my freedom and only it may tell me what I should do as it speaks through the feelings in my heart. Nothing else carries the truth. Nothing else is as pure.

Freedom is Love

“Let yourself be free and organise yourself and your life accordingly”.

These words seem to come from a mystical source as an invitation to freedom, to living life free and with eternal hope, for it is through freedom that you reach a level of consciousness that will allow you to achieve true peak performance in every activity and in every area of life.

Being free is far more than it appears: it is freedom from judgment, expectation, attachment, belonging (being owned) and control; it is freedom from need, fear, anger, resentment and hatred; it is freedom from conditions and obligation. And freedom is everything and, therefore, freedom is love.

This the invitation to freedom, to being free, is an invitation to love, to being love. Be love in every aspect of your life and in all circumstances and you will truly be free.

An Excess of Profanity Indicates a Lamentable Lack of Vocabulary!

In one my regular “shower moments”, as I swore about something, it reminded me that I find it quite ugly to swear yet I have done so regularly for most of the last 34 years! I am not going to worry about why I did it. I still swear but much less than before and increasingly I feel uncomfortable with doing so.

Strangely enough, it is not my own swearing that brought this to light for me. It was living in a country where I don’t hear my own language most of the time (except on cable TV of course) and when I do it rarely includes profanity, so when I hear tourists swearing so much, sometimes several words in a single sentence, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

Swear words are intentionally ugly, designed to shock, yet they have become part of everyday language in many languages, including at least two of the main three global languages, Spanish and English (both of which I speak). I noticed that six years ago when I did a particularly demanding and intensive personal development course for over 6 months: we were required to agree to give up swearing for the period as part of our commitment. I can honestly say I am delighted I did that. I found it refreshing, inculcating a sense of pride in myself and my use of language that had me say something like “this meal is absolutely delicious” rather than something ugly like “this food is f.....g lovely” - actually, the latter is not my style at all, more Cockney than Maitland but you can see what I mean. I found myself at first searching for suitable words to describe my sentiments, words of a much broader and descriptive nature than repeating just a handful of expletives. By the end of the course my use of language had improved significantly and the power of my words with it.

The other thing to appreciate about swearing is that because its roots are in aggression, the words carry negative energy. Anyone used to reading my blog will know that in the final analysis, everything comes down to energy, positive or negative, and if one views this the use of this energy as creating a sort of bank balance of energy, then swear words build up a negative balance over time. Sure, it depends on where and how one uses it - when used directly to attack someone, that is far worse, but virtually all use of foul language carries a negative charge.

So, I want to watch myself more carefully, not because I “should” but because I like good energy and find the taste of bad words increasingly bitter to the tongue, especially when indiscriminately used in public without a care in the world for the ears it falls upon. Those ears suffer from the negative energy, whether they themselves swear or not. So, I swear but I wish to end it, to empower my self and enhance my self respect and keep the energy positive and high. What others do is up to them.

Harvesting a Lifetime of Opportunities

The nature of existence is such that it is fleeting in terms of our physicality in this world and beyond that is a dimension of existence we usually call “Heaven” which is a ‘place’* where we are truly at home and comfortable, free of the constraints and demands of the physical realm we inhabit.

Once “home”, our journey and growth continue, much like our Earth-based journey, but at a much reduced ‘pace’*. This is why we incarnate, to accelerate our rate of growth in ways that are not possible in “Heaven”. Given that opportunity, it is then lost or squandered if we fail to pursue every last opportunity for experience that is presented to us for fulfilment of our life purpose and maximisation of the learning.

It is this imperative that makes sense of why we sometimes feel compelled to find and fulfil our purpose: it is, if you like, pre-programmed into us, yet life’s circumstances may get in the way and suppress our natural, soul-driven desire for fulfilment. It is important, therefore, to discover that purpose before it is too late and the opportunities of this current incarnation are lost. That said, there is always the next life, but why wait?

To that end, ask yourself whether your current endeavours serve to fulfil you and make you feel complete. If not, ask yourself to be shown the way forward, thereby triggering levels of consciousness from the subconscious mind to the universal consciousness, signalling to them your desire and willingness to move forward**.

At that point, the request made, be open to clues you will get from time to time about your path or at least the next step towards getting you there. A big clue usually lies in the things that spark passion in you, the things you would do for free and that engage you so fully that sometimes time just seems to vanish. So too may you receive thoughts or ideas, seemingly out of the blue, or you may find little “coincidences” as signposts or “chance encounters” with people who will be drawn to you once you set the clear and committed intention to uncover and pursue your life purpose.

Then all you have to do is to follow patiently the clues as they arise, one step at a time, doing only what feels right (not necessarily easy or comfortable or even enjoyable) and gradually, perhaps over an extended period of months or even years, your purpose will become clear and you will be well on your way to living it and fulfilling it, remembering along the way that it is a journey and not a destination.

* I have marked these words since technically they are wrong: in that dimension as I understand it, there is no time and space continuum.

** This request is necessary since a fundamental rule of the universe is “free will” and so it cannot be forced upon you and needs to be chosen.

Life Experiences that Uplift or Depress? Choose!

Whatever it is that comes from life’s journey, we have experiences, experiences that can be divided into two categories: uplifting or depressing. Yet all experiences can be uplifting, even the most painful ones, when we take the trouble to learn from them and to use the experience for the future (something I call “extracting the juice!). This turnaround in perspective from negative to positive is the hallmark of a truly healthy mind, body and spirit. It brings happiness and contentment, even in the most unlikely of circumstances and allows personal growth at a more accelerated rate that is possible when we simply dwell on our suffering.

Admittedly, it can take practice to do this effectively time after time, but it is worth the investment of effort in doing so, as it rewards us handsomely in that we can become unstoppable in the face of anything. It starts with gratitude: gratitude for things as they are, even for the lessons from painful experiences. For example, my losing everything I owned (two lovely homes and a business) nearly 8 years ago was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most painful experience of my life so far, yet I have gained so much from it that I wouldn’t swap that experience for anything, even though I was left having to rebuild my life virtually from scratch in my mid forties. I have grown enormously as a result of it: I have gained great understanding of myself and others and I have found peace and happiness at levels that I never thought possible. If I could bottle it to sell it, I would! Always someone inclined to look for the “silver lining” to every cloud, I have taken that attitude to new heights that brings acceptance of hardships as a potentially rich vein of golden experiences to be mined for all they are worth.

Expanding this attitude beyond previous levels came from both the experiences and consciously practising gratitude, listing (every night before going to bed) at least 10-20 things I can be grateful for that day, anything from the roof over my head to the food in my stomach, from my refrigerator that cools my drinks to the beautiful, sweet-scented flowers on the bush near my home. This exercise is particularly helpful when life occurs as hard with little to be thankful for. It heightens one’s sensibilities, one’s appreciation even of the small things that we tend to take for granted. It does not mean resigning oneself to what one has, without dreams of aspirations for something better, but it does involve enhancing one’s appreciation for the many wonders of life and the major reward for this is happiness in the moment, in the circumstances in life that you face right now, not at some nebulous future time that may never come.

Futile Search for an Illusion

We have always be ready as a race to cast aside doubt in favour of certainty and yet to do so takes the pleasure out of life. The unexpected yields up so many mysteries to solve and pleasures to enjoy. So why spoil it and seek certainty that has never and will never exist?

Certainty is, in this context, another word for security, an utter illusion if anything ever was! Where is the certainty in owning a house that may tomorrow burn to the ground or be swept away by floods? “But I have insurance!”, I hear you say. But what if a surge of claims topples the insurer? What then? The very concept of ownership is false, only supported by the current governments and legal system - what if tomorrow they fall, as has happened in several places in recent history, the most dramatic one being in 1917 in the Russian Revolution? “Aha, but I also have money stashed away for a rainy day!”. Yes, but what if the economy collapses and, not for the first time in history people need a wheelbarrow for the cash to buy a loaf of bread? The list is endless.

Yes, some things are more secure that others but none is 100% secure, NONE. Yet we live our lives often clinging desperately to the mirage of a safety buoy in the belief it will make us happy. Since when has happiness come from playing safe? True happiness comes when we cast it aside and throw ourselves into life with gusto, following our hearts, our passions that express the very highest attributes of our soul, sometimes against all odds and always for our ultimate good. Whether we fail or succeed, we can climb back on the horse of life until we breathe our last breath and die contentedly knowing that we did the very best we can and had fun along the way.

Security, at best, wastes our greatest assets and gifts and holds us back from fulfilment of our life purpose; at worst it saps us of our life-blood, our vitality and passion for life. How very sad.

The Beginning of the End of Navel Introspection

There are times when it is hard to know what is best: whether you should delve deep into the psyche or simply let go. To over-analyse is to restrict power and, indeed, may even enhance the damaging impact of whatever it is that one seeks to analyse. Often it is better to let sleeping dogs lie, in as much as there is nothing required for healing to take place once it has been requested and instigated.

The old fashioned way of dealing with such things was to ignore them altogether, but this is not at all helpful. Then, in the Twentieth Century it became fashionable to look at things in detail and to analyse everything to the nth degree. But that “navel introspection”, though fascinating intellectually, rarely produced the desired “healing”, since it focused once more on something very painful or disturbing, thereby re-igniting or re-triggering the generation of further, often buried, memories that carry negative energy that then sits within our energy field until it is either removed or we die. It is far better, far more effective in term of healing, to rid oneself of the buried negative emotions or energy without recourse to analysis at all.

This controversial view only makes sense when viewed in the context of energy, not from the viewpoint of accepted societal norms in the West that tend to ignore the importance of energy altogether. One only need look at the impact of treatments that work with energy (such as reiki, acupuncture, reflexology, to name but a few) to see that there is more to this than meets the eye. However, as science slowly wakes up to the truth about energy, it will be seen for its pivotal position in understanding illness and its prevention and cure. Quantum physics has begun to shed light in this area and as it gains common acceptance and the workings of the theoreticians are expanded, so will acceptance of what may currently be seen as a radical perspective.

Hidden Layers of Consciousness

Seated beneath the surface of our conscious mind is a layer of consciousness we call “the subconscious mind”. Beyond it are several layers more that are unheard of in modern times yet play an important role in our lives. For example, there is a layer of consciousness called “the eperitheneum” and it is where we process energy we receive from others, categorising it and labelling it in an eternal library of useful resources that we tap into from time to time.

Then there is a layer called “the aboratum” which is where we feel communications from other beings (humans and other living creatures) which are then stored away for posterity.

Beyond that there are several more that function as processors of differing aspects of daily existence, from awareness of our surroundings to the shaping of our intuitive skills.

So complex is our mind and body that we neglect to acknowledge its wonders to the fullest extent and it is in the neglected but hidden areas that lies the answer to many mysteries of life including why and where we are able to discern things that are not apparent to the eye such as events that have yet to happen or thoughts that seemingly come from nowhere (such as this article).

Why it is we question and doubt these very real skills is because their source is hidden from view at this time and seems, therefore, “unscientific” because science has yet to discover, and therefore recognise, their presence. When it does, we can move on to rekindle lost gifts that lie buried beneath the surface, waiting to be sparked and through them shall we know our oneness, our connection with everything. Soon, the mysteries of the past will cease to be so and we can reclaim our power and use it wisely for the betterment of mankind.

Prelude to an Era of Peace and Prosperity

We are about to begin a new era in the world, one which will bring us to peace eventually. This peace will follow a short period of forgiveness and reflection in which mankind will explore what it wants for itself and its future, the relationship we want with life itself, the planet and all its inhabitants.

Such concepts seem a remote possibility at this time but as we move on into the new era, it will not seem so strange or remote and, indeed, by then it will feel like a natural continuation of the process of change already under way.

What will mark this period in history is a willingness of people to step back for the first time and not to have to be “right” about everything. This will be truly remarkable and will follow a period of enlightenment in which mankind will see the error of its ways and the inevitable conclusion of failing to address the issues that now plague the whole planet.

This period of enlightenment will begin shortly and will not end until the world is at peace. The stage will then be set for mankind to move forward to new heights in all aspects of life, from its relationship with material things to how it expresses creativity and human welfare. More extraordinary still will be the rapid rate of growth once we are unencumbered by the resource-greedy paradigm of war and conflict.

There is no need for further reflection on this in the meantime, since it will flow naturally and without force. Simply be ready, since the shift has already begun, though not yet visibly in most respects. Prepare yourself by accepting the inevitable swing away from this world of conflict and “reason”, of dominance and control. Surrender to the new way of life, led by your heart, in readiness and you will be ahead of the game and able to see a way forward in your own life, as I now do in mine.

God is indeed wonderful!

I want to share a special email I just wrote to a new friend I have been exchanging emails with for the past 2 weeks in some depth that has brought us close despite being 12,000 miles apart. It has been a very special exchange that I have enjoyed enormously and which has already created a deep and trusting friendship.

Dear Kathy*

I want to share something with which I think you will find both pleasing and interesting.

I have, as I think I have told you, been going through a prolonged healing about self worth, the main and very deep rooted issue of my life. This healing has brought pain, sadness and fear to the surface and has at times been very uncomfortable. Early on in the healing it became clear to me that I need to be focused on what it is I am offering clients as well as in my forthcoming book: not some nebulous concept of helping people but something that people can relate to and may therefore "buy".

It is nearly two weeks since I became aware of the need for that focus but I soon realised I cannot force it and had to trust that it will come when I am ready and that is what I have at times somewhat grudgingly done.

Then I had a shower moment this morning that was triggered by your gratitude to me and I began to think how to express what I do and then the words came to me: "I empower people to make the right choices for themselves, not by creating a dependence on me but by opening people's eyes to a different take on life, empowering them to make the right choices for themselves", or something less contrived to that effect! I forget the exact words but this conveys the essence. What made me stand up and pay attention was the use of "make the right choices", as that is part of the title of my book: "The Right Answer...How to make the right choices for YOU time after time". For me I am often guided to a title that then becomes an anchor even before I have woken up to the content. Isn't that amazing?!

What I saw was that we are indeed a gift for each other, you and I, and that is why we have come into each other’s lives at this challenging time for both of us. By giving to you unconditionally as part of our lovely new friendship, as you give back by your generous compliments and feedback, I got to see the difference I can make to people by these lovely exchanges and that this is truly of value. This also tells me that my healing is nearly over, maybe over completely. How wonderful is that? I am to enjoy the privilege of touching people's lives by sharing my experiences and empowering others to make the right choices.

They do say that you excel at that which you would do for nothing - imagine your life with you doing the same, not literally the same, but something you do from your heart from love, something that makes your heart sing and makes you feel glad to be alive. The roots may already be in place and yet they may not. It will however mean that when it arises you will be independent, not needing anyone or anything. This is freedom my dear. This is what you are on a path to, as am I, and I want you to see the perfection in nature, in God, in bringing you to me and me to you at this time. No abuse of one by the other, just balance. For each of us it is different, yet we have taught each other, such is the beauty of the universal father (as I have lately taken to calling it, though it is equally the universal mother, being totally balanced in male and female energy, of course!).

When times are hard, to remember this wonder, this love, can help us through the darkest times. "Yay, though I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil"! With this behind us we can be bold and realise things beyond our wildest dreams! If you have a long lost childhood dream, maybe now is the time to resurrect it and to hell with the doubts and fears and reasons why it cannot happen, for they are all false.

Through our exchanges and your reaction I see there is true value in what I can impart. I will be charging substantial sums for this in time and I see it is worth every penny! So, thank you Kathy. You are a gift and a lovely person whom I am very happy to have "met". Bless you darling. May you get all you deserve in life.

I now have the basis for refocusing my pages on my blog about service options and then for planning the book which will now shift as a result of this realisation.

Love

Maitland

* My friend’s name has been changed in the interests of privacy

Releasing Putrid Ancient Gases

As I continue to work through what is turning out to be a long, slow, deep healing of my deep routed sense of worthlessness that can be traced back to me as a three-year-old boy, I notice a sort of grieving is taking place. Not intense, but distinctly grieving; grieving for the buried pain I suffered, secretly thinking I was worthless yet I wasn’t even aware I carried this huge burden on my back for nearly five decades.

I have noticed this grief coming up in very short bursts for a week or two and it my suddenly lead to a welling of emotion and then a tear, sometimes a desires for more, for stronger outbursts to release the buried pain from deep down inside, locked away in the apparently lost annals of my memories.

But today it became apparent to me that I wanted to just let these feeling surface and come out, even stirring them to release and dispel them once and for all. Yet I desperately try to find a trigger for them, as if squeezing out puss from a vast boil in one’s deepest recesses, yet I must be patient and let nature take its course.

I can feel a deep desire from within to be rid of this horrid poison that has been denied for too long and shut away behind cast iron walls inside my being. Five decades is too long to have borne this sadness, this chain on my heart. I want to be free to yet another height, on a journey that resembles a lifelong climb of an infinite mountain.

What I see is that through patience and acceptance, I go with the flow of the healing, letting the pain surface, not to be dwelt upon, studied or analysed but simply let out, as one would burn off excess gas without looking into its make-up and what led to it. Simply letting it go with gratitude and without getting caught up in the story behind the sadness avoids feeding it and increasing its hold over me. Again, I just “observe and let go” and remember “it is not who I am”!

Observe and let go...it is not who you are!

These simple words given to me in answer to a plea for how to rise above being judgmental are far broader than they at first appeared to me to be. In them lies the secret to transcending all difficulties in life, because almost any suffering is in our heads and therefore, at one level, not real.

To live one’s life using this simple procedure for detachment and for connection with the One, one can, if one chooses, deal with anything. It is the process of letting go of doubts and fears and of simply surrendering to the One and letting it guide you from within.

This came up for me on a day when I am in some physical pain again and need medical attention and also I am feeling a little frustrated at the apparent lack of growth to allow me to do what I want to, to write my book! Then these words came to mind and I saw that they still apply, this time to observing how I create expectations and that when they are not met I get upset or frustrated. From the observance, I can simply let the attachment to that expectation go and trust in the universe to deliver what I need in what my friend calls “Divine Time”. The final reminder that I am not the expectations, I am above them and that attachment brings suffering and it robs one of the joy of being present (living in the "now").

Put another way, this allows one to live with the inner peace that comes when we stop attaching to this material world for gratification and fulfilment and just go with our inner guidance system. It is the realisation of the invitation to “be in this world but not of it”, to live but not to be given or dictated to by the external circumstances and possessions.

So simple yet so profound!

The True Role of Sex

In essence, sex is the means by which you reach deep connection with another human with whom you recognise a “natural attraction” which derives from a need to share and exchange energies that will be useful to you on your path. With a partner or spouse you each have energies the other wants in order to fulfil your purpose. Where the attraction and love is strong, the connection is profound and that means you are “very good for each other” in energetic terms, since you each have large amounts of energy the other wants. At its most basic, this is all there is to it. It is important because it gives you much needed and desired energy that will allow you to fulfil yourself at a higher level than would be possible without each other.

Sometimes that involves a lifetime exchange and sometimes the role of that person comes to an end and you move on. There is no need for attachment in this regard; you naturally know when it has come to an end.

Understanding these things allows you to see the value in sex and, in turn, in exploring your sexuality which allows you to maximise this very natural and desirable exchange.

That part of your energy system (your sacral chakra) that is responsible for sexual urges also drives your ability to manifest your material and other desires and also to draw people to you in furtherance of the fulfilment of your purpose. By drawing people magnetically using this same energy, you literally “pull them” (in a non-sexual sense) and this allows them to give you what you need and vice versa, just as in a sexual exchange. In this way, there is balance as each gives to the other in fair proportion and so does not drain you. In the absence of balance, the encounter becomes abusive of the “loser” in favour of the “winner” who may even take all. Such relationships are unfair and imbalanced and rarely last.

Returning to the subject of sex itself, it is not about whether it is “good” or “bad” or even “trivial” but an important tool for fulfilment of one’s life purpose. However, distinguish the pursuit of sex as an end in itself or as an addiction driven by the ego from fulfilment of self at all levels within a meaningful exchange or relationship for mutual benefit. The latter involves an essential beauty of purpose and a perfection in nature (God’s perfection). The former is not wrong but does not serve you and indeed drains you as you are drawn into multiple unhelpful exchanges that may even draw negative energy to you such as disease or abusive relationships. The secret lies in loving and honouring yourself to empower you to make the right choices, whether for short term or long term sexual fulfilment.

I hope this largely channelled explanation of the true role of sex, free from temporary societal judgments, helps reveal the wonderful reality of what is a beautiful gift from the universal father.

A Turnout for the Books

Wow, now there’s a turnout for the books: my father asking me to review a short story he wants to enter for a competition!

Let me explain. My father is nearly 75 and born into what in England we call a “Victorian family”, a family with supposedly Victorian strictures such as “Children should be seen and not heard” and “Spare the rod, spoil the child”, a world apart from the 21st Century and my vision of what life could be like one day. In this world, “love’ is a word rarely spoken and most definitely not in the same breath as “you”! In that world, part of toughening a child was keeping the compliments to a minimum and the criticisms to a maximum in order to extract the greatest growth or keep them in their place.

So this was the world I was born into, as if a belated arrival in another era. In this world, I made the Victorian behaviour mean things they were not necessarily designed to mean: that I wasn’t loved and was not worth much or important to my father. Sad and perhaps even far-fetched as it may sound, these perceptions filled my psyche at a deep level and, though buried deep out of sight and conscious thought, it dictated my every behaviour, my self perception, and formed much of what we now call my “ego”.

My father was a teacher, in fact, a very talented if old-fashioned teacher who managed to teach others to a level that exceeded the expectations of family and other teachers alike. But at home it was different and his Dickensian strictness just further fed my negative self image and being born into the first wave of state schooling that belittled the value of formal grammar in the teaching of English but I was also born to a man who taught that subject in old fashioned ways and faced what seems an insurmountable barrage of criticism that, though perhaps not wrong, crushed my sensitive spirit so much that by 18 I chose sooner to write my poetry in French than my native English, confident that in this way I would avoid the heart-wrenching invalidation that I had faced for years.

Indeed, it was another 27 years before I would seek to rise out of the cocoon that bred ‘Maitland, the writer’ to have me emerge slowly in the face of false obstacles to be my true self. It was a slow process, one which is in effect still “work in progress” and though, by and large, I have now shed the false image that stood mirrored before me, I will always have its reminder to contrast what I have become and perhaps sometimes goad me on to ever more challenging feats.

It is in this set of circumstances that in recent times and after many decades of relative estrangement, my father and I have at last begun to connect and have a relationship that is worthy of the labels “parent-child” and “loving”. I am talking only of months and in that short time of mutual exploration I have bared my heart and in exchange enjoyed his perhaps quiet but certain mutual appreciation. To my delight, this recent shift has had him compliment me on my “excellent” letter writing skills (that 25 years as a lawyer had no doubt honed) and then most recently he asked for my feedback on his own writings, shot stories for online submission to a competition.

Besides the obvious potential this offered for unattractive “revenge” (unattractive in a fledgling space of love and respect), I felt the more appropriate appreciation for God’s generosity in bringing us to this place of mutual respect in which I had also sought guidance to compensate for a lack of a formal grammar education. I thought it such Divine perfection to have led us slowly to this space to heal the rifts and false barriers to the natural love that had had me shed so many tears in father/son stories in films and on television over the years. This truly is a turnout for the books, a turnout for MY books. Thank you, God.

All at Sea Yet Waiting for the Boat to Come Home

All at sea, yet waiting for the boat to come home; I feel a little lost, confused, in stasis with just one guiding light, one lighthouse, my universal father. Only nestling in its loving energy do I find solace, a safe haven in troubled waters as I remain in indefinite limbo, no sign of land and yet fogbound in port!

So, almost blind as to where I am, I am seemingly unable to move either forwards or backwards. The messages yesterday were clear and succinct: I must bide my time and all will resolve itself of its own accord. Unaccustomed as I am to letting go and to letting nature take its course, my natural inclination being to seek answers and solutions, as that that is being done for me and any attempt to do that would simply obscure and obstruct my rescue longer, I somewhat reluctantly surrender once more.

In the limbo of the moment, I focus instead on encounters with two new friends: one in the exchange of many emails between myself in Thailand and my new friend in California and the other a long and very welcome chat with a new French friend I met at the coffee shop today, a man with a common interest in healing, energy and the true nature of the world. These encounters feed and nurture me and help me through this period until “normal service” can resume.

Responses to My Doubts

As the morning has progressed and my moods change, I receive these words:

First from Kwan Yin:

“You are being engaged in order to deliver a result that requires patience, young man. It is not of the ordinary, this path you have chosen, so bear with us while we find your solution for you. There is no reason to fret as we never fail to deliver your desired results. Patience and trust is everything. I promise we will deliver you handsomely in time; there is yet abundant time for us to do so. Until then, be at peace and bide your time.”

Then from the universe:

“I am the essence of power and through me, your divine father, you will have everything you desire. Be not afraid of the dark, for I am always with you. In my Light shall you one day shine. Until then, be alert to your moods, as they betray me and fall short of the expectation you have for yourself. Allow me to drive you where you want to go. You are a passenger in my vehicle. Let go of the wheel, or else you will crash! This is how I want it to be, with you at my side, there to do my bidding. Be at peace young man, for all is well, now and always.”

The Pain of Wrongful Attachment to a Solution

I tried so hard not to get attached to what I perceived was a possible source of funds to allow me to rent suitable accommodation when we move in 3 weeks, but I seem to have failed! When it did not work out as I had hope yesterday, I tried to remain calm and stable and indeed seemed to do well at first, if I was also a little disappointed. But having slept on it, I feel unsettled and quite upset, even a little sad and scared.

It simply means I have allowed myself to get attached to one of a million possible solutions because this was the only visible one and the others are not yet in sight. I only need one, after all. But my ego craves security and comfort and it is the source of this temporary suffering as it is running scared, afraid to trust the universe.

Even by my own logic, without the faith I normally enjoy, I can see that the universe has clearly mapped out the desired path and it is hardly likely to go to such pains to do that and then let me down at the last post! I can see that with this it is highly likely it will be supported in what a friend rather charmingly calls “Divine Time”.

At least by owning my pain, I can start to rise above it; denied, it would lie buried, gnawing away at me in secret. So, better the honesty about my fears and doubts as I can then choose to let them go and, indeed, as I write these words and thereby cast my doubts to the wind, the pressure eases and I feel a hint of peace that is ready for me to build on by bringing may attention to the universe and its undying love and support that I feel always when I am conscious of it. So, trust resumes as I recall the universe has never let me down and I believe will never desert me: if its plan should differ from the picture I have built of how it will look, so be it.

Divine presence within

Moving in wholeness

Living in joy and love

I surrender to your will.

Bring the radiance of your Light

Into my heart and mind

And merge with me
To manifest your will upon the Earth.*

* Source unknown

Across the Miles

As I get to know a knew friend from an online spirituality group across the miles (12,000 miles away in fact) I love exploring with her all my feelings, fears, doubts and experiences that have brought me to where I am as well as the things I stand for in life. I find so many people are searching for this same freedom, albeit a path speckled with challenges every day. I love my life and I appreciate it even more when fed back to me through the eyes of another. I see how profoundly lucky I am to be so happy, so free, so much the author of my own book of life. My life before was so driven: driven by obligation, expectation and denied fear.

I was not an especially unhappy person before in terms of everyday life. Indeed, people often used to comment that I was always smiling and seemed happy but if you scratched the surface it was a different story. But I thought it was normal and that it would always be that way. Now that I know it need not be and that I can, with practice, choose how my life looks, I am so happy. What I have now I can enjoy more and yet I can delight even further when the next level is achieved, and so on indefinitely. Above all, what I have is hope and faith - hope for my dreams and faith that they will come true and that I am so very blessed and protected by the universe.

If I sometimes forget, it is never for long. I am soon back on track, especially when I do that exercise I mentioned in the piece I posted yesterday entitled “Spiritual Freedom - Refinements” (connecting with the universe frequently throughout my day by bringing my attention to it).

As I share these things and many others with my new friend I get a sense of joy and wonderment as I realise how much there is I have experienced and how helpful it has all been, if also painful at times as well. My friend tells me she is learning a lot from me but I too get so much out of getting to know her in this way: reassurance that my words can reach and touch people; reassurance that I am on the right track as the joy in sharing things with her is profound and I look forward to hearing from her with relish.

I hope it may help her but that is not what I set out to do as it would be patronising and hardly the basis for friendship - I simply share who I am and open my heart to her as she does with me. Whatever else may follow is but part of a bigger plan of the universe but all I need do is be open and enjoy the exchange for what it is: two people on a similar journey getting to explore friendship and to see what is available out of being open, such are the wonders of modern technology that allow this to take place at all. What I feel from her is openness, frankness, love, generosity of spirit and a desire to expand who she is. It is really quite special and gives me hope that a new age is indeed possible as I watch others bravely go beyond their known world in search for something altogether better.

Responsibility vs Blame

When someone tells us we should take responsibility for something, we usually react as though we are being told to take the blame. But this is not necessarily true at all, though, granted, it does depend on the intention of the person who is saying it!

If you asked me what is the most powerful thing I have done in the last 10 years, it would have to be “taking responsibility...for my life”. When we think it is other people, circumstances or events that are responsible for making our life other than “is should be”, we are not taking responsibility, we are being victims; victims of those other people, circumstances and events. If we do that, we are lost: there is no hope for recovery until we can see why and how we are responsible.

”Are you telling me that when I got the sack, it was my fault?!” No! But I am saying that you are responsible for your life and for the things you attract into it (by the now quite famous “law of attraction”). It means our fears and negative expectations or doubts act like a beacon and bring them to us. So, if you fear being unemployed or redundant, you make it much likelier to happen.

Taking responsibility, on the other hand, doesn’t let someone who has wronged us off the hook. So if that feared dismissal was unfair and you happen to live in a country that had laws against such things, maybe you will be entitled to compensation. But you are still responsible. The complaining and wriggling that it is otherwise will simply draw a similar lesson to you until it is well learnt.

As a man whose first forty-five years largely involved denying his worst fear of worthlessness and ending up insolvent (though luckily not bankrupt), I brought about my worst fear by the law of attraction, thus, in a way proving myself “right”: I was indeed worthless and very painful it was indeed!

If I were to bore you with the entire story, I am sure that if I wasn’t accepting responsibility I could easily tell you a whole tale of woes, of wrongdoings and inadequacies of other people and some of it might be true but nothing will detract from the fact that I am responsible for what happened because I caused it by my fears. A person who ends up being beaten by their spouse may be be “to blame”, the spouse definitely having something to be responsible for themselves, but that person created it by how s/he was being in life and/or by attracting people who do that sort of thing.

From a Distance - Bette Midler

This wonderful old song sums up my dream of how the world will be and I promise to work to this end. God is watching us from a distance, and giving us enormous helping hand, but we have to deliver the results ourselves and we will. I have no idea how - like how to eat an elephant: one mouthful at a time (sorry to those lovely creatures which I have no desire to eat!).



The wonderful lyrics read:

From A Distance: Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green,

and the snow-capped mountains white.

From a distance the ocean meets the stream,

and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,

and it echoes through the land.

It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,

it's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough,

and no one is in need.

And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease,

no hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments

marching in a common band.

Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.

They're the songs of every man.

God is watching us. God is watching us.

God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend,

even though we are at war.

From a distance I just cannot comprehend

what all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony,

and it echoes through the land.

And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,

it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.

This is the song of every man.

And God is watching us, God is watching us,

God is watching us from a distance.

Oh, God is watching us, God is watching.

God is watching us from a distance

Spiritual Freedom - Refinements

Expanding upon the two pieces I wrote yesterday I have been thinking about that beautifully simple way to live with one’s limitations by transcending them.

I refer to the simple advice on how to deal with the judgments that come to mind as one goes about one’s daily life, the energy of which is negative and ugly and holds one back. In fact, the advice was given to me to deal with my own shortcomings and consists simply of the following:

Observe:

notice that you have made a judgment or criticism;

Let it go

consciously step away from it and stop thinking about it;

Remember, it is not who you are

I find its simplicity beautiful, its impact peaceful. I love it.

So this reminded me of a more advanced practice I have tried to adopt lately which makes the process even more powerful and lifts your spirit even more (in other words, it “raises your vibration” further).

It is simple too: after you let go and remember that the judgments and criticisms are not who you are, all you do is:

Bring your attention to love:

think about someone you love unconditionally or who loves you unconditionally - it could be a favourite pet, a parent or child, a spouse/love one or even a figurehead like Jesus, Mohammed or Buddha

OR

Bring your attention to God/Allah/the Universe

whose love in unlimited and unconditional - it is this that I usually do and this had by far the greatest long term impact, especially when repeated throughout my day

I can honestly say that when I remember to do this, I am far happier, more grounded, more at peace and more creative than ever.

Making Amends with Yourself

Make amends with yourself and you will feel as if you can fly, since doing so involves forgiveness and loving kindness towards the most important person in your life, YOU; forgiveness and loving kindness for all the disappointments, failures and wrongdoings in your life so far.

It draws a line in the sand that clears the way for other more joyful and exciting things in future, liberating the burdened spirit to pursue its desires free of the constraints of the past self-judgments, criticisms and failures that hold your heart back and force you into a life less satisfying and rewarding that it could be.

If I could but express how desperately painful and retarding it has been to suppress all these emotions for so long, I feel I could dissuade the entire world from living with such deep, destructive pain a moment longer, thereby liberating the whole planet in the process. All my inadequate words can express for now is that I feel so very hollow, so deeply drained by the buried emotions as they slowly surface and drift away, tears of recognition of all the pain and lost opportunity occasionally welling up spontaneously, seemingly from nowhere, and further evacuate me of those poisonous emotions that have lurked within me, buried deep within every cell of my body for decades.

The resultant vacuum will slowly fill with whatever opportunistic energies I may accumulate in life, so it is better that I choose to fill it now with energy to lift my spirit and empower me as I journey on. I therefore ask the universal consciousness to fill the new vacant spaces within me with its loving energy...because I can and because I would far rather have that than all the poison I unwittingly lived with until now.

Spiritual Freedom - A Personal Challenge

My deep desire for the unification of mankind and for world peace that I wrote about in the preceding piece is something I am totally committed to yet the very idea of the commitment scares me. How on earth can we jump from where we are now to such a different place in my lifetime? Many would say it is impossible but I don’t believe in the impossible: everything is possible if you truly believe in it.

But why it scares me is because I know that I myself struggle with opinions and judgments which, if allowed to reign free, would prevent such an ambitious goal ever coming close to fruition. If I feel judgmental and critical with all my self development, how can I expect most other people to do it. It starts with me (“Be the change you wish to see in the world”, Mahatma Ghandi) and indeed it sort of ends with me in that I cannot change anyone else, only myself.

With this in mind, as I pondered what I had written earlier, fearing I sounded a little pompous and self righteous, I asked the universe, “What can I do about my own judgments, as I am worried I often think judgmental things, yet I don’t like it?” and the answer that came was short and sweet: “Observe, then let go; this is not who you are”. The words were so simple and immediately brought peace to my concern. We live in an imperfect world and to expect to be perfect is unrealistic and indeed unduly restrictive and self punitive.

In essence, what it means is, notice that you are making the judgments in the first place, then let them go, stop thinking about it and remember you are better than such things, that you are, at heart, a far better person than someone who judges others. It brings to mind, “How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the splinter out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.” (Luke 6:42).

I am suitably behumbled by the awareness this has rekindled, something that will ideally form part of a life long personal discipline and over time the noise of the judgments will fade away and leave me in peace and living my dream.

Spiritual Freedom

I always say that my spirituality is entirely personal and I never seek to persuade anyone to believe in what I do, I simply share my experiences and my beliefs and people are free to pick and choose what feels right for them, if anything. I do, however, ask for respect for my beliefs, not to be judged for them or for being me. I try to live a good life and generally succeed and I am worthy of more than people’s judgments.

Each of us is unique because our experiences and our choices are unique - individual things may be common enough but what makes us unique is the particular mix and match of experiences that are ours. So, it is unrealistic to think that we can be the same as anyone else and, indeed, it is most unattractive. But why then do people seek to put us in boxes and insist we all follow the same beliefs. Where is the love and freedom in that? It is fear-ridden and intolerant. Such things are so much less that what God or the universal consciousness are about, the unconditional love that is everything.

As I have ventured along the path to where I am now, I have gradually met more and more people who seek a freer sort of spirituality, whether or not within the broad guidelines of their familiar or chosen religion. I myself follow any and all major spirits behind a whole range of religions from Jesus to Mohammed, from Buddha to Shiva and my main guiding light other than the One is Kwan Yin, the spiritual head of Mahayana Buddhism, yet I am not a Buddhist. I love God, I love Jesus, I love Mohammed and I love all the others I have named and many more who came to serve mankind. I am dedicated to one God, one world, to the unification of mankind and to peace on Earth. Does it mean then that because I don’t see Jesus as the only way to God that I am doomed to eternal hell fire? I don’t believe so for an infinite, loving God would never do such a thing. Yet they are as entitled to their beliefs as I am to mine. All I ask is not to have a judgmental finger wagged in my face!

As I meet others on a path of freedom in spirituality I find a non-judgmental acceptance, a belief in themselves and a sense of love and kindness that is not common in today’s world. It is this that gives me hope for the future, for a world of mutual respect of religious and spiritual beliefs, of cultural differences and, above all, of the many things that unite all mankind: the desire to love and be loved unconditionally, to live an abundant and healthy life free from poverty and disease. All this is the promised land for me, a land I am committed towards helping bring about.

My Experiences of Having and Being Lucky!

I am 52 years old and I have never had a pet that has lived out its natural life. For one reason or another since I was a boy we had pets, failed to perform our part of the bargain in looking after them (or they proved too much trouble in the case of the cute but undisciplined Cairn Terrier we had when I was 7 whose party trick was to pee on all our guests at the house without fail!) and they had to go. A dog, some guinea pigs, two budgies and a rabbit. In the end, we gave them up, so I never really got close to an animal.

Many years later, my mother had a beautiful pedigree tri-colour basset hound called Tanya, but when my mother became very ill with Alzheimer’s and had to go in a home for 24-hour care, I still had my legal practice and that is one dog that should never be left alone all day, so reluctantly we parted with her - three times before we got the right home for her, each parting more painful than the last.

I see that I really loved her but I kept something back or else I don’t think I could have let her go. I feel as though my experience from childhood taught me not to get too close to animals as they will eventually go and, indeed, that become true even of Tanya, albeit my own choice.

So it was with some reluctance that I agreed about 6 months ago with my partner that we would eventually have a dog and then in a matter of weeks I saw a beautiful little West Highland Terrier puppy in a pet shop nearby. There were several, in fact, but I felt drawn to this particular one: not the cutest of the pack but there was something in that look as he turn his head to the side as we were leaving, as if to say “Well...aren’t you going to take me home with you then?”! On enquiry I had discovered they were as expensive here in Thailand as in the West, not least since they are quite rare here. Nevertheless, I made up my mind to have him eventually, when resources would allow. I knew somehow we would get him.

For the next 10 weeks, money got shorter and shorter and every time I went to the shopping centre where the pet shop is located, I would drop in to see him, though never going inside or holding him. I would go at least 3 or 4 times a week, sometimes more. Slowly, as he got older, the price went down but my resources would not even stretch to that. Finally I got some more work in after 10 weeks and on enquiry not only was the price down some 40% on the original price but they offer me a further 20% off that price as they had watched me coming time and time again and felt I would make a good keeper for him. It was a rare but genuine offer and I was very pleased to take them up on it.

A day later we brought him home, all groomed and ready for us and he was at home with us straight away. That said, when my partner was out working on the second evening that Lucky was with us and I was getting ready for bed, I put Lucky into the pen we put him in overnight, next to our own bed, and went for my shower as usual. Lucky was excited, I could hear, but I had to shower so I carried on and when I came out, oh my gosh, what a smell! I had missed the sign that he need to go out and he had done a fairly generous poo in the pen but not contented with that he had danced in it in all his excitement! It was all over the floor, his paws, some of the sides of the pen and even beyond the pen on the outside floor and walls! I think he set out to re-paint it all!

I was upset at the time and quickly lifted him out, first focused on washing him down with water with a smattering of Dettol then I set about cleaning up the rest. I was really exhausted by the time my amused partner came home!

Thankfully that experience has not been repeated and he was house trained in days to 80-90% reliability and with two weeks almost completely. What I find really fascinating about having had Lucky come into my life is how much it has altered me. He is so loving and loyal. Sure he is sometimes naughty and we do have a blue-moon incident such as him jumping off the floor above us in our apartment block, running down the main road untethered and refusing to come back and narrowly missing motorbikes and even a car plus a couple of pees on our bed! But, by and large, I would say he is somewhat of an angel!

Every morning when he wakes up he likes to spend time along side us (I swore I would NEVER allow a dog on my bed!) and when his urge to go out for a pee or whatever gets strong, he starts licking our faces and feet and if we are feeling tired or lazy, he will eventually start to bark gently until we have no choice but to get up!

I love how he can sense my moods so easily - I had tears over my dear late mother this morning and he noticed and came running over as if to say “There, there!”, showering me with wet kisses, as I call them. We are not perfect pet owners I am sure but we try really hard and why wouldn’t we? He is like a child to us and we adore him. Even when I sneeze, he comes running over to make sure I am OK (as I had a bad cold recently and he saw me suffering like most men - badly!).

As I said, he has changed me. I feel very close and whenever I think of him I feel very warm inside. I hate being away from him for long as he does me (and his other “parent”!) and I see that each of my partner and I have different strengths with him. My partner is more playful and indulgent whereas I am perhaps stricter but very calm and loving and actually he takes to me more in terms of doing as he is told. No need to shout loud (I occasionally slip up with that but generally I prefer the calm approach) and I am at great pains to praise his good deeds. He is 7 months old now and he has been with us just over 3 months, yet without any real attempt at training (nothing formal at all) he will usually obey my instruction. He will sometimes even obey signals accompanied by a simple clear intention that he obey. If he gets excited, it is less effective, but he amazes me how much he does do what I tell him. He knows when he is wrong and comes to call most of the time now. I love that when he can see it is time for bed, he sits on our bed and looks into the pen and if we ignore him he makes his funny growling sound that is so cute that it makes me feel I could almost eat him!

What I find most moving is that through my love and sense of connection with him, I have found myself feeling for other animals a lot more, sensing their feelings and pain at times. It is a lovely feeling, an extension of the connection I already felt with nature in terms of trees and scenery but now with animals too. It is glorious and I see so much richness but also sadness at how others miss out on the wonders of nature. I don’t judge them as I was the same until relatively recently, but I pray they too find it because once they do, there can be no more of the abuse of nature all over the world and I thank God for bringing me Lucky as my lesson: it is I who am indeed lucky!