People tell me I seem very happy and am always smiling. It is true that I am very happy and smile a lot, though not always since I am only human and have my off moments, moments when I lose focus or am short tempered about something, but nothing lasts for long and the more I practise the things I have learnt in recent years, the quicker I am able to return to that genuinely happy state.
Today I wrote in reply to emails from my father and a new Thai friend and in the course of doing so, my attention was brought to just how very lucky I am, or rather how blessed (since I don’t believe in luck since we make our own luck): I have reached a point where I can see most things for what they really are and am thereby free of the chains we place on ourselves because of our false beliefs about ourselves, our life and our potential.
I saw that this journey of self discovery and fulfilment which some time ago brought me to the realisation that we can be, do and have whatever we desire, has now taken me even further, since many of the things I once desired have little meaning to me: wealth, smart cars, status, an impressive home. It seems I am no longer given or motivated by an attachment to material desires. This extra level of development made me glow inside and showed up when I bought myself a top of the range laptop this week: I became aware that, though it is both beautiful and functionally excellent as well as very useful, it is not as thrilling or satisfying to me as it would once have been. I am delighted to have it and intend using it to great effect, but that addiction to buying “things” to make me feel better has gone altogether as I see material cravings (as opposed to just desires) for the source of suffering that they are. My gratitude is for what it will do for me, not for the having of it for its own sake in order to prove a point.
I can see that though I want a nice looking car, I am most concerned to have something to take me comfortably from point A to point B. I am barely able to muster enthusiasm for a car I once craved: a BMW 650i, even though I know that one day I will be able to own one if I still wish to. My dream home too will be beautiful and an outstanding haven with a superb atmosphere conducive to creativity, set interwoven with nature. This dream thrills me for all that it will bring in terms of peace and relaxation, yet before I would have been more interested in the accumulating equity it held and how I could eventually trade up for something better; I would have enjoyed the status I craved and felt that it brought to me, more than its functional gifts.
How absurd was my life, lost in the maze of modern living, chasing the impossible dream of “happiness one day”! Now I have escaped the maze and am free to enjoy what I have at the time and to enjoy inner peace and contentment, still having dreams that I believe will come true but dreams of things for the right reasons, not to please or impress others but to make life more rich and enjoyable. This is freedom indeed!
No comments:
Post a Comment