Respecting Oneself

I am feeling a little weighed down by anger today. Yesterday, I let someone’s very inappropriate behaviour upset me and the truth is that I am still angry about her behaviour, feeling powerless to do anything since this person controls where we live and she even threatened to kick us out over our objecting to paying for a second internet connection which is already expensive and plagued with connection problems. Her aggression was totally unprompted and the behaviour high-handed and it does not sit well with my sense of justice and fairness, yet we cannot afford to move at this time.

I dislike the ugly hold this emotion has on me right now, no matter how justified my feelings may be. I keep reaching out to balance myself (mind, body and spirit) and bring my awareness to the universal consciousness which would normally be enough but so far it has been less than successful and I am left with this nasty taste in my mouth and this sense of frustration at being treated rudely and disrespectfully.

As I type, I have decided to use this writing to shed my anger onto the page and remove it from my body and as I declare it, so it is and it goes. It is as if,having put the unpleasantness onto the paper, I removed it from inside me. As I did it, my intention was indeed that it would leave me in this way. How interesting. Another tool for managing myself. I feel considerably better having taken myself back from the grips of something unpleasant and now unfamiliar. Put another way, I simply let it go, because as things stand there is nothing I can do about it and my upset came from holding onto the anger and frustration, all of which made no difference to the subject of it yet sat inside me like poison. I see that the balancing of mind, body and spirit could not happen while my ego held onto the anger and wouldn’t let go.

I add to this exercise an intention to remove any negative energy that accumulated itself in my body before I let the anger go and with that the process is truly complete. Now I am free to enjoy whatever I do today and that tightness in the chest is slipping away fast, restoring my sense of well-being and freeing my body of something that would in time upset its balance and may have brought a small illness or other disorder (upset stomach, indigestion or even a headache).