A Promise that Forever Gives Hope

It is with reluctance that I now embrace turmoil from having faced so little opportunity today for mental nourishment, the sort that I get from writing something from my heart without conscious thought or effort. But that is what I am now doing instead, in order to rescue myself from my unsettled state. I always have hope and now that it seems I can tap into the universal consciousness at will, the source of that special something from the heart, I am given hope immediately; hope that I may one day produce something wonderful, something perhaps to help alleviate the enormous amount of suffering in the world as it is today.

I have never completely given up the hope that one day I would find happiness and personal fulfilment, well, not really anyway…yes, there was that desperate time nearly 8 years ago when I willed the universe to swallow me up, that time of desperation as my world fell apart all those years ago, that longing for something that was missing or even for nothing, but that soon passed and in its wake I am left ever optimistic, ever hopeful once more.

I can’t describe precisely what I did to get through that awful time: I suppose I simply took one day at a time. Yet I think that what probably kept me going against all odds was that promise I made to myself to have the best life I possibly can, nothing more, nothing less, to strip away all that I had acquired to find the real me that could find the hitherto elusive happiness and fulfilment. From that came a commitment and then an inner knowing that I could be, do and have everything I want in life, a knowing that came from within, beyond logic or reason. Holding onto that that in the face of all things, I battled through life until one day I was ready to leap from the old world to the new and find the freedom and self expression I longed for and felt I deserved.

So, then, it seems I have found the answer to my uncertainty about what got me through the worst time of my life, that had me feel life was not worth the pain: it is in that promise to myself that lies the source of my redemption and now I am full: full of hope, love, inner peace and contentment… and I am as lucky as anyone alive!